relationship – Page 3 – Nourishing Wholeness

NN(G)FT and A Virgin Pedi!

NN(G)FT is a term I learned this week from business-strategist, marketing-maven, spiritual-ass-kicker with-a-side-of-hip-hop-swagger, Maria Forleo! (Non-Negotiable Friend Time) I’ve added the “G”, which emhasizes the importance of the “Girl” in Friend Time when you’re a woman, anyway…

I’ve been so busy this past year studying to practice as a Holistic Health & Wellness Coach with IIN that I haven’t made as much time for my girlfriends as usual, and I’ve really missed it! I hereby commit to making it non-negotiable!

There is something so supportive about getting together with a girlfriend to talk, to be heard, to share about what’s going on in our lives. And even better, to get together and have it be my first time ever to experience a pedicure made it even more fun!!

(I know, it’s probably hard to imagine that in my 50s, I had never had a pedicure, but I wasn’t brought up in that world and never really understood what a pleasure it could be…until now!)

In my mission to add more pleasure and fun into my life over the last few years, I have enjoyed painting my own toenails. But I always use the same dark red, and I often go a long time in between painting them.

So, today, at my Virgin Pedicure, I decided to try a different color—a lot lighter and oranger—to break out of the box a bit and invite more fun in!

I was surprised how much I enjoyed entering this new world! I joined a tribe of women who knew something I didn’t—a way of taking care of themselves that is even culturally sanctioned!

We ranged in age from girls of seven or so (for a wedding, sitting in really fun pink kittycat chairs—can I sit there next time?) to women in their 80s, seemingly from many different walks of life. Some came in pairs, like my girlfriend and I, but quite a few came alone. We enjoyed each other, complimented the colors chosen, and settled into the ritual. We all belonged—as women, as women who were taking care of themselves, as women who were seeking some pleasure in connection, in fun colors, in touch, in relaxation, in community…

I still have such a warm feeling of wellbeing from this participation in the tribe of women! It really did feel like an initiation of sorts for me—an initiation into a new form of pleasure, mutual appreciation, and relational connection of womanhood I had not known.

Do you have NNGFT?
How do you bring more pleasure and fun into your life?

life practices: summer solstice 2014

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Summer Solstice is almost upon us! The daylight hours have been growing since Winter Solstice, each day becoming slightly longer until now, when seen from the North or South Poles, the sun reaches its highest position in the sky and appears to stand still (Latin “sol” or sun and “sistere” or to stand still). In 2014, the Summer Solstice occurs at 5:15 am CT on Saturday, June 21st.

Here in Minnesota, we’ve had a long cold Winter and a very unpredictable Spring—cool, hot, windy, thunder-stormy…but everything is growing and really green!! It turns out that the earth knows how to grow and follow her natural rhythms regardless of how crazy the weather is…

Summer’s glory—blooming radiance—abounds, with a new flower coming into bloom almost every day. We’ve passed from Spring’s early blooming bulbs to Lilacs, to Azaleas, to Lilies of the Valley, to Peonies, to Poppies and Clematis, and more…and now Evening Primrose and Daisies are smiling their sunny faces just in time for the Solstice!

How are you preparing or being prepared to bloom this Summer? What are some ways you can support yourself so that you, like the earth, can flourish this Summer?

You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:

Sitting outside, on the earth if possible, light a candle, red or orange in color.
Take a few deep breaths into your connection with the earth—into your feet or bum or legs, and breathe that connection up into your belly.
When you feel grounded, look around you and find one beautiful thing—it may be a flower opening or the light or something else that moves you.
Say gently to yourself “Beauty sees beauty.” Feel yourself, as beauty, seeing beauty. Own this, breathe it in…be beauty, breathing in beauty…
Continue to breathe as you look around, acknowledging and welcoming more beauty within and without. You might also want to try a different verb—”Beauty sees/hears/touches/senses…beauty.”
When you feel filled and beauty-full, say thank you and blow out the candle.

Remember that as this day comes to an end, the days will very slowly become shorter, until at Autumn Equinox, the day and night will be balanced, and by Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. Savor and enjoy your own flourishing and beauty with that of the earth this Summer season! May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. My collaging has slowed down recently as I pour more creative energy into my studies (more about that below), my daily practice, the garden, creating healthy meals and new recipes, and other projects.

Being Woman explores the luscious, life-giving, instinctual, ever-renewing, deep Feminine ground that not only supports us but also gives birth to our many human expressions. We arise from and return to Her.

How does She live and arise through you?

Nourishing Wholeness: My New Holistic Health & Wellness Coaching Practice! I am so excited to be starting to practice as a Holistic Health & Wellness Coach—it feels like the fulfillment of my life’s journey thus far! Studying with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, I also bring my years of practice and training as a Certified Riso-Hudson Enneagram Teacher, an ordained Interfaith Minister, a Certified Laughter Yoga Leader, a Diamond Approach Student, and an Assistant in Sara Avant Stover’s Red Tent, as well as a Student in her Way of the Happy Woman Certification Program.

I will be taking more clients—both in person and via phone or skype—in September. Be in touch if you’d like to set up a free discovery session to talk about your dreams and desires for your health and well-being. I would be honored to support you on this path!

Fun, Healthy Eating as a Practice! How about instead of battling with the dandelions in your yard, you picked them and ate them instead?

Are there wild things growing in your yard or on your property that you can harvest and eat? I’d love to hear about it!

Women’s Practice. As women, there’s something we rarely talk about. We pretend it doesn’t happen. Some of us are ashamed by it. Some wish it would simply go away. Even in the most “evolved” and “spiritual” communities, it remains taboo. Have you guessed what it is?

That’s right: it’s our moon cycle. (Or period or menses or whatever your favorite word for it is.)

Last year, with the guidance of my teacher, friend, and yogini, Sara Avant Stover, a group of really brave women began changing this conversation. This “Moon Tribe” got real and raw about how their moon cycles affect them, their work in the world, and their relationships. It was edgy. Real. And especially valuable and healing—for thousands of women across the world.

Poetry as a Practice.

Bare branches and silent winter days
are but a memory
as we near summer solstice.

Shades of white snow and crystal blue
have given way to relentless green.

From dormancy rises
a summons to grow
that keeps us on our toes.

No longer shoveling
instead we mow, pull, whack,
and make our choices
around what to trim and tame
and what to let grow wild.

What we know
most especially this time of year
is that everything and everyone
shares this boundless call to grow.

Seasons and cycles give us
quiet reflective times
and periods of busting out.
A pull toward green sprouting
boisterous courageous steps
further in and further out
in this world.

If its inspiration you seek
as you feel the push / pull inside you
of steps in perhaps frightening new directions,
look to the grace of branches
swaying with the weight of vibrant leaves
heavy from new growth and recent rains.
See the way buds stretch skyward
readying for bloom
as if extending a cupped hand
to hold the sun.

You can trust the trees, the flowers,
the bursting green of this season.
Just as you can trust your own yearning
to set your wild spirit free
and grow in directions that call to you

Chris Heeter, Leadership Speaker, Wilderness Guide, Poet
The Wild Institute

Blooming and Flourishing Summer Blessings,
Katy Taylor, Holistic Health & Wellness Coach

life practices: spring equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Spring Equinox occurs midway between the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice, and the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night,” but in reality, the equality of day and night is only approximate and depends on your geographic location! In 2014, the Spring Equinox occurs at 10:57 am on March 20th.

We’ve had a long, cold Winter this year—the ground covered in snow and the temperatures lower than usual, for longer than usual. It’s hard to believe that under the snow cover, under the frozen ground, new life is stirring and will surge forth into Spring, but this seasonal miracle is coming, even here to Minnesota!

The dark womb of Winter provides the fertile ground that invites us to dream ourselves into a new seasonal cycle, in which new life will spring forth. From the deep dive into the unknown darkness of the dreamtime, new visions for our life take form. The Cailleach, or Winter Queen, completes her rule anytime between Imbolc (Brigid’s Day: February 1st) and Beltaine (May 1st), depending on when the first signs of Spring are evident. This is also the Chinese New Year of the Yang Horse, which strongly calls in the energy and vitality of Spring. The Yang Horse embodies the element of fire, bringing warmth and energy to the land. Rooted in the inner vision and intuitive knowing the Wintertime brought us, the Yang Horse surges toward freedom, helping new growth to push up through the soil and reach into the light of day.

The light is lasting longer, the days are warming, people are coming out of doors, and nature is beginning to send forth new life. Following her rhythm, it’s time for us, too, to grow the new shoots of our lives, to allow the dreams to push up through the warming earth, to grow leaves, and move toward our own manifestation. Brighde, the Summer Queen, will soon return to tend our visions until they have fully ripened into maturity. What are you dreaming into new life? What shoots would you like to nurture, tend, and grow into manifestation this year? How would you like to answer Spring’s beckoning to move into fresh, new growth?

You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:

Light a candle, yellow or light green in color;
Place nearby a symbol of Winter’s dark dreamtime and a symbol of Spring’s fresh, new, forward-moving energy.
Get really comfortable and cozy, maybe even sipping a warm drink.
Sense / feel into your dreams, your visions for your life—the ones that arise deep inside the dark warmth of your own bodysoul. What in you wants to move from dream to manifestation, to grow and be expressed in the world this year? How can you commit to nurturing this growth?
Breathe each awareness in, receiving it, saying “yes” to each even if you don’t know how it will unfold.
When you are ready, say thank you and blow out the candle.

After the Spring Equinox, the days continue to grow longer, until at Summer Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest day. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Lent & Easter Singing Meditation. As we transition from Fall to Winter and continue our inward turning, I invite you to gather four more Friday evenings with me to deepen your Lenten and Easter journey with sacred chant and silent prayer/meditation. Learn and sing music from Hildegard of Bingen and from the Gaelic tradition. No prior singing experience necessary. Suggested donation $5-$10 per session.

Fridays, March 21st & 28th, April 4th & 25th, from 5:15 to 6:15 pm, at Our Lady of the Presentation Chapel atrium, 1890 Randolph Avenue, St. Paul

More Information: Jennifer Tacheny, jtacheny@csjstpaul.org (651) 696-2872, Hosted by the CSJ Membership and Association Offices (Celeste’s Dream, Consociate Services, and Sister Membership).

We are exploring interest in a Sacred Chant Choir that would come together regularly to sing various sacred chants. Please let me know if you would be interested in participating.

Intimacy Day Retreat with the Enneagram (and Yoga), Saturday, May 3rd. Dave and I aren’t teaching as much recently, so jump in to this Retreat if you’d like a taste of our Enneagram teaching. You can attend just the morning Intro or just the afternoon Couple’s Retreat, and add on a different date experience with your beloved by staying for Date Night Yoga!

Getting to know oneself is the first step toward living a full, connected, and satisfying life. And yet, oftentimes, this is the last place we want to pay attention. We will use the psychological and spiritual map of the Enneagram to guide us home to our deepest essential selves, to further our own self-understanding, and to work out our relationships with other people. Understanding our own and our loved one’s Enneagram types opens our eyes and heart to truly seeing ourselves and others with less judgment and allows for greater empathy, love, and authentic connection.

9:00-12:00: Personal Intimacy Workshop, $40/ individual, $70/couple. Deep relational intimacy is grounded in our ability to be truly intimate with ourselves and with our own experience. Spend the morning growing intimacy with yourself by exploring the Enneagram through guided experience, presentation, poetry, and music.

2:00-5:00: Personal Intimacy Workshop, $70/couple, $85/couple with Date Night Yoga. Join other couples to explore: 1) How the different Enneagram types experience their needs and desires within relationship; 2) How they typically communicate their needs and desires; 3) How to work together more lovingly and effectively around these sensitive issues. You will gain appreciation for the differences between you and your partner and begin to see them more clearly for who they really are.

5:00: Community Potluck or Dinner Out

7:00-8:30: Date Night Yoga, $15/couple with afternoon workshop

Held at The Yoga Sanctuary in Minneapolis (in the Solomon’s Porch Building). To register, contact Shelley.

What helps you develop intimacy with yourself and with others? How do you practice?

Nourishing Wholeness: I’m Studying to Practice as a Holistic Health & Wellness Coach and Way of the Happy Woman Teacher! This is why we’re not teaching much—it is a really big year of transition for me. I’m so excited to be studying with both The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and Sara Avant Stover’s Way of the Happy Woman Certification Program. Both of these programs are a result of finally finding a way to live into and offer my passion in the world!

All my life I have been playing with food and health and nourishment..I LOVE to cook and create fun, healthy, YUMMY food to nourish myself and others. I LOVE to mentor people and support them with practices to live more fulfilling and meaningful lives. I LOVE the process of becoming ever more deeply embodied in my own Feminine wisdom and not only living that in my own life, but supporting that journey for other women. And, of course, I LOVE the Enneagram as a beautiful map of the human soul and a perfect accompaniment for this process.

So, I’m spending a lot of time studying this year… If you’re interested in checking out my new Holistic Health & Wellness Coaching for women, I am practicing free 30-45 minute Health History sessions now. These can be done in person, via skype, or on the phone. A Health History session gives you a chance to take stock of and talk about your own health and well-being and to discover what your priorities and desires are. In April, I’ll be able to start working with clients at a discounted rate, and in September, I’ll graduate! My new website should be up in a month or two, too!

I started out as a participant in Sara’s online women’s circle, the Red Tent, in May of 2012, did personal mentoring with Sara, and then in May of 2013, I renewed my membership in exchange for being an Assistant Mentor in the group of Red Tent women. I also deepened my experience of this Sacred Feminine embodiment work by attending a weeklong SHE Retreat in Thailand in December of 2013, and now I am entering into the WOHW Certification Program from May through October. Once I’m certified, I’ll be offering workshops that feature Sara Avant Stover’s grounded, practical, and introspective Feminine embodiment work. Practices include living in alignment with the seasons and lunar cycles, yin yoga, meditation, nourishing foods, and more, and will be based on her beautiful book, The Way of the Happy Woman. Let me know if you’d like to hear more about this work in the future.

How are you nourishing your passion this year? What brings you more wholeness, more meaning, more fulfillment?

Fresh Spring Blessings, Katy

spacious passion

this is my intention for the 2014 New Year: Spacious Passion. in my life, i have often not allowed one or the other of these words, and certainly not both together, holding each other…

i have tended to get involved in too many things, leaving very little room for Spaciousness of any kind in my life—my thoughts full of too many things to do/plan/sort out, my feelings all mixed up or set aside in a closed box, and my body moving too quickly, living a too-structured and bounded life…

and Passion? on the outside it may look like i have been following my passion, but mostly i have lived my life not really in touch with my true passion, making attempts to follow it in small ways that feel better than nothing, but don’t completely resonate or awaken and enliven me. i think in some ways, that has felt safer…not having to give up something that’s supporting me to follow a deeper, more anarchic pull that is unknown and might not work out… i have used the energy of passion as fuel for focusing my attention on something. i’m actually really good at that, so good that i have been accused of being fanatic over the years…i’ve also channeled it into my Oneish* obligations—the shoulds, duties, responsibilities that i must take care of—so that my true desires (passion) are strangled, suffocated, and stuffed down. all the naturalness of this energy, all the power, all the fuel has been harnessed for being a “good” person.

Spacious:

spaciousness holds and allows all things—it is the container of openness within which all things arise
open space, lack of boundaries and structures and rules around my life
openness to BE any way that is arising in the moment, space/room for all of me, nothing too big
invitation to expand, to open, to be unbounded, unlimited in my expression, my attention, my life
Sacred Masculine quality that includes stillness, silence, vastness, unknownness

Passion:

life force energy that fuels, directs, and creates all life
a combination of the belly’s instinctual energy and the heart’s calling—heart-force
desire, “want life,” pleasure, heart-force, flame
leads/draws/invites us toward our dreams, towards what will fulfill and satisfy us deeply
Sacred Feminine energy of life surging/emerging/dancing into existence

Spacious Passion: putting the two together is where the magic resides! in 2014, this is about following my passion for health and wellbeing, for food and cooking, for embodiment and women’s work, for learning to deeply love my life, myself, my man, my friends, this world… and at the same time allowing each of these passions to unfold in their own way, staying open to the experience, not rushing or forcing or pushing to get anywhere i think i should be. the spaciousness and the passion support each other in an ever- balancing, sacred union.

The Collage. holding the phrase Spacious Passion in my bodysoul, i chose images that attracted me, and then laid them out to find deeper meaning. the colorful pictures all represent forms of passion necessary in my life—from passion for my spiritual practice in the Tibetan Goddess Tara, in the person with prayer hands, and in the robed Buddhist monk Pema Chodron, to the passion of the uninhibited, delighted and innocent Magickal Child, to the passion of owning and shaking my sexy booty, to the passion of loving and reaching for my dreams, to the passion of living my life with no time to lose…and there is open space holding the pictures—open vistas, black space—each picture has some contact with an unknown support and holding, with the void out of which all form arises—spaciousness. there is a great freedom to BE—no restraints, no constraints…the mystery of manifestation in so many forms, no one right form—child, sexy woman, prayer, practice, goddess, love…all necessary, all good, all unfolding…

another theme arose: there are many hands—hands, the extension of the heart, that can physically manifest passion in the world. Tara’s hands offering protection and receptivity, the woman reaching for her desires, the sexy woman flinging her hands out in devotion to the expression of her life- and heart-force, the Magickal Child holding lightly to her pinwheel of delight, Pema’s hand holding her robes, symbol of her devotion to awakening in her body, praying hands, acknowledging the True Nature in us all.

*Oneish refers to type One on the Enneagram, a psycho-spiritual map of the soul.

how does Spacious Passion express in your life? do you make room for it? how do you recognize it?

life practices: winter solstice 2013

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Winter Solstice occurs this year on December 21st at 11:11 am CT. This is the first day of Winter—the shortest day and longest night of the year. Every day thereafter, the days grow longer until Summer Solstice, when we have the longest day and the shortest night.

But first we have to make it through the Winter! Fall’s inward turning is the gateway to the deep surrender into Winter’s dark mystery. It can be a little confusing that we first have to make it through a bunch of celebrations—Thanksgiving at the end of Fall and then Christmas and New Year’s at the beginning of Winter, events that ask us to be more social and outer-directed—when nature is slowing down, releasing, and dropping her energy into the earth…

Nature herself can be a steady companion for this transition into Winter. Most trees are stripped naked, down to their skeletons, allowing their simplicity, their bare bones to be seen. Plants are dead or in deep dormancy. This is what we, too, are invited into. What would it be like to drop our external ways of knowing ourselves—the face we show to the world—and to simply be ourselves, with no frills, no airs, and nothing to hide? What if we allowed unnecessary parts of ourselves to die or go dormant? Underneath our smiles, our helpfulness, our good ideas, our appropriate clothes, who are we anyway? This inquiry is Winter’s invitation to dive deeper into the mysterious dark, the great unknown, “the dark hours of [our] being” (Rilke).

Here’s a starting place for a journal exploration, or a short ritual alone or with friends:

In the dark, naming this intention: “I am ready and willing to drop into the dark hours of my being.” With each breath in the dark, feel yourself rooting down, dropping your energy into the earth, like the dormant trees and plants, dropping into “the dark hours of [your] being.”
When you are ready, light a single candle. As you take that light in, feel back into your connection with the earth, with the fertile darkness of your being.
Name out loud or in your journal the parts of yourself you would like to drop, to allow to go dormant, to rest for awhile.
Then name out loud or in your journal who you might be without these self-images, behaviors, or activities. Who is resting in the dark hours of your being?
When you are done, acknowledge your gratefulness for this inward time of listening and being, and blow out the candle.

Please join us for the Winter Solstice Celebration on December 21st at 7:30 pm at Unity Church Unitarian in the Parish Hall. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Advent Singing Meditation. As we transition from Fall to Winter and continue our inward turning, I invite you to gather one more Friday evening with me to deepen your Advent journey with sacred chant and silent prayer/meditation. Learn and sing music from Hildegard of Bingen and from the Gaelic tradition. No prior singing experience necessary. Suggested donation $5-$10 per session.

Friday, December 20th, from 5:15-6:15 pm, at Our Lady of the Presentation Chapel atrium, 1890 Randolph Avenue, St. Paul

Singing Meditation will also be offered during the Easter season. More Information: Jennifer Tacheny, jtacheny@csjstpaul.org (651) 696-2872, Hosted by the CSJ Membership and Association Offices (Celeste’s Dream, Consociate Services, and Sister Membership).

Is music a part of your life? Try singing alone, with others, or even with a recording and then dissolving into silence. What do you notice?

Welcome Brigid—Mirabilis in Concert on St. Brigid’s Day, February 1st! In ancient Irish mythology, Brigid is the Celtic fire goddess representing the aspect of divine femininity. Her feast day, February 1st, celebrates the arrival of longer, warmer days and marks the start of Celtic Spring. Come celebrate with me and my singing partner, Amy Fradon, the early signs of returning spring!

We will perform original, Gaelic, and medieval chant and song that weaves Celtic ornamentation with haunting, mystical chant and prayer. Specializing in the music of Hildegard von Bingen, a capella and simply accompanied, Katy and Amy’s purity of tone and musical depth inspires and transports. Includes some participatory singing.

Community Potluck at 5:30; Concert at 7:00. Admission is $15, pay at the door. For more information, contact Carla at (763) 479-4396 or sundogfarmconcerts@gmail.com.

We will also be singing all three services at Unity Unitarian Church in St. Paul on Sunday, February 2nd, and may be offering a concert in the Twin Cities Friday, January 31st as well, TBA.

A few love notes from audience members: “Thank you for an incredible evening. You really have the ability and power to bless—truly bless people with love and spirit through your song, voice, and music.”

“Your angelic voices blended so well that I was in a special odyssey of sound. I love your spiritual Celtic melodic harmony of prayer ad gratitude to the Big Boss, whoever! May your work continue to lighten the hearts of many earthly souls.”

The Enneagram is one of the main maps of the soul Dave and I find helpful to understand the unfolding of our lives, individually and as a couple. It is an amazing system that helps us to see the deeper, purer roots of our behavior—how most of our less savory behaviors are simply misguided attempts to reconnect with a more loving, whole, and good self.

Dave and I are facilitating an Introduction to the Riso-Hudson Spiritual Enneagram on February 8th from 1:00-5:00 pm at The Well in St. Paul, and a Couple’s Retreat March 7th-9th at our favorite B&B, Journey Inn, in Maiden Rock, Wisconsin.

Introduction to the Riso-Hudson Spiritual Enneagram. Ever wonder why the types have the specific traits they do? Or why our traits can look so different when we are under stress? How come the types seem to want such different things from life? What can the Centers teach us about type? If you’re new to the Enneagram or just want to explore the Riso-Hudson Approach, join us for an afternoon overview of the types that emphasizes their spiritual roots and natural unfoldment. Includes teaching, exercises, music, and poetry. Fee: $75, with $10 off if first time at the Well, or if you bring a friend, or for early registration by 1/27/14. More information and register here.

Cultivating Deeper Contact: A Retreat/Workshop for Couples. Even in a relationship grounded in love and open communication, we often yearn for deeper contact with each other. The Enneagram illuminates many of the structures that stand in the way of such contact, as well as others that actually invite us toward a deeper contact with ourselves, each other, and the moment. Early registration (by January 15th) is $600 per couple, and after that, $650. For more information, see our calendar. We hope you can join us!

What maps of the soul do you find useful? Do you spend time with your soul, honoring his/her rhythms, thus learning to more deeply support your own psycho-spiritual growth?

A Poem for the Season: Before Jesus by Alla Renée Bozarth
Before Jesus
was his mother.

Before supper
in the upper room,
breakfast in the barn.

Before the Passover Feast,
a feeding trough.
And here, the altar
of Earth, fair linens
of hay and seed.

Before his cry,
her cry.
Before his sweat
of blood,
her bleeding
and tears.
Before his offering,
hers.

Before the breaking
of bread and death,
the breaking of her
body in birth.

Before the offering
of the cup,
the offering of her
breast.
Before his blood,
her blood.

And by her body and blood
alone, his body and blood
and whole human being.

The wise ones knelt
to hear the woman’s word
in wonder.

Holding up her sacred child,
her spark of God in the form of a babe,
she said:

“Receive and let
your hearts be healed
and your lives be filled
with love, for
This is my body,
This is my blood.”

Deep Winter Blessings, Katy

life practices: summer solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Summer Solstice reminds us to “celebrate and relish all of life’s pleasures by drinking them into every cell of our bodies.” (From Sara Avant Stover, The Way of the Happy Woman, p.135.) The daylight hours have been growing since Winter Solstice, each day becoming slightly longer until now, when seen from the North or South Poles, the sun reaches its highest position in the sky and appears to stand still (Latin “sol” or sun and “sistere” or to stand still). In 2013, the Summer Solstice occurs at 12:04 am CT on June 21st.

Especially with such a late Spring this year in Minnesota, the full return of Summer is a time for great celebration! We find ourselves invited out into the abundant, fertile, hot, and colorful magic of nature’s glorious embrace. Our senses on high, we can deeply nourish our cells, severely depleted from a long Winter and late Spring. We breathe in the many scents—of blooming flowers, rich earth, and barbecuing food. We taste the succulent, fresh fruits and vegetables, and cool, refreshing drinks of the season. We see the abundant forms of beauty all around us—in nature and in each other’s radiance. We hear the sounds of flourishing human and animal life. And we touch and are touched by the earth under our bare feet and hands, by the soft, warm air on our skin, and by our friends and lovers….Everything is blossoming into ripeness, coming into its fullest expression.

The challenge of Summertime is to really experience this magical plenitude, and not get caught up always chasing after more of this yummyness, thus missing out on the beauty and bounty that is right here. The last few lines of Mary Oliver’s poem When I Am Among the Trees remind us to land: “Around me the trees stir in their leaves / and call out, ‘Stay awhile.’ / The light flows from their branches. / And they call again, ‘It’s simple,’ they say, / ‘and you too have come into the world to do this, / to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.’”

Can we really take in Summer’s abundance, savoring each taste with all five senses, so that we fill up and revitalize our bodies and souls? Even in the midst of full celebration, can we truly receive and relish in Summer’s magic, passion, and glorious light? Perhaps then we, like the trees in Oliver’s poem can “go easy,” “be filled with light,” and shine.

You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
•    Sitting on the earth if possible, light a candle, red or orange in color.
•   Take a few deep breaths to land yourself in your body right here. Sense the earth beneath you, feel the air and warmth on your skin, take in the smells, sounds, and sights around you.
•   When you feel landed, look around you and find one thing that captivates your attention, in which you find beauty. Breathe this into your body, heart, and mind. Allow the beauty to touch you, to fill you, to affect you in whatever way.
•   Continue to breathe it in, savoring its essence, dropping any thoughts that arise, and allowing yourself to be filled with its light and to shine as long as you like.
•   When you feel complete, say thank you and blow out the candle.

Remember that as this day comes to an end, the days will very slowly become shorter, until at Autumn Equinox, the day and night will be balanced, and by Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. Savor and revel in the juicy passion of this Summer season! And local Minnesotans, please join us in a Summer Solstice Celebration at Unity Unitarian Church in St. Paul on June 21st at 7:00 pm. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. My collaging seems to have slowed down recently as I pour more creative energy into other projects, especially the garden, which is also a sort of collage, I guess! Primordial Being explores the Source—the life-force energy, the wisdom, the mystery, the beingness that informs and moves my life. Its depth, dark unknownness, and instinctual movement is something I often avoid, and yet, it is this very life force that channels through me and out into the the world.

I felt this collage wanting to take form and looked for quite a long time to find the image that might be able to express the vast, primordial beingness that I was sensing within, not knowing how it would take shape. That’s actually one of the things I love about collaging—entering into the unknown of what will come together to embody a deep yearning for expression an exploration…

How do you approach the unknown? Do you have practices that help you touch and explore it?

Celebrating & Savoring Pleasure: A Half-Day, Summer Women’s Retreat. Align yourself with the seasons, a Feminine form of spiritual practice. Summertime invites us to rejoice in our love of life in all its forms. Retreat-time helps us to slow down so that we can really savor and celebrate the pleasures of the season, thus connecting with our natural joy and gratitude. Listening to the wisdom of all three Centers—body, heart, and mind—we will engage in practices such as ritual, reflection, movement, laughter, and inquiry. No prior knowledge or experience is necessary.

Sunday, August 18th from 1:00 to 5:00 pm. For more information, see our calendar.

What do you do to help you slow down and savor your life? How do you build it into your life?

Laughter as a Happiness Practice! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, and I lead the Summit Hill Laughter Club, which meets two Wednesdays/month, June-September 2013 at St. Paul Yoga Center: 6/19, 7/3, 7/17, 8/7, 8/21, 9/4, 9/18 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required, donations for use of the space accepted. Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

How do you consciously bring more happiness and joy into your life?

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This picture and the above laughing picture are from a wedding I performed, and I facilitate the Seasonal Celebrations like Summer Solstice at Unity Unitarian Church.

On July 28th at 10:00 am I’ll be serving as Worship Leader for Unity Unitarian Church, offering a service entitled What’s Up With the Goddess? How does the resurgence of teachings focused on the Goddess have relevance for us today? As Sobonfu Somé clarifies, these are not “new age” teachings, but “ancient age” teachings. We will explore how the qualities and manifestations of the Goddess are necessary for living a balanced and whole life today.

Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services… You can read more about my practice of ministry.

Have you attended any celebrations or ceremonies recently? What about the ceremony touched you and invited you into a deeper place of contact with the sacred?

And you — what of your rushed
and useful life? Imagine setting it all down —
papers, plans, appointments, everything —
leaving only a note: “Gone
to the fields to be lovely. Be back
when I’m through with blooming.”
—excerpt from Lynn Ungar’s Camas Lilies

Joyful and Blooming Summer Blessings, Katy Taylor, Wholeness Mentor

Nourishing Wholeness — nourishing wholeness

life practices: spring equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Spring Equinox occurs midway between the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice, and the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night,” but in reality, the equality of day and night is only approximate and depends on your geographic location! In 2013, the Spring Equinox occurs at 6:02 am Central Time on March 20th.

Following on Winter’s long, cold, inward time, it is natural for us to be ready for the new life and new beginnings which Spring Equinox promises. Many cultures celebrate the Spring Equinox, which often has a connotation of beginning a new year or cycle, with celebrations such as Nowruz (Zoroastrians, Ba’hai and Persians) and Ostara (Celtic, Wiccan, and NeoPaganism). Here in Minnesota, we usually have to wait a little longer to see much physical evidence, but around this time, Winter’s grasp does begin to noticeably lessen as breezes begin to warm, snow melts more quickly, migrating birds begin to return, and early bulbs may even start poking up through the slowly warming earth.

Spring invites us to remember the natural rhythm of the seasons—it’s time, once again, to surge forth into fresh, new life, to open to a new cycle of growth, opportunity, and fortune. And yet, we can also keep in mind what the Equinox represents—just enough balance of day and night, dark and light. We can take a lesson from the plants that will soon emerge—even as the light beckons them to green again, their roots reach down into the dark, fertile earth for its support. Can we keep our feet firmly planted in the dark, ground of inner support that Wintertime has taught us while we reach into the excitement and possibility of Spring?

One common Springtime practice for opening to the newness and freshness is Spring cleaning. This can take many forms—cleaning and decluttering your home, your garden, your relationships, your soul…However you do it, I suggest it not be about banishing anything from your life, but instead about mindfully choosing life-affirming practices that could help you to live your life more fully. What could you choose to cleanse or enter into this Spring that will help you to open to new possibilities and growth? What will support your soul so that more of you can awaken to the possibility of new life? You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
•   Light a candle, yellow or light green in color;
•   Place a living plant near the candle and meditate on the balance of root support and outer growth needed for this plant to thrive, sensing your own internal rootedness.
•   When you are ready, breathe in one life-affirming quality or practice you might like to take on this Spring, and breathe out its opposite (don’t overthink this, whatever arises is fine). Do this for awhile until nothing new arises.
•   Sit quietly, breathing at your own pace, with the living flame of the candle and the living essence of the plant, breathing into your own living, growing soul.
•   When you are ready, say thank you and blow out the candle.

After the Spring Equinox, the days continue to grow longer, until at Summer Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest day. Please plan to join us for our Spring Equinox Celebration at Unity Unitarian Church in St. Paul this year on March 20th! May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. I have a collage waiting for me to write about, but it hasn’t been the right time, so that one will have to wait…This collage represents my New Year’s Intention of living more in Natural Presence. It is good to revisit now as I write this Spring Equinox blogpost—just seeing the image again reminds me of why I continue to do my practices. I practice out of devotion to my essence, my soul’s unfolding. I want to be more whole, more natural, more simply present and awake and alive. Collage is one of the practices that helps me to get in touch with this, along with many others I write about in this blog!

What practices do you take on from a place of inviting your soul’s individual unfolding? When do you feel simply present and alive?

Connected, Grounded, & Alive! A 4-week Women’s Practice Circle. Do you feel stressed by life and out of touch with your natural, feminine state of being? Join a group of women to practice connecting with our feminine essence more deeply. We’ll explore with movement and inquiry how to nourish and cultivate our connected, grounded, and alive life-force energy in order to feel happy, authentic, and whole!

No prior knowledge or experience is necessary. Starting this Sunday, March 17th! For more information, see our calendar.

How do you stay in touch with your body? How do you nourish your instinctual life?

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, and I offer a few different opportunities for laughing with a group. The Summit Hill Laughter Club meets two Wednesdays/month, April-June 2013 at St. Paul Yoga Center: 4/10, 4/24, 5/1, 5/15, 6/5, 6/19 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required, donations for use of the space accepted. I also offer a for-fee Noontime Laughter Class two Mondays/month at Tula Yoga & Wellness: 3/25, 4/8, 4/29, 5/6, 5/20, $10-$15 suggested donation, drop-in, 12:00-12:50 pm. Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

How do you consciously bring more happiness and joy into your life?

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed, and I facilitate the Seasonal Celebrations like Spring Equinox at my Unitarian Church. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services… You can read more about my practice of ministry.

What have you celebrated recently? How did you create sacred space to welcome or honor a life passage?

The Enneagram. Dave and I just finished facilitating a couple’s retreat using the Enneagram at our favorite B&B, Journey Inn, in Maiden Rock, Wisconsin. It was a beautiful, sweet, and intimacy-building experience for everyone. Our next offering will be our Deepening Practice Study Group focused on The Enneagram & Childhood Development: Healing the Past & Attaining Wholeness. In this highly experiential workshop, we will use Margaret Mahler’s model of sequential stages of psychological growth to explore how the different phases in our early childhood development (from birth into our fourth year) leave distinctive imprints on each of the nine types. For more information, see our calendar. We hope you can join us!

How do you gain insight on the unfolding and inner workings of your soul? What maps or tools work for you to access your innermost self?

Awakening Spring Blessings, Katy

life practices: winter solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Winter Solstice occurs this year on December 21st at 5:12 am CT, the earliest arrival of Winter since 1896 according to The Farmer’s Almanac! This is the first day of Winter—the shortest day and longest night of the year. Every day thereafter, the days grow longer until Summer Solstice, when we have the longest day and the shortest night. The ancient Mayan calendar marks Winter Solstice 2012 as the end of the 13th 144,000-day cycle, completing a full 5,200-year Mayan cycle of creation. While many fear that something may threaten our world at the end of this creation cycle, astronomers are not concerned.

Whether we face actual physical challenges or more internal ones, Wintertime is the time to pay attention to how we are doing on the inside. It is the time to crawl into the cave of ourselves and give extra attention to our physical and psycho-spiritual wellbeing. Just like the mama bear who hibernates, we need to prepare our cave so that we have the support we need to go into the mysterious dreamtime of connecting deeply with ourselves. We prepare by making space for all of ourselves—all thoughts, feelings, or physical suffering—we accept and allow whatever arises, meeting it with loving kindness.

Winter is the season to learn to yield, to surrender to your own truth, however painful, to listen carefully, and to take time to integrate your experience. It’s a slower time, a resting time, a staying-with time. Yielding to your own process means slowing down enough to make contact with what you are experiencing, what is moving you on the inside. Is there a practice you can commit to that will support you in this endeavor? It could be as simple as a few minutes of meditation, taking breathing breaks, sharing your heart with a close friend, or writing in your journal…How will you support your inward journey this Winter so that you may emerge renewed and refreshed in the Spring?

Here’s a starting place for a journal exploration, or a short ritual alone or with friends:
•   Begin in the dark, saying this chant 3-5 times: deep is the darkness, with no light at all, before and behind, and to either side*. Feel the rhythm of the chant drawing you inside, into the still, silent darkness. See if you can yield into the chant and the darkness. What does that feel like?
•   When you are ready, light a single candle. Breathe that light in, noticing everything you can about how it affects you and the space around you.
•   Name out loud or in your journal how you will support yourself in this time of inward turning.
•   Name out loud or in your journal anything you want to explore in yourself more deeply during the enfolding darkness.
•   Acknowledge your gratefulness for this inward time of listening and being, and blow out the candle.

Please join us for the Winter Solstice Celebration on December 21st at 7:00 pm at Unity Church Unitarian in the Parish Hall. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.
(* from Stephen Mitchell’s Gilgamesh)

Collage as a Practice. I haven’t been collaging in the last few months—it’s interesting how this practice comes and goes for me. I have an old wooden card table set up in my little room surrounded by shelves of magazines divided by type, ribbons, beads, jewelry, pens, wax pencils, glue, and other fun things to collage with. It’s welcoming and ready for me, but my energy has been going elsewhere. I know I’ll come back when it’s time as collaging is one of the practices that helps me remember who I am, to illuminate the threads I am following and weaving in my life.

This collage is one I completed in honor of my middle name change and 50th birthday—Changing Woman.

What practice help you to remember yourself? How do you weave the threads of your life together?

Friday, December 14th, from 7:00 to 8:00 pm, at Our Lady of the Presentation Chapel atrium, 1890 Randolph Avenue, St. Paul

More Information: Jennifer Tacheny, jtacheny@csjstpaul.org (651) 696-2872, Hosted by the CSJ Membership and Association Offices (Celeste’s Dream, Consociate Services, and Sister Membership).

Is music a part of your life? Try singing alone, with others, or even with a recording and then dissolving into silence. What do you notice?

Summit Hill Laughter Club! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects. Children who come with their parents are welcome.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, offering a club every 2 weeks this Fall at the Corner Studio of St. Paul Yoga Center at 1162 Selby Avenue. Please join us on Wednesday December 19th, and in the New Year, 1st and 3rd Wednesdays January through March from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required and no fixed cost, just by donation! Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed, and I facilitate the Winter Solstice Celebration mentioned above. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services… You can read more about my practice of ministry.

The Enneagram is one of the main maps of the soul I find helpful to understand the unfolding of my life. It is an amazing system that helps me to see the deeper, purer roots of my behavior—how most of my less savory behaviors are simply misguided attempts to reconnect with a more loving, whole, and good self.

Dave and I are facilitating a couple’s retreat using the Enneagram in early March at our favorite B&B, Journey Inn, in Maiden Rock, Wisconsin. It’s called Cultivating Deeper Contact and is about just that! Even in a relationship grounded in love and open communication, we often yearn for deeper contact with each other. The Enneagram illuminates many of the structures that stand in the way of such contact, as well as others that actually invite us toward a deeper contact with ourselves, each other, and the moment. Early registration (by January 1st) is $550 per couple, and after that, $600. For more information, see our calendar. We hope you can join us!

Deep Winter Blessings, Katy

Changing Woman

for this past Moon Cycle, i chose the Goddess Card, Changing Woman. i then also chose Changing Woman for my middle name change on September 19th, and i drew her again on my 50th birthday for this personal new year! i’m guessing i have something to learn about flexibility, flow, and shape-shifting…

she is the self-renewing one
honoring each unique path
she nurtures wholeness
honoring our cycles
she flows freely with life
honoring all expressions
she is Changing Woman

i’m excited about living more deeply into what i have been learning,
to gathering the many beautiful experiences and gifts into a bouquet,
to moving more freely and with more grace and wholeness
into the next part of my life.

how does Changing Woman speak to you? what does she call forth?

ancestors

my ancestors surround me
like walls of a canyon
quiet
stone hard
their ideas drift over me
like breezes at sunset

we gather sticks
and make settlements
what we do is only partly
our own
and partly continuation
down through the chromosomes

my daughter
my baby sleeps behind me
stirring in the night
for the touch
that lets her continue

she is arranging
in her small form the furniture
and windows of her home

it will be a lot like mine
it will be a lot like theirs

– “Ancestors” poem by Harvey Ellis (edited to be a female baby)

I’ve been working with a book called The Path of Practice by Bri. Maya Tiwari to help myself align more to the natural rhythms of myself as a woman, connected to the earth and moon, to the seasons, and to the cosmos. One of the practices Tiwari recommends is to explore your ancestral heritage and learn about yourself and your relationship to those who went before. Since I feel most connected to my matrilineal line, I thought I would start there, with my mom’s mom, “Gammy.”

There are some interesting synchronicities that lead to a deeper exploration of this material now. My husband’s mom just passed away, and as an Interfaith Minister, I offered to help them put a Memorial Service together. I started with my Minister’s Manual and the Memorial Service I wrote as part of my seminary training, and found the service I had written for Gammy! It brought back many memories just as I was reading Tiwari’s book. As I was reading and making notes for myself, I remembered that not only did I have this collage, but also a beautiful photo album filled with stories about Gammy’s life that mom had given me for a recent birthday, almost as if I had been being prepared for this exploration.

* * *

I grew up hearing that I resembled my mom’s side of the family, and my sister resembled my dad’s. I never minded resembling the Tuck side in looks, as I always thought mom was pretty, but I wasn’t so sure I wanted to carry forth the opinionated and intense—some would say fanatic—energy that Gammy embodied. Turns out mom later found out that she was the wild, extreme one in her family, a role that then passed down to me in the matrilineal lineage…

As the collage portrays, Gammy’s bloodline included some percentage Native American (Cherokee or maybe Sioux), so I may have as much as 1/16 Native American blood in me, or much less…no-one seems to know for sure how far back that union took place. I like the idea of having some heritage that is much more deeply connected to the earth and her rhythms than the culture I grew up in. I like to think that connection is guiding me on this exploration as I deepen my awareness of my place within the natural rhythms of the earth.

As I reflect on the relationship between Gammy, mom and me, I see the many similarities as well as the ways my individual soul may be trying to bring my matrilineal line back into balance.

* * *

I come from a line of women who love to eat sweet things—Gammy ate so many that she ended up with diabetes in her old age, I had a binge eating disorder for many years, and mom has always tried to be careful not to overeat sweets. I remember how surprised I was to find out that mom and I both had the same taboo sweet treat: Oreos! Nowadays, sweet food isn’t calling me as much, but it makes me wonder what ancestral pattern was carried through to me that made us need to try to find the sweetness of life through treats instead of in our daily living?

What occurs immediately is the legacy I carry of being overly busy—until recently, too busy to savor and enjoy my life, which is where I am now finding that sweetness in abundance. This is a problem mom has complained about for years, commenting that I follow in her footsteps. Having learned more about Gammy’s life with nine children on a farm during the Great Depression, with very few amenities, I realize that she, too, must have been very busy.

However, Gammy was also known for indulging in pleasure, something I am still learning to embrace! Mom says she belonged to five book clubs, spending their sparse money on that instead of a flush toilet! She was also always willing to stop what she was doing and have fun. She never passed up a chance to turn a jump rope for any one of her nine kids, and she enjoyed jokes, and laughed, and really enjoyed her life. The best story I remember was when a bunch of the kids were home for Thanksgiving dinner with their friends. One of the boys asked Gammy to pass the butter and she picked it up and tossed it down the table!! The kids were pretty shocked, but all went on as normal, catching the butter, and not saying anything!

Gammy was also ahead of her time in her thinking about sex. She felt women had the right to be pleasured and in the mood before having sex with their husbands, and I imagine she practiced this, too! I also remember mom telling me that sex between two people who love each other is a beautiful and loving connection. I’m afraid my personality type combined with my teenage years of born-again Christianity got in the way of inheriting such an easy-going, forthright approach!

Gammy also felt the pull for deeper meaning through spirituality as I do. She spoke of past-lives and had an interesting theory about the soul that is actually very similar to the Diamond Approach path I follow. She felt the soul was like a many-faceted lantern, and each facet was a window into another person. She felt this explained why we feel connected to some people as soon as we meet them, as we are sharing the same soul. In the Diamond Approach each individual soul is the part of True Nature / God / Truth / the Divine embodied in a human being. And the diamond metaphor also feels related, as the diamond represents the many different facets of True Nature (Love, Joy, Will, etc.), some of which we have easier access to than others. Gammy believed that when she died, she was going to a good place and would be reincarnated—she even viewed death as another exciting part of life to learn about and enjoy!

Like mom and me, Gammy also loved beauty. She’d cry seeing a beautiful sunset and loved the fog lying low in the valleys. She also sketched, painted, and wrote whimsical poetry that celebrated her love and enjoyment of life. Beauty is imperative in my life—from the gardens, to collage and poetry, to music and singing, to color, texture, and the way a room is laid out—beauty soothes, delights, guides, and nourishes me.

We also share a love of dogs. Gammy had many—chihuahuas, dachshunds, st. bernards, and all manner of terriers! My life, thankfully, has been blessed by the sweet companionship of dogs, too—from Heidi the dachshund when I was a baby to Moppet the cocker-poo, to Bart the airedale terrier to Jake, Gammy’s toy poodle/terrier mix, to my own dogs Finnegan, a lab mix, and Teddybear, a lhasa apso, and many other dog friends in between!

Poverty has also influenced my life through Gammy, even though I have been lucky enough not to have to live through it myself. Having nine children, whose births overlapped the Great Depression, Gammy knew how to make ends meet through such practices as scraping out the last of the eggwhite from the shell and carefully using all left-overs. Mom was careful, too, passing this along to me. I can’t stand to waste food, always using a rubber spatula to get the last bit out, trying to get the most out of any meal, avoiding expensive items, and not wasting left-overs…

I wonder about my jaw—I have Gammy’s jaw, as does mom—the wide, square look of Native American ancestry. And this is also a key place that I hold tension. Is this related to unprocessed ancestral linkages? I wonder if I incarnated as an Enneagram type One to balance out mom and Gammy as Sevens. In Gammy, the Seven energy expressed as imbalanced pleasure-seeking, playing and joking around, as well as being outspoken, uninhibited, and crass at times. In mom, while there’s always a willingness to play and experiment and follow her curiosity, it’s more a matter of having her fingers in too many pots, not wanting to miss out on anything, being overly busy, and not able to rest.

Being a rigid, constricted, nothing-is-ever-right type One, has not been a very fun or relaxing way to live! So now my task is to learn to balance this One-Seven energy. Can I be responsible, conscientious and orderly, playful and happy, and enjoy my life all at the same time? It’s about sacred balance—perhaps my role is to find this, not just for myself, but for the ancestral lineage. To learn not to reject pleasure and the desire to take in and experience life, but to balance it with discernment, devotion, and right action. As Br. Stendl Rast says: to be “playfully serious and seriously playful,” enjoying a life-affirming life.

I see how my involvement in Laughter Yoga is related to this attempt to find balance! After experiencing a period of openness to Joy last year, I felt drawn to try Laughter Yoga. I’ve never been much of a laugher as an adult, being a rather serious and disciplined person. I did laugh socially, but not so much pure laughter just for the enjoyment of it, so Laughter Yoga was a stretch. I found I had so much fun being silly and playing and inviting a younger, less-inhibited, less self-conscious part of me to show up, that I decided to become a Laughter Yoga leader and create a club in St. Paul! This practice is about opening up to play, pleasure, and lightness, and breaking up my Oneish patterns of being serious, disciplined, and rigid, and I see now how it’s also about allowing access to my ancestral heritage through Gammy!

And this last few months of learning to rest, savor, and relax are also related to breaking up this pattern. More and more, I find pleasure in not doing anything, in simply being with myself, in seeing the beauty around me, in appreciating life. I feel so much gratefulness for this shift in my orientation—again, imbibing the lessons of my ancestry and my line of growth in the healthier side of type Seven.

I have decided to take a new middle name to represent this heritage. Mom originally wanted to name me after Gammy’s younger sister, Khyva, but my more conventional dad nixed naming me Kimberly Khyva Taylor (Katy is my nickname). It’s too bad as it would have been very appropriate! Khyva was a performing violin player, and I have been the only one in the extended Tuck clan to actively pursue music through singing professionally. Another interesting connection is that during my seminary training, when we did a meditation on taking a spiritual name, I received the name [kiva]. Researching the meaning of the word, I found that a kiva is an underground room used for spiritual ceremonies by certain Native American tribes. I was unwittingly connecting not only to my matrilineal, but also to my Native American, heritage, in this name! It is also amazingly synchronous to be connected with this now when we are learning about the Citadel in our Diamond Approach Work. The Citadel is experienced as a solid, stone-like structure that supports and provides shelter on the Path as we learn to live in alignment with our current realization of the Truth. I never felt connected to or liked my middle name, Kay—now I know why!

This exploration helps me to understand more deeply that I am not just Kimberly, aka Katy, Taylor, an individual doing her spiritual work. I am also part of this genetic and psycho-spiritual lineage. Who I am now continues to be informed and guided by those who have gone before me. I can learn from this heritage that lives on through me. I can embrace the gifts of my ancestors and find balance in the way I embody this lineage in the world. By incorporating Khyva’s name into my own, I more formally link myself to my matrilineal line. In so doing, I feel more connected to the earth-boundedness of being a human, born of a mother who was born of a mother…as part of this earth. I, too, am part of this rhythm of birth and life and death, intimately intertwined with those who have gone before and will come after me.

When I finished this collage on Thanksgiving Day 2009, it inspired me to also finish the collage in which I was exploring my pain around not having my own child. I saw the relationship very clearly—in not having my own child, I don’t get to continue my bloodline. What came before and created me will not get passed down by me through my physical flesh and blood. It will have to be in some other form. I hope that I can be a psycho-spiritual ancestor for some other woman as she discovers her connection to herself and the earth.

***

How do you see yourself connected to your ancestors? Are you aware of the heritage your life is carrying forward and / or trying to heal?

Do you have NNGFT? How do you bring more pleasure and fun into your life?

Do you have NNGFT?
How do you bring more pleasure and fun into your life?