i’ve been so busy recently that i keep finding myself thinking over and over, i don’t have time…for talking to friends, to lie down and take a rest, to try a new recipe, to blog, to sit quietly with my man…but thinking about my life that way doesn’t help me to live in my life now. it’s a story that makes it hard to live now.
right now i can smell the onions i’m caramelizing in the crockpot–that’s a new fun kitchen adventure! right now, i notice my jaw is tight and i am sitting in my cozy nook with a heating pad, surrounded by books and projects and flowers. the christmas cactus has been blooming for about a week now and it’s gorgeous! dusk is falling. i sense myself here, embodied, here, right now. right now there is time. time is now.
and this weekend, being more aware of the moment, of now, i have enjoyed the kitchen bounty–the tomatoes i harvested green from the garden last month are ripening, i just picked the last of the chard out from under the snow, and there’s still lots of kale. i don’t have to do anything more right now. right now i am writing this and that is all i need to pay attention to. my fingers on the keypad, still tension in my jaw, my body settled, supported. here, now. here, now. herenowherenowhwerenowherenow. here now.
so, here’s what’s cooking in the crockpot: carmelized onions (just chop them up and put them in with some butter, salt, and pepper. mine have been cooking about 2.5 hours on high and they are getting there.). and i just threw some of that garden chard in, chopped up to finish cooking wtih the onions. i’m planning to make a tomato tart with the onion/chard on the bottom and slices of fresh tomatos with feta, perhaps cheese on the top. but that’s later. right now, i’m here, typing, munching on cheese curds and crackers.
where are you now? are you here? what is the texture of your here now?
bye now, katy
Nourishing Wholeness 
Katy,
I have always thought when people talk about not having enough time if they looked at it as we all have the same amount of time we all just have different priorities in that space.
If it truly is a priority time will be taken for whatever it is. Have you ever noticed when someone becomes ill or dies all those other “priorities” get put on the back burner so are they really all that important anyway? Make yourself and your quiet time a true priority and the “time” will be there. Make this a great day!!!!!!!!!!!! Sue Moss
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it’s true, sue! but when i get too many things on my plate, it’s hard to feel like i can choose the one i want vs. the one that has to get done–for example writing the workshop instead of doing a collage or gardening or cooking…it’s a big challenge for my type in particular…feeling obligated…
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Dear Katy,
How perfect, my exact struggle this morning. I sat in front of my Buddha this morning, in meditation, sitting with Keith Jarrett’s music and my green tea. My mind did not want to be there with me; sometimes it does not. I stopped fighting it; let it go off and wander, come back to where I am whenever it does. This morning it was really like a difficult child; would not stay put: I must do this and think about that. But it made me even more aware of, just time, in those moments where I did come back and realized, No, I “don’t” have to do anything in this moment but sit here. I am relearning this, and making space for this timeless time every morning that I can do it.
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sounds lovely, miles! making time is all we can sometimes and invite the mind, body, and heart to settle in with us right now. and right now. and right now…
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