Take a moment right now and sense your body.
When you sense your body, what arises?
Perhaps it’s “I feel fat.”
Or “Ugh—feeling gross.”
Or “I don’t sense anything.”
Or “Ouch, that hurts.”
What’s your version?
Most often, the women I work with sense their body and judge her. (Yes, if you’re a woman, your body is a “she”! Please make the appropriate substitutions if you’re a man.)
She is never quite right—too fat, too thin, not fit, not comfortable, not satisfied, too hungry, craving unhealthy food…she is just plain wrong.
How do you think your body feels with all this judgment?
Here’s a hint: When you feel judged, how do you feel? Hurt. Sad. Angry. Confused. (And probably more…)
Your body is you. She is intimately intertwined with your soul, part of what I call your bodysoul. When you judge her, you are judging you.
Would you judge your girlfriends this way? Probably not.
Imagine living with an intimate partner—your body is about as intimate as it gets!—and all you ever hear is about how messed up you are, over and over again.
Would you feel good, happy, resilient, vital? Your body doesn’t either.
In fact, in these conditions of persecution, she is kind of like a refugee. She can’t really leave very easily, but she can check out. Perhaps you don’t sense or feel very much because she’s in hiding. Or perhaps she’s trying to escape, on hyper-alert, running on stress, but unable to go anywhere, causing you to feel anxious, upset, frazzled…
If she’s checked out or on high alert, she won’t be comfortable, and she won’t be able to focus, find well-being, make nourishing choices, or make changes easily.
Just like your friend, she doesn’t want to be shamed or coerced into change. She wants to be accepted as she is. Loved as she is. Understood as she is. Then, perhaps, she could easily make nourishing choices, or consider making some changes for her well being.
What would it take to welcome her home?
Imagine your body as a place of grounding, grace, and gratitude. Imagine feeling her support, her love, her exquisite attunement to your needs. YES! This is possible.
What if you could find refuge in your body instead of forcing her to be a refugee? Sense that in your bodysoul.
If you would like support welcoming your body home, I’d love to offer you a free Nourishing Wholeness Discovery Session, and to practice with you during my Way of the Happy Woman® Autumn Self-Care Mini-Retreat.
4 thoughts on “Your Body–Refuge? or Refugee?”
I like your play of the words refuge and refugee. When there is discomfort in my body, I find that I run for refuge in my soul and my mind, but, as you say, body and soul are intertwined.
Thanks, Mario. I continue to practice so that I don’t do that, too. It’s a different way of being with ourselves, of including yourselves.
I like how you use Refuge and Refugee in your blog. I never looked at it as if I was hating her. I need to start loving her again and accepting her there way she is so that I can go to where she needs to be, healthy and happy within her soul.
Yes–that is they key. Befriending ourselves, getting into loving relationship with ourselves!