This is the 1st of a 3-part series. Read the 2nd here.
The F-Word.
As a born-again Christian (and an Enneagram type One), this word was totally off limits. It was a BAD word. Only BAD people used it.
And I, of course, did not want to be BAD.
I was working really hard to be GOOD, with a Capital G.
But the F-Word held a certain power, a mystique, a “je ne sais quoi.”
After that teenage phase of my life, it slowly found its way into my expression, for better or for worse.
These days, I’m much more interested in the other F-Word.
I bet you know it, but maybe not by this moniker, which I learned from Gabrielle Bernstein.
It actually has many similarities to that first F-Word I mentioned–
It holds great power…
- To open new pathways in our being,
- To affect relationships between people,
- To make a huge impact on communities, our culture, and the world.
Its mystique is well-chronicled…
- Demons lose their power,
- Stuckness mysteriously disappears,
- The heart unfolds.
So, what is this F-Word?
Maybe you have guessed it by now?
Forgiveness
I know, it’s a doozy!
We’ll break it down little by little in this series of blogposts, but for now, let’s end with this:
For-Give, Etymology:
- from Old English: for + gifan = to give
- from Old German: vergeben
- from perdonare, Latin = to give completely without reservation.
To give completely without reservation
Without losing yourself–
- Without giving up,
- Without giving in,
- Without giving over,
- Without compromising your values,
- Without condoning what was done to you or by you.
This requires a soft and open heart, mind, body, and soul.
Read the 2nd of this 3-part series.
And in the meantime, I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts thus far!
Nourishing Wholeness 
Katy,
So wish I could hear you speak in person on this topic. But I will be out of town at a memorial that weekend, so will look forward to the blogs. I’m intrigued by how we cultivate a soft and open heat, mind, body, soul in these times.
Jan Marie
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too bad, Jan Marie! this has been a difficult, humbling, and ongoing exploration…keeping soft and open is a lifelong practice. Love to you!
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So wish I could hear you in person. Maybe some day there will be a podcast 🙂 Until then, I will eagerly read the blog posts. This is a topic I sure can use some TLC with. Thanks.
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It would be awesome to have you live close enough to be in person, Kimberly! And there will be a recording, which i will post once i have it. 🙂
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LOVE this.
I have found forgiveness–for the big stuff–to be a spiral. There can be more than one round of it–not necessarily because one did not forgive before, but sometimes because one drills down to a deeper level, or learns more and can forgive “better.”
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yes, yes, yes! as we heal, we are able to see more, understand more, forgive more. 🙂
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There is also that OTHER F-word: Forget. There’s a reason “forgive and forget” are paired in cliche.
What I mean is not amnesia or denial. It’s letting go to the point of not thinking about it unless it is brought up–“Yeah, that happened.” [Shrug]–and even then feeling no attachment.
The person who wronged me isn’t hurting me anymore, and cannot–because they are no longer in my head, and I am no longer attached to an outcome or and no longer even feel a connection. To me, that’s the REAL power.
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i know exactly what you mean! that’s where my process is taking me, and i am so grateful!
the phrase “forgive and forget” makes it sound so easy, when in reality, this particular process has taken a good and challenging year. but it’s been SO worth it for the resulting freedom.
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