personality – Page 4 – Nourishing Wholeness

life practices: winter solstice 2013

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Winter Solstice occurs this year on December 21st at 11:11 am CT. This is the first day of Winter—the shortest day and longest night of the year. Every day thereafter, the days grow longer until Summer Solstice, when we have the longest day and the shortest night.

But first we have to make it through the Winter! Fall’s inward turning is the gateway to the deep surrender into Winter’s dark mystery. It can be a little confusing that we first have to make it through a bunch of celebrations—Thanksgiving at the end of Fall and then Christmas and New Year’s at the beginning of Winter, events that ask us to be more social and outer-directed—when nature is slowing down, releasing, and dropping her energy into the earth…

Nature herself can be a steady companion for this transition into Winter. Most trees are stripped naked, down to their skeletons, allowing their simplicity, their bare bones to be seen. Plants are dead or in deep dormancy. This is what we, too, are invited into. What would it be like to drop our external ways of knowing ourselves—the face we show to the world—and to simply be ourselves, with no frills, no airs, and nothing to hide? What if we allowed unnecessary parts of ourselves to die or go dormant? Underneath our smiles, our helpfulness, our good ideas, our appropriate clothes, who are we anyway? This inquiry is Winter’s invitation to dive deeper into the mysterious dark, the great unknown, “the dark hours of [our] being” (Rilke).

Here’s a starting place for a journal exploration, or a short ritual alone or with friends:

In the dark, naming this intention: “I am ready and willing to drop into the dark hours of my being.” With each breath in the dark, feel yourself rooting down, dropping your energy into the earth, like the dormant trees and plants, dropping into “the dark hours of [your] being.”
When you are ready, light a single candle. As you take that light in, feel back into your connection with the earth, with the fertile darkness of your being.
Name out loud or in your journal the parts of yourself you would like to drop, to allow to go dormant, to rest for awhile.
Then name out loud or in your journal who you might be without these self-images, behaviors, or activities. Who is resting in the dark hours of your being?
When you are done, acknowledge your gratefulness for this inward time of listening and being, and blow out the candle.

Please join us for the Winter Solstice Celebration on December 21st at 7:30 pm at Unity Church Unitarian in the Parish Hall. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Advent Singing Meditation. As we transition from Fall to Winter and continue our inward turning, I invite you to gather one more Friday evening with me to deepen your Advent journey with sacred chant and silent prayer/meditation. Learn and sing music from Hildegard of Bingen and from the Gaelic tradition. No prior singing experience necessary. Suggested donation $5-$10 per session.

Friday, December 20th, from 5:15-6:15 pm, at Our Lady of the Presentation Chapel atrium, 1890 Randolph Avenue, St. Paul

Singing Meditation will also be offered during the Easter season. More Information: Jennifer Tacheny, jtacheny@csjstpaul.org (651) 696-2872, Hosted by the CSJ Membership and Association Offices (Celeste’s Dream, Consociate Services, and Sister Membership).

Is music a part of your life? Try singing alone, with others, or even with a recording and then dissolving into silence. What do you notice?

Welcome Brigid—Mirabilis in Concert on St. Brigid’s Day, February 1st! In ancient Irish mythology, Brigid is the Celtic fire goddess representing the aspect of divine femininity. Her feast day, February 1st, celebrates the arrival of longer, warmer days and marks the start of Celtic Spring. Come celebrate with me and my singing partner, Amy Fradon, the early signs of returning spring!

We will perform original, Gaelic, and medieval chant and song that weaves Celtic ornamentation with haunting, mystical chant and prayer. Specializing in the music of Hildegard von Bingen, a capella and simply accompanied, Katy and Amy’s purity of tone and musical depth inspires and transports. Includes some participatory singing.

Community Potluck at 5:30; Concert at 7:00. Admission is $15, pay at the door. For more information, contact Carla at (763) 479-4396 or sundogfarmconcerts@gmail.com.

We will also be singing all three services at Unity Unitarian Church in St. Paul on Sunday, February 2nd, and may be offering a concert in the Twin Cities Friday, January 31st as well, TBA.

A few love notes from audience members: “Thank you for an incredible evening. You really have the ability and power to bless—truly bless people with love and spirit through your song, voice, and music.”

“Your angelic voices blended so well that I was in a special odyssey of sound. I love your spiritual Celtic melodic harmony of prayer ad gratitude to the Big Boss, whoever! May your work continue to lighten the hearts of many earthly souls.”

The Enneagram is one of the main maps of the soul Dave and I find helpful to understand the unfolding of our lives, individually and as a couple. It is an amazing system that helps us to see the deeper, purer roots of our behavior—how most of our less savory behaviors are simply misguided attempts to reconnect with a more loving, whole, and good self.

Dave and I are facilitating an Introduction to the Riso-Hudson Spiritual Enneagram on February 8th from 1:00-5:00 pm at The Well in St. Paul, and a Couple’s Retreat March 7th-9th at our favorite B&B, Journey Inn, in Maiden Rock, Wisconsin.

Introduction to the Riso-Hudson Spiritual Enneagram. Ever wonder why the types have the specific traits they do? Or why our traits can look so different when we are under stress? How come the types seem to want such different things from life? What can the Centers teach us about type? If you’re new to the Enneagram or just want to explore the Riso-Hudson Approach, join us for an afternoon overview of the types that emphasizes their spiritual roots and natural unfoldment. Includes teaching, exercises, music, and poetry. Fee: $75, with $10 off if first time at the Well, or if you bring a friend, or for early registration by 1/27/14. More information and register here.

Cultivating Deeper Contact: A Retreat/Workshop for Couples. Even in a relationship grounded in love and open communication, we often yearn for deeper contact with each other. The Enneagram illuminates many of the structures that stand in the way of such contact, as well as others that actually invite us toward a deeper contact with ourselves, each other, and the moment. Early registration (by January 15th) is $600 per couple, and after that, $650. For more information, see our calendar. We hope you can join us!

What maps of the soul do you find useful? Do you spend time with your soul, honoring his/her rhythms, thus learning to more deeply support your own psycho-spiritual growth?

A Poem for the Season: Before Jesus by Alla Renée Bozarth
Before Jesus
was his mother.

Before supper
in the upper room,
breakfast in the barn.

Before the Passover Feast,
a feeding trough.
And here, the altar
of Earth, fair linens
of hay and seed.

Before his cry,
her cry.
Before his sweat
of blood,
her bleeding
and tears.
Before his offering,
hers.

Before the breaking
of bread and death,
the breaking of her
body in birth.

Before the offering
of the cup,
the offering of her
breast.
Before his blood,
her blood.

And by her body and blood
alone, his body and blood
and whole human being.

The wise ones knelt
to hear the woman’s word
in wonder.

Holding up her sacred child,
her spark of God in the form of a babe,
she said:

“Receive and let
your hearts be healed
and your lives be filled
with love, for
This is my body,
This is my blood.”

Deep Winter Blessings, Katy

life practices: autumn equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Autumn Equinox occurs midway between the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice, and the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night,” but in reality, the equality of day and night is only approximate. In 2013, the Autumn Equinox occurs at 3:44 pm CT on September 22nd.

Autumn Equinox marks the noticeable giving way of the full, abundant light and energy of Summer to a slower, simpler season. We have much to celebrate with the harvest that Summer has produced—dreams and projects have been accomplished, blossoming flowers, bushes, and trees have nourished us with their beauty, and life has grown fuller and more verdant, bearing fruit. Now is the time to gather in and take stock of our harvest. What flourished and what failed? What bore fruit and what did not? What can we celebrate and what needs to be reassessed? And most of all, can we give way to things being exactly as they are?

Writer Edward Hays, in his prayer to Autumn, says “As a child of my culture, I am seldom truly at peace with what I have. Teach me to take stock of what I have given and received, may I know that it’s enough, that my striving can cease …” As we take stock of our harvest and prepare for the slower, more inward time of Winter, can we be at peace with what we have? At peace with our efforts and their outcome, even if it’s not quite what we had hoped? At peace with the fruition or lack thereof of plants and ideas cultivated? At peace, knowing that the time for striving and intense productivity has passed?

This is a time to honor ourselves and our efforts as well as to let go of that which is passing. It is a time to know that what we have done, what we are, is enough. To explore this transition more deeply, you can write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends. You may want to include the following:

Decorate with yellow, gold, or autumn colors;
Light a candle and sit quietly. Breathe in yourself sitting there, breathe in the candle, breathe in your feelings of the moment, and with each breath, say inwardly, “This is enough.”
Nourish yourself with bread, apple cider, nuts, squash, corn, or any local, freshly harvested food;
Reflect on your harvest, naming or making a list of each undertaking, and with each one, regardless of how it turned out, say inwardly, “This is enough.”
When you are done, sit quietly, placing your hands over your heart, and say three times inwardly “I am enough.” Breathe that in.
Say thank you and blow out the candle.

After the Autumn Equinox, the days slowly become shorter and shorter, until at Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. Local Minnesotans, there will be no Autumn Equinox Celebration at Unity Unitarian Church until 2014—please plan to join us for the Winter Solstice this year. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. I finally found time and inspiration to collage again! Yay! Fresh Living is a collage to celebrate my decision to go back to school to become a Holistic Health and Wellness Coach. It feels like a fresh start and a continuation of a way of living that I have been exploring for a good 35 years. Coming to this decision has been an amazing process of learning to listen to and follow my desire, something that is still developing in me…

How do you relate to your desire? Do you listen? Do you follow what you hear? What do you learn from your desire?

Harvesting, Celebrating & Taking Stock: A Half-Day, Summer Women’s Retreat. Align yourself with the seasons, a Feminine form of spiritual practice. Autumn invites us to slow down, to gather in and take stock of our harvest, of our lives. What bore fruit and what did not? What can we celebrate and what needs to be reassessed? And how can we be satisfied with things just as they are? Listening to the wisdom of all three Centers—body, heart, and mind—we will engage in practices such as ritual, reflection, movement, and inquiry. No prior knowledge or experience is necessary.

Saturday, November 23rd from 1:00 to 5:00 pm in St. Paul. For more information, see our calendar.

Do you regularly take stock of your harvest? What does this look like in your daily life?

Laughter as a Happiness Practice! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, and I lead the Summit Hill Laughter Club, which meets the 3rd Wednesday October – December 2013 at St. Paul Yoga Center: 10/16, 11/20, and 12/18 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required, donations for use of the space accepted.

I am also partnering with WomanWell to offer Laughter Yoga on a Tuesday each month, starting on September 24th, from 7:00-8:00 pm, for $5. They are at 1784 E. Lacrosse Avenue (White Bear Ave/Lacrosse). To make sure this Laughter Yoga session is held, you need to register two days ahead of time and you can find directions here.

Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

How often do you really laugh? How do you consciously bring more happiness and joy into your life?

The Enneagram. Dave and I embrace the wisdom of the Enneagram as one of our many life practices, both as individuals and in our relationship. We are especially happy to offer these teachings to others, too!

We will be offering an Authorized Riso-Hudson Workshop this Fall: Journey of Growth (Levels) Workshop: Using the Enneagram to Develop your Soul, October 18-20, Friday evening through Sunday afternoon, at WomanWell in St. Paul.

In this Workshop, we will explore how to use the Enneagram as a map for the growth and transformation of our souls. Harnessing the powerful transformational potential of the Levels of Development and the Direction of Growth for each type, we will learn to identify the triggers that send us into stronger type-reactivity, as well as how to “wake up” to greater Presence and freedom within our type. Includes presentation, meditation, music, poetry, experiential exercises, and practical recommendations for growth.

$250 earlybird or couple’s rate before September 30th, $295 after. Overnight rooms available onsite for an additional fee. For questions and registration, contact Katy. See our calendar for more offerings.

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This picture and the above laughing picture are from a wedding I performed, and I facilitate the Seasonal Celebrations at Unity Unitarian Church.

On July 28th I served as Worship Leader for Unity Unitarian Church, offering a service entitled What’s Up With the Goddess?

I’ve performed two weddings this Summer and have two more to go—it’s such a blessing to help couples find a way to honor and celebrate their relationship! Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services..

How do you nurture your connection with the sacred? How do you find blessing in your life?

Bountiful Harvest Blessings, Katy Taylor, Wholeness Mentor

Nourishing Wholeness — nourishing wholeness

fresh living

about a month ago, i was wandering around in my kitchen–
bringing fresh veggies in from the garden for my lunch,
fermented veggies in jars on the counter,
experimenting with new recipes for eating a raw diet,
doing some dishes,
planning a nutritious meal,
–and loving every minute of it!

all of a sudden i realized–this is my PASSION! this is what i LOVE!
maybe i could actually earn my living doing what i love!

so i started looking around and immediately found
the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
one of my girlfriends back East is an IIN-trained health coach.
we always share recipes and excitement about healthy eating
and play in the kitchen together,
and quite a few other friends had been through or were in the program.

then one day, after calling IIN to get my questions answered,
i was consulting with a client, and the subject of food and cooking
wove itself so seamlessly into the Enneagram
and embodiment teachings we were exploring,
that i had no doubt that i could follow
what i really wanted to do with my life,
that it really was my own sacred choice–
that i could free myself from my own limited beliefs
and actually choose to live what i love!!

so, i am!

in a year i’ll officially be a practicing holistic health and wellness coach,
helping others make nourishing choices
to live a happier and more whole life.
looking back, i see that this is what my entire life has been about,
and i’m so excited to deepen my knowledge and be able to share it!

this is how i live brightly.
this is how i am awakening to love.
this is mindful, pleasurable, fresh living.

life practices: summer solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Summer Solstice reminds us to “celebrate and relish all of life’s pleasures by drinking them into every cell of our bodies.” (From Sara Avant Stover, The Way of the Happy Woman, p.135.) The daylight hours have been growing since Winter Solstice, each day becoming slightly longer until now, when seen from the North or South Poles, the sun reaches its highest position in the sky and appears to stand still (Latin “sol” or sun and “sistere” or to stand still). In 2013, the Summer Solstice occurs at 12:04 am CT on June 21st.

Especially with such a late Spring this year in Minnesota, the full return of Summer is a time for great celebration! We find ourselves invited out into the abundant, fertile, hot, and colorful magic of nature’s glorious embrace. Our senses on high, we can deeply nourish our cells, severely depleted from a long Winter and late Spring. We breathe in the many scents—of blooming flowers, rich earth, and barbecuing food. We taste the succulent, fresh fruits and vegetables, and cool, refreshing drinks of the season. We see the abundant forms of beauty all around us—in nature and in each other’s radiance. We hear the sounds of flourishing human and animal life. And we touch and are touched by the earth under our bare feet and hands, by the soft, warm air on our skin, and by our friends and lovers….Everything is blossoming into ripeness, coming into its fullest expression.

The challenge of Summertime is to really experience this magical plenitude, and not get caught up always chasing after more of this yummyness, thus missing out on the beauty and bounty that is right here. The last few lines of Mary Oliver’s poem When I Am Among the Trees remind us to land: “Around me the trees stir in their leaves / and call out, ‘Stay awhile.’ / The light flows from their branches. / And they call again, ‘It’s simple,’ they say, / ‘and you too have come into the world to do this, / to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.’”

Can we really take in Summer’s abundance, savoring each taste with all five senses, so that we fill up and revitalize our bodies and souls? Even in the midst of full celebration, can we truly receive and relish in Summer’s magic, passion, and glorious light? Perhaps then we, like the trees in Oliver’s poem can “go easy,” “be filled with light,” and shine.

You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
•    Sitting on the earth if possible, light a candle, red or orange in color.
•   Take a few deep breaths to land yourself in your body right here. Sense the earth beneath you, feel the air and warmth on your skin, take in the smells, sounds, and sights around you.
•   When you feel landed, look around you and find one thing that captivates your attention, in which you find beauty. Breathe this into your body, heart, and mind. Allow the beauty to touch you, to fill you, to affect you in whatever way.
•   Continue to breathe it in, savoring its essence, dropping any thoughts that arise, and allowing yourself to be filled with its light and to shine as long as you like.
•   When you feel complete, say thank you and blow out the candle.

Remember that as this day comes to an end, the days will very slowly become shorter, until at Autumn Equinox, the day and night will be balanced, and by Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. Savor and revel in the juicy passion of this Summer season! And local Minnesotans, please join us in a Summer Solstice Celebration at Unity Unitarian Church in St. Paul on June 21st at 7:00 pm. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. My collaging seems to have slowed down recently as I pour more creative energy into other projects, especially the garden, which is also a sort of collage, I guess! Primordial Being explores the Source—the life-force energy, the wisdom, the mystery, the beingness that informs and moves my life. Its depth, dark unknownness, and instinctual movement is something I often avoid, and yet, it is this very life force that channels through me and out into the the world.

I felt this collage wanting to take form and looked for quite a long time to find the image that might be able to express the vast, primordial beingness that I was sensing within, not knowing how it would take shape. That’s actually one of the things I love about collaging—entering into the unknown of what will come together to embody a deep yearning for expression an exploration…

How do you approach the unknown? Do you have practices that help you touch and explore it?

Celebrating & Savoring Pleasure: A Half-Day, Summer Women’s Retreat. Align yourself with the seasons, a Feminine form of spiritual practice. Summertime invites us to rejoice in our love of life in all its forms. Retreat-time helps us to slow down so that we can really savor and celebrate the pleasures of the season, thus connecting with our natural joy and gratitude. Listening to the wisdom of all three Centers—body, heart, and mind—we will engage in practices such as ritual, reflection, movement, laughter, and inquiry. No prior knowledge or experience is necessary.

Sunday, August 18th from 1:00 to 5:00 pm. For more information, see our calendar.

What do you do to help you slow down and savor your life? How do you build it into your life?

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, and I lead the Summit Hill Laughter Club, which meets two Wednesdays/month, June-September 2013 at St. Paul Yoga Center: 6/19, 7/3, 7/17, 8/7, 8/21, 9/4, 9/18 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required, donations for use of the space accepted. Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

How do you consciously bring more happiness and joy into your life?

On July 28th at 10:00 am I’ll be serving as Worship Leader for Unity Unitarian Church, offering a service entitled What’s Up With the Goddess? How does the resurgence of teachings focused on the Goddess have relevance for us today? As Sobonfu Somé clarifies, these are not “new age” teachings, but “ancient age” teachings. We will explore how the qualities and manifestations of the Goddess are necessary for living a balanced and whole life today.

Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services… You can read more about my practice of ministry.

Have you attended any celebrations or ceremonies recently? What about the ceremony touched you and invited you into a deeper place of contact with the sacred?

And you — what of your rushed
and useful life? Imagine setting it all down —
papers, plans, appointments, everything —
leaving only a note: “Gone
to the fields to be lovely. Be back
when I’m through with blooming.”
—excerpt from Lynn Ungar’s Camas Lilies

Joyful and Blooming Summer Blessings, Katy Taylor, Wholeness Mentor

life practices: spring equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Spring Equinox occurs midway between the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice, and the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night,” but in reality, the equality of day and night is only approximate and depends on your geographic location! In 2013, the Spring Equinox occurs at 6:02 am Central Time on March 20th.

Following on Winter’s long, cold, inward time, it is natural for us to be ready for the new life and new beginnings which Spring Equinox promises. Many cultures celebrate the Spring Equinox, which often has a connotation of beginning a new year or cycle, with celebrations such as Nowruz (Zoroastrians, Ba’hai and Persians) and Ostara (Celtic, Wiccan, and NeoPaganism). Here in Minnesota, we usually have to wait a little longer to see much physical evidence, but around this time, Winter’s grasp does begin to noticeably lessen as breezes begin to warm, snow melts more quickly, migrating birds begin to return, and early bulbs may even start poking up through the slowly warming earth.

Spring invites us to remember the natural rhythm of the seasons—it’s time, once again, to surge forth into fresh, new life, to open to a new cycle of growth, opportunity, and fortune. And yet, we can also keep in mind what the Equinox represents—just enough balance of day and night, dark and light. We can take a lesson from the plants that will soon emerge—even as the light beckons them to green again, their roots reach down into the dark, fertile earth for its support. Can we keep our feet firmly planted in the dark, ground of inner support that Wintertime has taught us while we reach into the excitement and possibility of Spring?

One common Springtime practice for opening to the newness and freshness is Spring cleaning. This can take many forms—cleaning and decluttering your home, your garden, your relationships, your soul…However you do it, I suggest it not be about banishing anything from your life, but instead about mindfully choosing life-affirming practices that could help you to live your life more fully. What could you choose to cleanse or enter into this Spring that will help you to open to new possibilities and growth? What will support your soul so that more of you can awaken to the possibility of new life? You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
•   Light a candle, yellow or light green in color;
•   Place a living plant near the candle and meditate on the balance of root support and outer growth needed for this plant to thrive, sensing your own internal rootedness.
•   When you are ready, breathe in one life-affirming quality or practice you might like to take on this Spring, and breathe out its opposite (don’t overthink this, whatever arises is fine). Do this for awhile until nothing new arises.
•   Sit quietly, breathing at your own pace, with the living flame of the candle and the living essence of the plant, breathing into your own living, growing soul.
•   When you are ready, say thank you and blow out the candle.

After the Spring Equinox, the days continue to grow longer, until at Summer Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest day. Please plan to join us for our Spring Equinox Celebration at Unity Unitarian Church in St. Paul this year on March 20th! May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. I have a collage waiting for me to write about, but it hasn’t been the right time, so that one will have to wait…This collage represents my New Year’s Intention of living more in Natural Presence. It is good to revisit now as I write this Spring Equinox blogpost—just seeing the image again reminds me of why I continue to do my practices. I practice out of devotion to my essence, my soul’s unfolding. I want to be more whole, more natural, more simply present and awake and alive. Collage is one of the practices that helps me to get in touch with this, along with many others I write about in this blog!

What practices do you take on from a place of inviting your soul’s individual unfolding? When do you feel simply present and alive?

Connected, Grounded, & Alive! A 4-week Women’s Practice Circle. Do you feel stressed by life and out of touch with your natural, feminine state of being? Join a group of women to practice connecting with our feminine essence more deeply. We’ll explore with movement and inquiry how to nourish and cultivate our connected, grounded, and alive life-force energy in order to feel happy, authentic, and whole!

No prior knowledge or experience is necessary. Starting this Sunday, March 17th! For more information, see our calendar.

How do you stay in touch with your body? How do you nourish your instinctual life?

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, and I offer a few different opportunities for laughing with a group. The Summit Hill Laughter Club meets two Wednesdays/month, April-June 2013 at St. Paul Yoga Center: 4/10, 4/24, 5/1, 5/15, 6/5, 6/19 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required, donations for use of the space accepted. I also offer a for-fee Noontime Laughter Class two Mondays/month at Tula Yoga & Wellness: 3/25, 4/8, 4/29, 5/6, 5/20, $10-$15 suggested donation, drop-in, 12:00-12:50 pm. Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

How do you consciously bring more happiness and joy into your life?

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed, and I facilitate the Seasonal Celebrations like Spring Equinox at my Unitarian Church. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services… You can read more about my practice of ministry.

What have you celebrated recently? How did you create sacred space to welcome or honor a life passage?

The Enneagram. Dave and I just finished facilitating a couple’s retreat using the Enneagram at our favorite B&B, Journey Inn, in Maiden Rock, Wisconsin. It was a beautiful, sweet, and intimacy-building experience for everyone. Our next offering will be our Deepening Practice Study Group focused on The Enneagram & Childhood Development: Healing the Past & Attaining Wholeness. In this highly experiential workshop, we will use Margaret Mahler’s model of sequential stages of psychological growth to explore how the different phases in our early childhood development (from birth into our fourth year) leave distinctive imprints on each of the nine types. For more information, see our calendar. We hope you can join us!

How do you gain insight on the unfolding and inner workings of your soul? What maps or tools work for you to access your innermost self?

Awakening Spring Blessings, Katy

life practices: winter solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Winter Solstice occurs this year on December 21st at 5:12 am CT, the earliest arrival of Winter since 1896 according to The Farmer’s Almanac! This is the first day of Winter—the shortest day and longest night of the year. Every day thereafter, the days grow longer until Summer Solstice, when we have the longest day and the shortest night. The ancient Mayan calendar marks Winter Solstice 2012 as the end of the 13th 144,000-day cycle, completing a full 5,200-year Mayan cycle of creation. While many fear that something may threaten our world at the end of this creation cycle, astronomers are not concerned.

Whether we face actual physical challenges or more internal ones, Wintertime is the time to pay attention to how we are doing on the inside. It is the time to crawl into the cave of ourselves and give extra attention to our physical and psycho-spiritual wellbeing. Just like the mama bear who hibernates, we need to prepare our cave so that we have the support we need to go into the mysterious dreamtime of connecting deeply with ourselves. We prepare by making space for all of ourselves—all thoughts, feelings, or physical suffering—we accept and allow whatever arises, meeting it with loving kindness.

Winter is the season to learn to yield, to surrender to your own truth, however painful, to listen carefully, and to take time to integrate your experience. It’s a slower time, a resting time, a staying-with time. Yielding to your own process means slowing down enough to make contact with what you are experiencing, what is moving you on the inside. Is there a practice you can commit to that will support you in this endeavor? It could be as simple as a few minutes of meditation, taking breathing breaks, sharing your heart with a close friend, or writing in your journal…How will you support your inward journey this Winter so that you may emerge renewed and refreshed in the Spring?

Here’s a starting place for a journal exploration, or a short ritual alone or with friends:
•   Begin in the dark, saying this chant 3-5 times: deep is the darkness, with no light at all, before and behind, and to either side*. Feel the rhythm of the chant drawing you inside, into the still, silent darkness. See if you can yield into the chant and the darkness. What does that feel like?
•   When you are ready, light a single candle. Breathe that light in, noticing everything you can about how it affects you and the space around you.
•   Name out loud or in your journal how you will support yourself in this time of inward turning.
•   Name out loud or in your journal anything you want to explore in yourself more deeply during the enfolding darkness.
•   Acknowledge your gratefulness for this inward time of listening and being, and blow out the candle.

Please join us for the Winter Solstice Celebration on December 21st at 7:00 pm at Unity Church Unitarian in the Parish Hall. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.
(* from Stephen Mitchell’s Gilgamesh)

Collage as a Practice. I haven’t been collaging in the last few months—it’s interesting how this practice comes and goes for me. I have an old wooden card table set up in my little room surrounded by shelves of magazines divided by type, ribbons, beads, jewelry, pens, wax pencils, glue, and other fun things to collage with. It’s welcoming and ready for me, but my energy has been going elsewhere. I know I’ll come back when it’s time as collaging is one of the practices that helps me remember who I am, to illuminate the threads I am following and weaving in my life.

This collage is one I completed in honor of my middle name change and 50th birthday—Changing Woman.

What practice help you to remember yourself? How do you weave the threads of your life together?

Friday, December 14th, from 7:00 to 8:00 pm, at Our Lady of the Presentation Chapel atrium, 1890 Randolph Avenue, St. Paul

More Information: Jennifer Tacheny, jtacheny@csjstpaul.org (651) 696-2872, Hosted by the CSJ Membership and Association Offices (Celeste’s Dream, Consociate Services, and Sister Membership).

Is music a part of your life? Try singing alone, with others, or even with a recording and then dissolving into silence. What do you notice?

Summit Hill Laughter Club! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects. Children who come with their parents are welcome.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, offering a club every 2 weeks this Fall at the Corner Studio of St. Paul Yoga Center at 1162 Selby Avenue. Please join us on Wednesday December 19th, and in the New Year, 1st and 3rd Wednesdays January through March from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required and no fixed cost, just by donation! Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed, and I facilitate the Winter Solstice Celebration mentioned above. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services… You can read more about my practice of ministry.

The Enneagram is one of the main maps of the soul I find helpful to understand the unfolding of my life. It is an amazing system that helps me to see the deeper, purer roots of my behavior—how most of my less savory behaviors are simply misguided attempts to reconnect with a more loving, whole, and good self.

Dave and I are facilitating a couple’s retreat using the Enneagram in early March at our favorite B&B, Journey Inn, in Maiden Rock, Wisconsin. It’s called Cultivating Deeper Contact and is about just that! Even in a relationship grounded in love and open communication, we often yearn for deeper contact with each other. The Enneagram illuminates many of the structures that stand in the way of such contact, as well as others that actually invite us toward a deeper contact with ourselves, each other, and the moment. Early registration (by January 1st) is $550 per couple, and after that, $600. For more information, see our calendar. We hope you can join us!

Deep Winter Blessings, Katy

life practices: autumn equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Autumn Equinox, or Mabon, occurs midway between the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice, and the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night” because (as on the Spring Equinox) the night and day are the same length. In 2012, the Autumn Equinox occurs at 9:49 am on September 22nd.

Autumn Equinox reminds us not only to be grateful for the fruits of the long Summer—from actual garden harvest to the completion of projects, wishes, and dreams—but also to prepare for the growing darkness. Just as in our daily life, the daytime of work and play is followed by a slowing down in the evening and then restorative sleep, Autumn is a part of the natural seasonal cycle. After a time of intense growth and passion comes a time of slowing down and then in Winter, a time of rest. This slowing down gives our bodies and souls a chance to integrate all that has been accomplished, so that we have the space to recognize and allow what is most needed next in our growth. It is a time of balance, of honoring both the light and the dark, of witnessing the gifts of the earth and the onset of crops dying as the earth enters dormancy. This seasonal cycle is part of our nature, too, and aligning with it helps us to lead balanced lives.

In what ways are you harvesting the fruits of your labor this year? What are you grateful for? For balance, take some time to reflect on the darker aspects of your soul as well. What has not come to fruition as you had hoped? Are there unfulfilled dreams and regrets? Can you include and be grateful for all it? You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends. A ritual could include:
• Decorating with yellow, gold, or autumn colors;
• Lighting two candles representing the balance of day and night, of light and dark, of harvest and fallowness—they could be black and white or whatever two colors represent this to you.
• Sitting in silence and reflecting on your harvest from the Summer, both the things you are grateful for and the regrets or unfulfilled dreams.
• Nourishing yourself with bread, apple cider, nuts, squash, corn, or any local, freshly harvested food;
• Naming or making a list of the things you are grateful for (your harvest);
• Naming or making a list of your regrets and unfulfilled dreams;
• Sitting quietly and breathing into both, knowing that both are needed for you to become whole: “Breathing in, I am breathing in [specific gratefulness or regret], Breathing out, I am breathing out [the same gratefulness or regret].”
• Saying thank you and blowing out the candle.

After the Autumn Equinox, the days slowly become shorter and shorter, until at Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. I’ve been learning about the Dark Feminine recently. Marion Woodman say she is “dark” because she is unconscious, that is, not yet brought into our consciousness. When things aren’t brought into consciousness, we are still affected by them—that unconscious energy influences the decisions we make, the ways we think…even what we magnetize to ourselves. And it’s usually the unconscious stuff that causes us to react in ways that are less than skillful.

The Feminne principle in both women and men has many expressions. I’m working with allowing Her unpredictability, Her ability to surrender and receive, Her capacity to be in the moment and receive pleasure, Her instinctive creatureliness, Her utter disregard for being “good” in favor of being real. Read more about this journey.

How do you experience the Dark Feminine in your life? What part of Her (You) are yearning to have come into consciousness?

Play. Every time I visit my sister and her family, I am reminded again about playing! Kids know how to do it—it’s part of how they learn about how to participate in the world. And it’s more than that. It’s also a practice of being.

This is me with Ruby, my 5-month old niece. Ruby Roo and Zander Salamander (3-year-old nephew) both played in as many of their waking moments as they could. Of course, play looks very different at those ages, but there are things in common. They were completely absorbed in what they were doing—be it exploring feet or building with legos—there is an entering into the moment with deep attention and focus. There’s curiosity and delight in exploration—each new discovery leading to the next, leading to the next, in a beautiful sense of flow. And there is such a sense of beingness—they are simply in themselves in the activity—no self-judging, no second-guessing, no anticipating, no daydreaming…in the moment.

I always dive in as deeply as I can when I visit, and often leave a bit exhausted from the nonstop kid-time. It’s not as easy for me to be present as they are naturally, so even though I was consciously practicing surrendering to their flow, I had to keep managing my sense of overwhelm, which takes a lot of energy!

How do you play? Do you make time for it regularly? Do you become completely absorbed in activities you love? (See below for one of the ways I practice playing when I’m back home…)

Summit Hill Laughter Club! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects. Children who come with their parents are welcome.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, offering a club every 2 weeks this Fall at the Corner Studio of St. Paul Yoga Center at 1162 Selby Avenue. Please join us on Wednesdays September 26, October 10 & 24, November 7 & 21, and December 5 & 19 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required and no fixed cost, by donation! Please contact me if you have any questions–I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! I just celebrated two weddngs in July and two in September. This above laughing picture was from a wedding I also performed. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life. You can read more about my practice of ministry.

The Enneagram. I’d like to give a deep bow to my boss, friend, and Enneagram teacher, Don Riso, who passed from this world on August 30th, 2012. Read more.

Without the discoveries and insight he received and published about the Enneagram, I doubt I would have this beautiful, comprehensive, and transformational system in my life. I also wouldn’t have had the great good fortune of working for Don and The Enneagram Institute or of meeting Dave through a Riso-Hudson Workshop.

I can hardly believe that he is no longer here in this physical world, I am grieving his loss, and I am extremely grateful for his devotion to the Enneagram, his teaching, and his friendship over the 10 years I knew him.

Dave and I will be carrying forth the Riso-Hudson work this Fall by offering a new Study Group series. We are excited to explore how we hold and perpetuate our type in our bodies, something Don, too, was working on. For more information, see our calendar.

Autumn Blessings, Katy

the dark feminine

This collage is a re-imagining of the original, which I was asked to take down after contacting the copyright holder to obtain accurate information so I could give attribution of a few of the images. I see now what happened is a perfect example of the Dark Feminine, whose energy is the subject of this exploration. She is the one whose actions include destruction, forcing us to cleanse and strip away, to release that which we no longer need or which no longer serves us. And in so doing, She invites us to more fertile, fresh, and abundant life.

In this case, not being allowed to use images that were direct representations of Goddesses made me look deeper into Her expression. I collaged over the originals, leaving their energy to infuse the whole with a wider range of images, which seem to me to actually represent Her many forms and energies with a greater and broader articulation. It’s funny how, in the end, my attempt to be a “goodgirl” actually called her forth–She destroyed “goodgirl’s” creation as it was, forcing me to surrender, to release, to take my exploration deeper,
to live it in my own life.

She knows deep in her bones
She feels, welcoming what arises
She senses all life

She has been hidden inside me,
tucked away, pushed down, turned from
as I have listened to Lily’s voice instead:
“be careful. be nice. be good. be pure. be innocent. be light.”

She calls to me
through my tears and pain and longing
through my body’s desire for pleasure and wholeness
through my untamed, grounded bare feet, my dirty gardening fingernails, my love of animals and earth

And Mimi, Lily’s “too-good mother,” says:
“just feel better, no need to dwell on the pain”
“don’t be hedonistic—you’ll overdo and regret it”
“better clean up, look presentable, and get back to work”

She calls us into her sacred rhythms of life, death, and rebirth
through the body’s connection to the waxing and waning of the moon
through the daily and seasonal turning of light and darkness
through the letting go into the creaturely, wild, instinctive animal self

In this place, there is no polarity of right and wrong—
sense, feel, listen to the body’s natural wisdom and creaturely knowing
dive into the dark to welcome all parts of the self

Creatures move, swoon, slither, and kill.
Creatures scream, dance, trance, weep, and surrender.
Creatures move, rest, play, bond, and mate.
Creatures live and die.

Here, Diana, Lady of the Beasts, hunts and lives her life on her own instinctual terms.
Here, Lilith imparts the powerful wisdom of her sexual energy and calls us to pleasure.
Here, the Valkyrie, leads us into and through the dark places, where we, like seeds, become fertile.
Here, the wild Medusa’s beauty might turn the ignorant and unprepared into stone.
Here, Tlazolteotl teaches of love and desire, and forgives us our fear and missteps.
Here, Persephone helps souls to form in the dark, uncomfortable mysterious depths.
Here, the Madonna shows us the path to untamable compassion and strength.
Here, the Lady of the Lake guides us in mysterious realms of emotion and renewal.
Here, Hathor, Lady of the Night, moves with instinctive ferocity, willing to destroy that which no longer serves us.

Lily and Mimi, heed the call.
The Dark Feminine calls you to depth, to passion, to desire, to surrender to sensuous, instinctive, intuitive life.

***

How does She call you? How do you heed the call? And what are the gifts of that practice?

ancestors

my ancestors surround me
like walls of a canyon
quiet
stone hard
their ideas drift over me
like breezes at sunset

we gather sticks
and make settlements
what we do is only partly
our own
and partly continuation
down through the chromosomes

my daughter
my baby sleeps behind me
stirring in the night
for the touch
that lets her continue

she is arranging
in her small form the furniture
and windows of her home

it will be a lot like mine
it will be a lot like theirs

– “Ancestors” poem by Harvey Ellis (edited to be a female baby)

I’ve been working with a book called The Path of Practice by Bri. Maya Tiwari to help myself align more to the natural rhythms of myself as a woman, connected to the earth and moon, to the seasons, and to the cosmos. One of the practices Tiwari recommends is to explore your ancestral heritage and learn about yourself and your relationship to those who went before. Since I feel most connected to my matrilineal line, I thought I would start there, with my mom’s mom, “Gammy.”

There are some interesting synchronicities that lead to a deeper exploration of this material now. My husband’s mom just passed away, and as an Interfaith Minister, I offered to help them put a Memorial Service together. I started with my Minister’s Manual and the Memorial Service I wrote as part of my seminary training, and found the service I had written for Gammy! It brought back many memories just as I was reading Tiwari’s book. As I was reading and making notes for myself, I remembered that not only did I have this collage, but also a beautiful photo album filled with stories about Gammy’s life that mom had given me for a recent birthday, almost as if I had been being prepared for this exploration.

* * *

I grew up hearing that I resembled my mom’s side of the family, and my sister resembled my dad’s. I never minded resembling the Tuck side in looks, as I always thought mom was pretty, but I wasn’t so sure I wanted to carry forth the opinionated and intense—some would say fanatic—energy that Gammy embodied. Turns out mom later found out that she was the wild, extreme one in her family, a role that then passed down to me in the matrilineal lineage…

As the collage portrays, Gammy’s bloodline included some percentage Native American (Cherokee or maybe Sioux), so I may have as much as 1/16 Native American blood in me, or much less…no-one seems to know for sure how far back that union took place. I like the idea of having some heritage that is much more deeply connected to the earth and her rhythms than the culture I grew up in. I like to think that connection is guiding me on this exploration as I deepen my awareness of my place within the natural rhythms of the earth.

As I reflect on the relationship between Gammy, mom and me, I see the many similarities as well as the ways my individual soul may be trying to bring my matrilineal line back into balance.

* * *

I come from a line of women who love to eat sweet things—Gammy ate so many that she ended up with diabetes in her old age, I had a binge eating disorder for many years, and mom has always tried to be careful not to overeat sweets. I remember how surprised I was to find out that mom and I both had the same taboo sweet treat: Oreos! Nowadays, sweet food isn’t calling me as much, but it makes me wonder what ancestral pattern was carried through to me that made us need to try to find the sweetness of life through treats instead of in our daily living?

What occurs immediately is the legacy I carry of being overly busy—until recently, too busy to savor and enjoy my life, which is where I am now finding that sweetness in abundance. This is a problem mom has complained about for years, commenting that I follow in her footsteps. Having learned more about Gammy’s life with nine children on a farm during the Great Depression, with very few amenities, I realize that she, too, must have been very busy.

However, Gammy was also known for indulging in pleasure, something I am still learning to embrace! Mom says she belonged to five book clubs, spending their sparse money on that instead of a flush toilet! She was also always willing to stop what she was doing and have fun. She never passed up a chance to turn a jump rope for any one of her nine kids, and she enjoyed jokes, and laughed, and really enjoyed her life. The best story I remember was when a bunch of the kids were home for Thanksgiving dinner with their friends. One of the boys asked Gammy to pass the butter and she picked it up and tossed it down the table!! The kids were pretty shocked, but all went on as normal, catching the butter, and not saying anything!

Gammy was also ahead of her time in her thinking about sex. She felt women had the right to be pleasured and in the mood before having sex with their husbands, and I imagine she practiced this, too! I also remember mom telling me that sex between two people who love each other is a beautiful and loving connection. I’m afraid my personality type combined with my teenage years of born-again Christianity got in the way of inheriting such an easy-going, forthright approach!

Gammy also felt the pull for deeper meaning through spirituality as I do. She spoke of past-lives and had an interesting theory about the soul that is actually very similar to the Diamond Approach path I follow. She felt the soul was like a many-faceted lantern, and each facet was a window into another person. She felt this explained why we feel connected to some people as soon as we meet them, as we are sharing the same soul. In the Diamond Approach each individual soul is the part of True Nature / God / Truth / the Divine embodied in a human being. And the diamond metaphor also feels related, as the diamond represents the many different facets of True Nature (Love, Joy, Will, etc.), some of which we have easier access to than others. Gammy believed that when she died, she was going to a good place and would be reincarnated—she even viewed death as another exciting part of life to learn about and enjoy!

Like mom and me, Gammy also loved beauty. She’d cry seeing a beautiful sunset and loved the fog lying low in the valleys. She also sketched, painted, and wrote whimsical poetry that celebrated her love and enjoyment of life. Beauty is imperative in my life—from the gardens, to collage and poetry, to music and singing, to color, texture, and the way a room is laid out—beauty soothes, delights, guides, and nourishes me.

We also share a love of dogs. Gammy had many—chihuahuas, dachshunds, st. bernards, and all manner of terriers! My life, thankfully, has been blessed by the sweet companionship of dogs, too—from Heidi the dachshund when I was a baby to Moppet the cocker-poo, to Bart the airedale terrier to Jake, Gammy’s toy poodle/terrier mix, to my own dogs Finnegan, a lab mix, and Teddybear, a lhasa apso, and many other dog friends in between!

Poverty has also influenced my life through Gammy, even though I have been lucky enough not to have to live through it myself. Having nine children, whose births overlapped the Great Depression, Gammy knew how to make ends meet through such practices as scraping out the last of the eggwhite from the shell and carefully using all left-overs. Mom was careful, too, passing this along to me. I can’t stand to waste food, always using a rubber spatula to get the last bit out, trying to get the most out of any meal, avoiding expensive items, and not wasting left-overs…

I wonder about my jaw—I have Gammy’s jaw, as does mom—the wide, square look of Native American ancestry. And this is also a key place that I hold tension. Is this related to unprocessed ancestral linkages? I wonder if I incarnated as an Enneagram type One to balance out mom and Gammy as Sevens. In Gammy, the Seven energy expressed as imbalanced pleasure-seeking, playing and joking around, as well as being outspoken, uninhibited, and crass at times. In mom, while there’s always a willingness to play and experiment and follow her curiosity, it’s more a matter of having her fingers in too many pots, not wanting to miss out on anything, being overly busy, and not able to rest.

Being a rigid, constricted, nothing-is-ever-right type One, has not been a very fun or relaxing way to live! So now my task is to learn to balance this One-Seven energy. Can I be responsible, conscientious and orderly, playful and happy, and enjoy my life all at the same time? It’s about sacred balance—perhaps my role is to find this, not just for myself, but for the ancestral lineage. To learn not to reject pleasure and the desire to take in and experience life, but to balance it with discernment, devotion, and right action. As Br. Stendl Rast says: to be “playfully serious and seriously playful,” enjoying a life-affirming life.

I see how my involvement in Laughter Yoga is related to this attempt to find balance! After experiencing a period of openness to Joy last year, I felt drawn to try Laughter Yoga. I’ve never been much of a laugher as an adult, being a rather serious and disciplined person. I did laugh socially, but not so much pure laughter just for the enjoyment of it, so Laughter Yoga was a stretch. I found I had so much fun being silly and playing and inviting a younger, less-inhibited, less self-conscious part of me to show up, that I decided to become a Laughter Yoga leader and create a club in St. Paul! This practice is about opening up to play, pleasure, and lightness, and breaking up my Oneish patterns of being serious, disciplined, and rigid, and I see now how it’s also about allowing access to my ancestral heritage through Gammy!

And this last few months of learning to rest, savor, and relax are also related to breaking up this pattern. More and more, I find pleasure in not doing anything, in simply being with myself, in seeing the beauty around me, in appreciating life. I feel so much gratefulness for this shift in my orientation—again, imbibing the lessons of my ancestry and my line of growth in the healthier side of type Seven.

I have decided to take a new middle name to represent this heritage. Mom originally wanted to name me after Gammy’s younger sister, Khyva, but my more conventional dad nixed naming me Kimberly Khyva Taylor (Katy is my nickname). It’s too bad as it would have been very appropriate! Khyva was a performing violin player, and I have been the only one in the extended Tuck clan to actively pursue music through singing professionally. Another interesting connection is that during my seminary training, when we did a meditation on taking a spiritual name, I received the name [kiva]. Researching the meaning of the word, I found that a kiva is an underground room used for spiritual ceremonies by certain Native American tribes. I was unwittingly connecting not only to my matrilineal, but also to my Native American, heritage, in this name! It is also amazingly synchronous to be connected with this now when we are learning about the Citadel in our Diamond Approach Work. The Citadel is experienced as a solid, stone-like structure that supports and provides shelter on the Path as we learn to live in alignment with our current realization of the Truth. I never felt connected to or liked my middle name, Kay—now I know why!

This exploration helps me to understand more deeply that I am not just Kimberly, aka Katy, Taylor, an individual doing her spiritual work. I am also part of this genetic and psycho-spiritual lineage. Who I am now continues to be informed and guided by those who have gone before me. I can learn from this heritage that lives on through me. I can embrace the gifts of my ancestors and find balance in the way I embody this lineage in the world. By incorporating Khyva’s name into my own, I more formally link myself to my matrilineal line. In so doing, I feel more connected to the earth-boundedness of being a human, born of a mother who was born of a mother…as part of this earth. I, too, am part of this rhythm of birth and life and death, intimately intertwined with those who have gone before and will come after me.

When I finished this collage on Thanksgiving Day 2009, it inspired me to also finish the collage in which I was exploring my pain around not having my own child. I saw the relationship very clearly—in not having my own child, I don’t get to continue my bloodline. What came before and created me will not get passed down by me through my physical flesh and blood. It will have to be in some other form. I hope that I can be a psycho-spiritual ancestor for some other woman as she discovers her connection to herself and the earth.

***

How do you see yourself connected to your ancestors? Are you aware of the heritage your life is carrying forward and / or trying to heal?

sunflower breathing

this collage is an exploration of an image that came to me during an acupuncture session. my qi was low, so my acupuncturist invited me to imagine breathing in the sun and allowing its glow and strength to flow into me. as I was breathing, the image shifted: my heart was a sunflower, and I was breathing into that sunflower that was blossoming, radiant, full of light, strong, sturdy, and robust. on the exhale, that energy flowed through me to any place that needed healing, and I saw all the hands that support me with friendship, compassion, love, and gentleness surrounding and holding me.

with that healing image in mind, this collage came into being. different from the way my mind’s eye saw it, collaging helped me to discover other parts of the process. much of my practice with my body has been about allowing myself to even have a body—a physical, human body that has needs and desires. I had to accept and own this fact before I could be aware of my need for support. I knew how to stay alive physically, but I’m still learning to enjoy my physical life, to savor, and love it. and for that, I need support—support from others in the form of connection, love, healing…

I see how most of my life, my fearful heart could not allow my need for support in—I thought I was autonomous, self-sufficient, and strong, taking care of my own needs. allowing myself to need something from others has softened me and made me more vulnerable. my fearless heart is able to admit that even if I can take care of many of my needs alone, it’s not as fulfilling, enjoyable, or easy.

so, I am here—landing in my heart and body. more fearless and grounded, and thus, more awake. this path of growth and healing is not very linear. in my healing, I see how I am always becoming. I am here and this is a beginning and no beginning—it is simply here. and in my healing and growth, while I may have an end in mind, there really is no end. as long as I am alive, I am present and transforming, here—and here—and here. embracing, releasing, growing, healing, and continuously surrounded by all the support that I need for this journey.

the colors that emerged reflect a particular kind of support, too—the yellow of Joy and the green of Compassion are featured. as I continue to learn to listen to my body’s and heart’s needs, I grow my ability to be compassionate with myself and others, and more open to moments of joy.

how are you supported? what invites your heart to be open, present, and fearless? what and how are you still becoming?