Category: self-care

Practice: EGS–Enjoyed, Grateful, Satisfied

I learned this sweet practice from Dr. Patrizia Collard’s The Little Book of Mindfulness and it is my go-to gratitude practice these days.

I find falling asleep is the time I most need to calm my mind and orient it toward what is good in my life; otherwise, my mind wants to spend time thinking about all the things that still need managing from my day—whether it does any good or not!

So, once in bed, I say a prayer of surrender and then go over my day:

  • Remembering what I Enjoyed,
  • Remembering what I am Grateful for,
  • Remembering what I am Satisfied with.

While Dr. Collard doesn’t describe the practice this way, I find this progression works really well for me. If it was a hard day and I have trouble finding something that I Enjoyed or something that I am Grateful for, I can always find something I am at least Satisfied with!

And if I get granular enough, I can usually find multiple examples in each one—I Enjoyed seeing the sunrise, sitting by the woodstove…I am Grateful for the nourishing food for lunch, for the client who is finding new openings…I am Satisfied with getting my winter clothes down from the attic, getting outside to walk…

As Marge Piercy says in her poem The Seven of Pentacles, “Connections are made slowly. They grow underground.”

Try some EGS at bedtime, allow new heart connections to grow underground, and see if it helps you reorient and gets you back in touch with the goodness in your life!

Yearning for more presence and less overwhelm?
Check out my e-book for 10 Simple Ways to
Welcome the Sacred into Your Daily Life!

Retreat Practicing

I received the gift of retreating with Sara Avant Stover to assist her SHE Retreat at Kripalu last week. It was such a blessing to practice with other devoted women in silence, surrounded by the beauty and support of Kripalu!

Many things come up on retreat, especially when you’re in silence. One of the ways we practiced was to write short haiku-like verses to express what was moving in our being. I am sharing some of mine that capture my process on retreat a bit. I’ve grouped them approximately by theme, but the process was not this linear. It rarely is—which is the beauty and scary part of going into the unknown. Note: “Kimmy” is my inner little girl.

Stillness calls clearly.
Leg resists, hearing occludes.
At rest and suffering.

Bells call me to prayer.
I hear only clashing metal.
Let me sleep.

Small power calls me.
Darkened sky threatens rain.
Light awakes within.

sugar-maple-path-500x

Boat adrift at sea
Tree rooted, bending in the storm.
Anchor me. Root me.

Many moments of One.
Christmas trees call me back to small self.
Green hills and blue sky smile.

Stillness beckons my soul.
Body is willing but sticky.
Mind grabs and craves.

red-maple-crop-500x

Laughter bubbles up,
Taking over my face with abandon.
Kimmy’s in the whirlpool.

Can pain and sorrow soften?
The soul becomes more malleable.
True Nature shining through.

goddess-dancing-500x

Take me, Mother, now.
Lift these veils of untruth.
Receive me in Your arms.

Removing my armor.
Can You find your way inside?
I yearn to be Yours.

Immensity calls.
Mind anticipates the direction.
SHE waits in Love.

moon-night-sky-500x

Are you yearning for some retreat time? I’d LOVE to support you in finding some! It is indispensable to your wellness.

Autumn Self-Care Mini-Retreat, Sunday, October 16th, 2:00-5:00
This Way of the Happy Woman® retreat will help you align with the rhythm of Fall through women’s circle practices, yoga, meditation, and journaling. 

Free Welcoming the Sacred E-Book
Sign up for 10 simple ways to create more presence and less overwhelm in your daily life!

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Mindful Living–and Ways to Practice with Me!


What does mindful living look like when you’re going through hard times?

What does mindful living look like when someone you love dies? Like my brother this past month…

What does it mean to be mindful, anyway?


Mindfulness, as I say to my clients, is using the amazing capacity of your mind to be mindful of what is arising in your body, heart, and mind.

Mindfulness is being mindful—sounds circular, doesn’t it. Hmm…


Mindful = using the fullness of my mind, the full capacity to attend, to give my attention to something.

  • If am working and finding myself distracted, my capacity to be mindful is not being exercised.
  • If I am multi-tasking—which researchers say is not possible for the brain—we’re just moving very quickly from task to task—I am most likely not being mindful.
  • If I am wool-gathering, I am not being mindful.
  • If I am on autopilot going over all the details of my brother’s untimely death again, I am not being mindful.

When you use the fullness of your mind to attend to your life, what does it look like?

Paying attention to what your senses are taking in is the easiest way to practice:

  • Being outside and really sensing the quality of air on your skin—temperature, texture, movement…
  • Sipping tea and taking in the aroma, the steam, the temperature, the taste, the texture…
  • Hugging a loved one and feeling the touch and temperature of their body, taking in their particular scent, sensing their touch of you…
  • Gazing at something and really seeing it—all the contours, details, colors, textures, etc.

This practice saves me when I get lost in sad thoughts about my brother. It brings me back to the moment, the life that is living in and around and through my senses and my bodysoul right now.


We can also place our full attention on what we are feeling and what we are thinking.

If I am mindful of what I am feeling, then I notice the sensation of the feeling, it’s location in my body, its intensity, its particular shape. I might even name it. As I grieve my brother: Constriction and collapsing in my chest. Grief. Confusion. Pain.

Being mindful of thoughts is a common form of meditation. In this case, it is especially helpful to find an anchor to return to when I start thinking, like my breath, or concentrating on my belly or the sensation of my feet on the ground. Establishing this anchor first, I then open my awareness to notice my thoughts instead of allowing them to think me.

I am mindful of what I am thinking, using the mind to attend to the mind. I might label the type of thoughts I am thinking in a practice called Noting: worrying, planning, perfecting, anticipating, judging, ruminating, conceptualizing, fantasizing, etc. I might also notice how they are affecting my body and heart.

In these last few weeks of processing my brother’s unexpected death, I have continually practiced returning to mindfulness. Allowing a wide range of feelings to wash over me—from grief to love, from confusion and pain to sweetness and happiness. I sense them, being mindful of how and where I experience them, not holding on to them, but letting them flow through. When the thoughts are looping, trying to make sense of it all, I notice them, sense them, label them, and return to my breath, to my belly, to my feet, and to other senses so that I can come back to the moment that is here. Sunlight, birdsong, aroma of wet earth, warmth of teacup, solid feet… From here, I am resourced. I am open. I am available to live my life as it unfolds with body, heart, and mind—mindfully.

How do you return to mindfulness?

This Fall I am offering a number of opportunities to practice mindfulness—I hope you will join me!


The Mindful Art of Tea, Thursday, September 22nd, 2016
Enjoy the ritual of tea as a vehicle for mindfulness practice.


Autumn Women’s Self-Care Mini-Retreat, Sunday, October 16th, 2016
Give yourself a chance to slow down and welcome the Autumn Season with yoga, meditation, journaling, and more in women’s community.


Choosing Happiness Habits Using the Enneagram, Mindfulness, and Play, 4-Part Series, starting October 18th, 2016
Learn how to access your innate happiness through experiential exercises, new awarenesses, and mindset shifts!


Healthy High Tea, TBD in November. 2016
Enjoy healthy food and mindful conversation in your mindful tea ritual! Watch my calendar.


Free Online “Practice Presence for Life Journey,” TBD in 2017
Join a community to make daily, simple choices to live a life of presence, one mindful choice at a time. Watch my calendar.


NEW: 1-off Holistic Life Coaching and Enneagram Sessions
Get some quick and practical support with ways to approach your life with an attitude of mindful practice. 

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freedom to…

i’m thinking about freedom.

the freedom to choose to lie in the hammock and write this.

the freedom to live in a stable, comfortable home with gardens
that keep me sane.

the freedom to love and live with the man i choose.

the freedom to retrain to do work that i LOVE.

the freedom to bake and eat chocolate flourless cake
with British black tea and cream
just because my inner little girl wants to—
and not be afraid of getting fat. (sip…yes, in the hammock!)

the freedom to stay off facebook because i need a break
from the computer.

the freedom to do my spiritual practice
in whatever way calls me today.

the freedom to defrost the freezer because we have
another in the basement.

the freedom to leave my Enneagram Institute job after 14 years
of dedicated service, care, and love.

the freedom to choose what i want to do today.

the freedom to squish those milkweed-eating beetles
or simply trap them.

the freedom to experience all my feelings, and
to comfort, accept, and love myself through them.

i am GRATEFUL for all this freedom!

How are you choosing and celebrating
your “freedom TO” this 4th of July week?

Believe it or not, having habits and rituals that support
you can create more freedom!
Yearning for more freedom, presence, and less overwhelm? 
Get my free ebook to Welcome the Sacred into Your Daily Life!

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Summer Sweetness

Don’t you love summer?

The light, the green, the blossoming, the beauty?

And how about the fun?

Swimming, biking, dancing, vacationing, picnicking, hammocking, camping, hiking, gardening, time with friends, playing outside!!

Let it fill your bodysoul to the brim. Savor it with all your senses. This beauty, this fun, this pleasure…this sweetness is your birthright!

Maia

When we don’t let ourselves really take in the
sweetness of life, we look elsewhere for it—

  • maybe in sweet or comforting foods
  • maybe alcohol or other drugs
  • maybe in screens
  • or in other addictive behaviors…

peony

We NEED pleasure.

We NEED sweetness.


It’s a wise move from the body to let us know that it is lacking and to seek it!

It is an attempt to find more balance and well-being.

How will you create more
pleasure and sweetness
for yourself this summer?

tea with buddha

50 degrees this morning.

a crisp breeze.

the ferns wave gently in response.

the porch swing rocks as if to say I am ready.

sun streams through the gap in the leaves.

my body drinking this warmth in.

tea, my constant companion.

building a pillow block for the wind to keep the tealite that keeps my tea warm from blowing out.

the morning holds me softly.

birdsong, breeze, the hum of human conveyances.

tea, its rich, nutty aroma, mixing with the breeze. it’s flowing warmth pleasing my mouth, my heart, my soul.

the beauty, the sacred ritual of morning tea brings me home to presence,
to my true self.

What morning rituals support your presence?

Yearning for more presence and less overwhelm?
Get 10 Simple Ways to Welcome the Sacred
into Your Daily Life!

Mindful Retreating

Dave and I spent four days on a writing retreat last week. What a treat!! Meals, clean-up, daily chores all taken care of…so that we could focus solely on our writing.

Retreat time is Sabbath time. Time set apart to be held as sacred, holy, wholly dedicated to listening and following inner guidance.

This time, I surrendered my regular routines completely in order to allow my own writing rhythm to arise, asking myself over and over: What is calling me? A walk? My somayoga? Meditation? Inspirational reading? My writing?

Surrounded by the unfolding of greening spring beauty everywhere, I sat by the picture windows and gazed out, letting myself rest.

Held by the reassuring cycle of meals and the never-ending supply of tea :), I let myself be nourished.

Supported by the loving and attuned presence of Karen Hering, the retreat facilitator, and the flexible rhythm of alone and together sessions, I let myself receive—

  • receive my own rhythm
  • receive my own guidance
  • receive my own inspiration
  • receive my own presence in the moment.

We NEED retreat time!

Keep reading to find out how to bring pockets of retreat time into your daily life.

Grounding In the Earth

ow that spring is finally coming to Minnesota, I am finding myself going barefoot outside as much as I can. Not only is this physically healthy, for the earthing energy received, I love the feeling of my physical body connecting to the earth.

Mother earth is literally and metaphorically the ground of our Feminine nature. Matter comes from the same root as “mater” or “mother.” Like a mother with a child, not only does the earth physically support and hold us through the atmosphere that is made of just the right nutrients for us to breathe and through the gravitational pull that holds us closely to her, she also provides food to nourish us from the perfect combination of nutrients in the soil, sun, and water found on our planet. In fact, did you know that our bodies are composed of many of the same elements as the earth’s crust?

  • Two-thirds of the earth’s crust and the body is made up of water.
  • The most abundant element in the body and in the earth’s crust is Oxygen, and
  • There are similar levels of Hydrogen and Calcium, as well as many other elements in common.

No wonder I feel deeply connected and nourished going barefoot!

We can deepen our connection to this source of nourishment, support, and holding by engaging in a practice I call Grounding in the Earth.

Try on this Grounding practice and learn how to bring it into your everyday life.

decluttering to make way

click.

yes, i’m sure.

no, i don’t want the weekly email.

not the sales emails.

not the blog.

please unsubscribe me.

yes, i’m sure.

“just streamlining. thank you for your work.”

it’s incredible to me how difficult this process is.

i am decluttering my inbox. i am decluttering my mind.
i am making space to integrate my life.

what is it that makes me think i need to get all these emails? i have subscriptions to many online experts—on health, wellness, spirituality, business, living your best life, self-care, sexuality, women’s work…phew. it makes me tired just typing it out here.

and yet, i’ve had a really hard time letting them go.

why? it all comes down to thinking i don’t know enough…

  • it’s my type One personality, always trying to do a good job and get things right…
  • and this information age in which we are supposed to know everything, be experts in our field, leaving no stone unturned…
  • and my upbringing with two smart parents, who were always keeping up on the world, on science, on important things, my mom even a tenured ceramics engineering professor…
  • and even my dearly beloved husband who has a Five mind that awes me in its ability to know and remember stuff.

Keep reading about what i learned from this process…

Grow

From the Talmud:
Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it
and whispers, ‘Grow, grow.’

A gentle whisper—grow, grow…

  • the spring rain to the grass
  • the sunlight filtering down to the rosebush
  • the robin nesting on her eggs
  • the mother bending over her baby
  • the conversation that asks from us a new response
  • nutrient-dense food coming into our cells, tissues, and bones
  • each new breath entering the body
  • love suffusing our overwhelmed hearts
  • the angels watching over us as we sleep
  • True Nature guiding the unfoldment of our lives

Take a moment and sense how you feel right now—body, heart, and mind.

But what about the everyday messages you learn from your upbringing and culture, reinforced by the inner critic inside your head?
Keep reading about how we really talk to ourselves and what to do about it.