This is Part II of a 2-Part Series on Love for the month of February. Part I explores how essential it is to say Yes to Love in relationship. This second post focuses on practicing Love. Although originally written for dear friends whose wedding I officiated, and, thus, about the personal Love relationship between two people, everything here applies to Love in any relationship—with yourself, with your friends, with your family, with an animal friend, with a partner, with the Beloved. Read the poem that inspired this exploration.
Saying Yes to Love also implies unconditionality.
I practice Love which is not dependent on whether or not…
- Dave remembers to put the toilet seat down,
- Or brings out the garbage,
- Or pulls the sheets off of me to his side of the bed in the middle of the night.
It’s not an “if” you do this kind of proposition!
Even if he hasn’t done something I had hoped for, I still look at him and say “I choose you.” I still say Yes to Love.
Because saying Yes to Love is choosing to live a life that is worth living.
When I say Yes to Love, I open myself to something greater than my limited understanding—
- To the possibility of both of our growth and transformation,
- To the mystery of the depth and breadth of the heart,
- To this moment of limitless possibility.
In order to do this, we have to be willing to feel and allow everything—
- The old wounds that will get retriggered by our partner,
- The shame of doing the same unskillful behavior over and over again as we try to learn a new one,
- The pain of not being able to open our hearts in the moment,
- The suffering of being stuck and unable to see our way through,
- As well as the amazing joy, gratitude, and bliss of Love.
For feeling is the language of the heart. And sharing these feelings with our partner is the language of intimacy. It is Love saying Yes. It is saying Yes to Love.
So, I encourage you to say Yes to Love every day, every moment, every chance you get. As Gregory Orr encourages us in his beautiful poem:
Later for “but,”
Later for “if.”
Only the single syllable
That is the beloved,
That is the world.
Yes. May we always choose to practice Love.
What are some concrete ways you practice Love?
With yourself? With others?
How could you deepen your practice?
Read Part I of Saying Yes to Love.
3 thoughts on “Saying Yes to Love—Part II”
Having a partner is a great opportunity to learn about saying yes to love. Knowing that none of us is able to fill the emptiness of another, or be filled by another, is a great place to start from. Just seeing the other as a human being with his/her faults and lacks, is so sweet a reminder that I am exactly like that, and that we together can learn to live with each other, without expectations of being made whole by the other.
Thank you Katy, for letting us know this.
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yes, yes, yes! and those expectations can really get in the way… your articulation of tise possibility is another way of saying Yes to Love! 🙂