collage – Page 3 – Nourishing Wholeness

the dark feminine

This collage is a re-imagining of the original, which I was asked to take down after contacting the copyright holder to obtain accurate information so I could give attribution of a few of the images. I see now what happened is a perfect example of the Dark Feminine, whose energy is the subject of this exploration. She is the one whose actions include destruction, forcing us to cleanse and strip away, to release that which we no longer need or which no longer serves us. And in so doing, She invites us to more fertile, fresh, and abundant life.

In this case, not being allowed to use images that were direct representations of Goddesses made me look deeper into Her expression. I collaged over the originals, leaving their energy to infuse the whole with a wider range of images, which seem to me to actually represent Her many forms and energies with a greater and broader articulation. It’s funny how, in the end, my attempt to be a “goodgirl” actually called her forth–She destroyed “goodgirl’s” creation as it was, forcing me to surrender, to release, to take my exploration deeper,
to live it in my own life.

She knows deep in her bones
She feels, welcoming what arises
She senses all life

She has been hidden inside me,
tucked away, pushed down, turned from
as I have listened to Lily’s voice instead:
“be careful. be nice. be good. be pure. be innocent. be light.”

She calls to me
through my tears and pain and longing
through my body’s desire for pleasure and wholeness
through my untamed, grounded bare feet, my dirty gardening fingernails, my love of animals and earth

And Mimi, Lily’s “too-good mother,” says:
“just feel better, no need to dwell on the pain”
“don’t be hedonistic—you’ll overdo and regret it”
“better clean up, look presentable, and get back to work”

She calls us into her sacred rhythms of life, death, and rebirth
through the body’s connection to the waxing and waning of the moon
through the daily and seasonal turning of light and darkness
through the letting go into the creaturely, wild, instinctive animal self

In this place, there is no polarity of right and wrong—
sense, feel, listen to the body’s natural wisdom and creaturely knowing
dive into the dark to welcome all parts of the self

Creatures move, swoon, slither, and kill.
Creatures scream, dance, trance, weep, and surrender.
Creatures move, rest, play, bond, and mate.
Creatures live and die.

Here, Diana, Lady of the Beasts, hunts and lives her life on her own instinctual terms.
Here, Lilith imparts the powerful wisdom of her sexual energy and calls us to pleasure.
Here, the Valkyrie, leads us into and through the dark places, where we, like seeds, become fertile.
Here, the wild Medusa’s beauty might turn the ignorant and unprepared into stone.
Here, Tlazolteotl teaches of love and desire, and forgives us our fear and missteps.
Here, Persephone helps souls to form in the dark, uncomfortable mysterious depths.
Here, the Madonna shows us the path to untamable compassion and strength.
Here, the Lady of the Lake guides us in mysterious realms of emotion and renewal.
Here, Hathor, Lady of the Night, moves with instinctive ferocity, willing to destroy that which no longer serves us.

Lily and Mimi, heed the call.
The Dark Feminine calls you to depth, to passion, to desire, to surrender to sensuous, instinctive, intuitive life.

***

How does She call you? How do you heed the call? And what are the gifts of that practice?

life practices: summer solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Summer Solstice reminds us to notice and celebrate the full return of the light. The daylight hours have been growing since Winter Solstice, each day becoming slightly longer until the Spring Equinox in March, when the day and night were equal in length. Solstice comes from the Latin “sol” or sun and “sistere” or to stand still because, as seen from the North or South Poles, the sun reaches its highest position in the sky, coming to a stop, before reversing direction. In 2012, the Summer Solstice occurs at 6:09 pm CT on June 20th.

The abundant and radiant light of Summertime invites us into the outside world that is glorious, greening, bright, and rich with possibilities. It is often a time of play—and passion—and abandon. That which prepared itself in the mysterious darkness of our earthly bodysouls is now coming into creative expression in the full light of day!

Spiritual teacher and author Dawna Markova suggests in her book Wide Open: “If we only experienced passion, we would be bold beyond belief, but we would burn, burn, burn ourselves out in a rapturous relationship with the untamable within us. We also need the dark, the stillness, the quiet of the night for the stars and constellations to appear, the patterns of movement of the whole universe to be visible.”

We are at the peak of the sun’s passion. How can you enjoy your passion for being alive this Summer while remembering the need for the balancing embrace of the quiet and stillness? How do you build both into your days? Is there a way for the passion to lead to the stillness—and the stillness back to the passion? How do you allow both in your life? How does each feed you?

You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
• Light a candle, red or orange in color;
• Name or make a list of all the vibrant, passionate, creative ideas, activities, and heart-journeys that you have or desire in your life.
• Now explore one or two of these and how they are supported by taking time for stillness, quiet, and rest.
• Sit quietly and breathe into your belly and heart, sensing the aliveness, passion, and juiciness there along with a solid, quiet, and restful sense of refuge.
• Continuing to breathe mindfully, allow a movement to arise and move your body in some way, big or small. And then allow that movement to settle back into the quiet stillness.
• When you are ready, say thank you and blow out the candle.

Remember that as this day comes to an end, the days will very slowly become shorter, until at Autumn Equinox, the day and night will be balanced, and by Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. Savor and revel in the juicy passion of this Summer season! May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Summer Solstice Celebration, June 20th at 7:00 pm at Unity Unitarian Church! Join us in the Sanctuary for a contemplative, family-friendly, Celtic-inspired ritual to mark the turning of the year as the light reaches its peak and the seasons continue their cycle. This participatory ritual will include chanting, meditation, joys and sorrows, singing, and something special for the kids.

Due to the church renovation project, there are some important changes to be aware of: 1) There is no air conditioning, so dress lightly and bring a fan! 2) Enter through the door on Portland on the East side of the church or from the church parking lot (off Holly).

If you would like to participate as a ritual leader or in a facilitating capacity (greeter, set-up, etc.) for this June 20th ritual, please contact me!

Collage and Practice. This collage is an exploration of an image that came to me during an acupuncture session. My qi was low, so my acupuncturist invited me to imagine breathing in the sun and allowing its glow and strength to flow into me. As I was breathing, the image shifted: my heart was a sunflower, and I was breathing into that sunflower that was blossoming, radiant, full of light, strong, sturdy, and robust. On the exhale, that energy flowed through me to any place that needed healing, and I saw all the hands that support me with friendship, compassion, love, and gentleness surrounding and holding me.

With that healing image in mind, this collage came into being. Different from the way my mind’s eye saw it, collaging helped me to discover other parts of the process. Read more about what I discovered in the original post, sunflower breathing.

What helps you to discover more about yourself, to dive deeper into your inner experience? What images represent your inner world and life path right now?

Body/Nourishment. During this time of healing, I have been much more in touch with my body’s needs for true nourishment. One of the really enjoyable things I’m rediscovering is just how yummy and nourishing food can be! I’ve always been a pretty healthy eater compared to most, but to build my immune system, I decided to try an even healthier diet, including no sugar other than fresh fruit, no alcohol, very low dairy, and lots more vegetables, espeically leafy greens.

Instead of approaching this as a deprivation—what no dark chocolate? no sip of that awesome ale?—I was able to find an inner bow, a sense of devotion to myself and my wellbeing. I have had a number of beautiful experiences in which I not only love the taste of my food, but really savor it, tasting and sensing its nourishment as I eat it.

Here’s a practice to try, Savoring:
• Choose a small piece of fresh fruit that you love.
• Prepare it for your savoring with mindfulness.
• Sit down and first look at it very carefully, noticing all its particularities of color, shape, texture…
• Smell it and really take all the aroma in.
• Then touch it slowly and sense its texture and temperature. You might want to close your eyes for a deeper experience.
• Now bring it to your mouth, and take a small bite. Roll it around a bit in your mouth and notice how it feels and tastes before chewing.
• When you’re totally ready, chew slowly and savor this amazing, sweet nourishment from the earth.
• What if we always got that much detailed, pleasureful information from our food? Don’t you think our bodies would know what they need to be healthy?

How do you listen to your body’s call for nourishment? How mindful are you when you eat?

Summit Hill Laughter Club! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects. Children who come with their parents are welcome.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, offering a club every 2-3 weeks over the Summer at St. Paul Yoga Center at 1162 Selby Avenue. Please join us on Wednesdays June 27, July 11, August 8, and August 22 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required and no fixed cost, by donation! Please contact me if you have any questions–I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! I recently performed a second Baby Blessing for a couple, and I’m preparing for two weddngs in July. This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed last year. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life. You can read more about my practice of ministry.

I am also leading worship at my church, Unity Unitarian, on Sunday, June 24th at 10:00 am. The topic is “Awakening Life.” The church is under renovation, so you can only enter from the parking lot handicapped entrance or the small door on the East side of the Sanctuary, up a few stairs. I’d love to see you there!

Summer Blessings, Katy

ancestors

my ancestors surround me
like walls of a canyon
quiet
stone hard
their ideas drift over me
like breezes at sunset

we gather sticks
and make settlements
what we do is only partly
our own
and partly continuation
down through the chromosomes

my daughter
my baby sleeps behind me
stirring in the night
for the touch
that lets her continue

she is arranging
in her small form the furniture
and windows of her home

it will be a lot like mine
it will be a lot like theirs

– “Ancestors” poem by Harvey Ellis (edited to be a female baby)

I’ve been working with a book called The Path of Practice by Bri. Maya Tiwari to help myself align more to the natural rhythms of myself as a woman, connected to the earth and moon, to the seasons, and to the cosmos. One of the practices Tiwari recommends is to explore your ancestral heritage and learn about yourself and your relationship to those who went before. Since I feel most connected to my matrilineal line, I thought I would start there, with my mom’s mom, “Gammy.”

There are some interesting synchronicities that lead to a deeper exploration of this material now. My husband’s mom just passed away, and as an Interfaith Minister, I offered to help them put a Memorial Service together. I started with my Minister’s Manual and the Memorial Service I wrote as part of my seminary training, and found the service I had written for Gammy! It brought back many memories just as I was reading Tiwari’s book. As I was reading and making notes for myself, I remembered that not only did I have this collage, but also a beautiful photo album filled with stories about Gammy’s life that mom had given me for a recent birthday, almost as if I had been being prepared for this exploration.

* * *

I grew up hearing that I resembled my mom’s side of the family, and my sister resembled my dad’s. I never minded resembling the Tuck side in looks, as I always thought mom was pretty, but I wasn’t so sure I wanted to carry forth the opinionated and intense—some would say fanatic—energy that Gammy embodied. Turns out mom later found out that she was the wild, extreme one in her family, a role that then passed down to me in the matrilineal lineage…

As the collage portrays, Gammy’s bloodline included some percentage Native American (Cherokee or maybe Sioux), so I may have as much as 1/16 Native American blood in me, or much less…no-one seems to know for sure how far back that union took place. I like the idea of having some heritage that is much more deeply connected to the earth and her rhythms than the culture I grew up in. I like to think that connection is guiding me on this exploration as I deepen my awareness of my place within the natural rhythms of the earth.

As I reflect on the relationship between Gammy, mom and me, I see the many similarities as well as the ways my individual soul may be trying to bring my matrilineal line back into balance.

* * *

I come from a line of women who love to eat sweet things—Gammy ate so many that she ended up with diabetes in her old age, I had a binge eating disorder for many years, and mom has always tried to be careful not to overeat sweets. I remember how surprised I was to find out that mom and I both had the same taboo sweet treat: Oreos! Nowadays, sweet food isn’t calling me as much, but it makes me wonder what ancestral pattern was carried through to me that made us need to try to find the sweetness of life through treats instead of in our daily living?

What occurs immediately is the legacy I carry of being overly busy—until recently, too busy to savor and enjoy my life, which is where I am now finding that sweetness in abundance. This is a problem mom has complained about for years, commenting that I follow in her footsteps. Having learned more about Gammy’s life with nine children on a farm during the Great Depression, with very few amenities, I realize that she, too, must have been very busy.

However, Gammy was also known for indulging in pleasure, something I am still learning to embrace! Mom says she belonged to five book clubs, spending their sparse money on that instead of a flush toilet! She was also always willing to stop what she was doing and have fun. She never passed up a chance to turn a jump rope for any one of her nine kids, and she enjoyed jokes, and laughed, and really enjoyed her life. The best story I remember was when a bunch of the kids were home for Thanksgiving dinner with their friends. One of the boys asked Gammy to pass the butter and she picked it up and tossed it down the table!! The kids were pretty shocked, but all went on as normal, catching the butter, and not saying anything!

Gammy was also ahead of her time in her thinking about sex. She felt women had the right to be pleasured and in the mood before having sex with their husbands, and I imagine she practiced this, too! I also remember mom telling me that sex between two people who love each other is a beautiful and loving connection. I’m afraid my personality type combined with my teenage years of born-again Christianity got in the way of inheriting such an easy-going, forthright approach!

Gammy also felt the pull for deeper meaning through spirituality as I do. She spoke of past-lives and had an interesting theory about the soul that is actually very similar to the Diamond Approach path I follow. She felt the soul was like a many-faceted lantern, and each facet was a window into another person. She felt this explained why we feel connected to some people as soon as we meet them, as we are sharing the same soul. In the Diamond Approach each individual soul is the part of True Nature / God / Truth / the Divine embodied in a human being. And the diamond metaphor also feels related, as the diamond represents the many different facets of True Nature (Love, Joy, Will, etc.), some of which we have easier access to than others. Gammy believed that when she died, she was going to a good place and would be reincarnated—she even viewed death as another exciting part of life to learn about and enjoy!

Like mom and me, Gammy also loved beauty. She’d cry seeing a beautiful sunset and loved the fog lying low in the valleys. She also sketched, painted, and wrote whimsical poetry that celebrated her love and enjoyment of life. Beauty is imperative in my life—from the gardens, to collage and poetry, to music and singing, to color, texture, and the way a room is laid out—beauty soothes, delights, guides, and nourishes me.

We also share a love of dogs. Gammy had many—chihuahuas, dachshunds, st. bernards, and all manner of terriers! My life, thankfully, has been blessed by the sweet companionship of dogs, too—from Heidi the dachshund when I was a baby to Moppet the cocker-poo, to Bart the airedale terrier to Jake, Gammy’s toy poodle/terrier mix, to my own dogs Finnegan, a lab mix, and Teddybear, a lhasa apso, and many other dog friends in between!

Poverty has also influenced my life through Gammy, even though I have been lucky enough not to have to live through it myself. Having nine children, whose births overlapped the Great Depression, Gammy knew how to make ends meet through such practices as scraping out the last of the eggwhite from the shell and carefully using all left-overs. Mom was careful, too, passing this along to me. I can’t stand to waste food, always using a rubber spatula to get the last bit out, trying to get the most out of any meal, avoiding expensive items, and not wasting left-overs…

I wonder about my jaw—I have Gammy’s jaw, as does mom—the wide, square look of Native American ancestry. And this is also a key place that I hold tension. Is this related to unprocessed ancestral linkages? I wonder if I incarnated as an Enneagram type One to balance out mom and Gammy as Sevens. In Gammy, the Seven energy expressed as imbalanced pleasure-seeking, playing and joking around, as well as being outspoken, uninhibited, and crass at times. In mom, while there’s always a willingness to play and experiment and follow her curiosity, it’s more a matter of having her fingers in too many pots, not wanting to miss out on anything, being overly busy, and not able to rest.

Being a rigid, constricted, nothing-is-ever-right type One, has not been a very fun or relaxing way to live! So now my task is to learn to balance this One-Seven energy. Can I be responsible, conscientious and orderly, playful and happy, and enjoy my life all at the same time? It’s about sacred balance—perhaps my role is to find this, not just for myself, but for the ancestral lineage. To learn not to reject pleasure and the desire to take in and experience life, but to balance it with discernment, devotion, and right action. As Br. Stendl Rast says: to be “playfully serious and seriously playful,” enjoying a life-affirming life.

I see how my involvement in Laughter Yoga is related to this attempt to find balance! After experiencing a period of openness to Joy last year, I felt drawn to try Laughter Yoga. I’ve never been much of a laugher as an adult, being a rather serious and disciplined person. I did laugh socially, but not so much pure laughter just for the enjoyment of it, so Laughter Yoga was a stretch. I found I had so much fun being silly and playing and inviting a younger, less-inhibited, less self-conscious part of me to show up, that I decided to become a Laughter Yoga leader and create a club in St. Paul! This practice is about opening up to play, pleasure, and lightness, and breaking up my Oneish patterns of being serious, disciplined, and rigid, and I see now how it’s also about allowing access to my ancestral heritage through Gammy!

And this last few months of learning to rest, savor, and relax are also related to breaking up this pattern. More and more, I find pleasure in not doing anything, in simply being with myself, in seeing the beauty around me, in appreciating life. I feel so much gratefulness for this shift in my orientation—again, imbibing the lessons of my ancestry and my line of growth in the healthier side of type Seven.

I have decided to take a new middle name to represent this heritage. Mom originally wanted to name me after Gammy’s younger sister, Khyva, but my more conventional dad nixed naming me Kimberly Khyva Taylor (Katy is my nickname). It’s too bad as it would have been very appropriate! Khyva was a performing violin player, and I have been the only one in the extended Tuck clan to actively pursue music through singing professionally. Another interesting connection is that during my seminary training, when we did a meditation on taking a spiritual name, I received the name [kiva]. Researching the meaning of the word, I found that a kiva is an underground room used for spiritual ceremonies by certain Native American tribes. I was unwittingly connecting not only to my matrilineal, but also to my Native American, heritage, in this name! It is also amazingly synchronous to be connected with this now when we are learning about the Citadel in our Diamond Approach Work. The Citadel is experienced as a solid, stone-like structure that supports and provides shelter on the Path as we learn to live in alignment with our current realization of the Truth. I never felt connected to or liked my middle name, Kay—now I know why!

This exploration helps me to understand more deeply that I am not just Kimberly, aka Katy, Taylor, an individual doing her spiritual work. I am also part of this genetic and psycho-spiritual lineage. Who I am now continues to be informed and guided by those who have gone before me. I can learn from this heritage that lives on through me. I can embrace the gifts of my ancestors and find balance in the way I embody this lineage in the world. By incorporating Khyva’s name into my own, I more formally link myself to my matrilineal line. In so doing, I feel more connected to the earth-boundedness of being a human, born of a mother who was born of a mother…as part of this earth. I, too, am part of this rhythm of birth and life and death, intimately intertwined with those who have gone before and will come after me.

When I finished this collage on Thanksgiving Day 2009, it inspired me to also finish the collage in which I was exploring my pain around not having my own child. I saw the relationship very clearly—in not having my own child, I don’t get to continue my bloodline. What came before and created me will not get passed down by me through my physical flesh and blood. It will have to be in some other form. I hope that I can be a psycho-spiritual ancestor for some other woman as she discovers her connection to herself and the earth.

***

How do you see yourself connected to your ancestors? Are you aware of the heritage your life is carrying forward and / or trying to heal?

sunflower breathing

this collage is an exploration of an image that came to me during an acupuncture session. my qi was low, so my acupuncturist invited me to imagine breathing in the sun and allowing its glow and strength to flow into me. as I was breathing, the image shifted: my heart was a sunflower, and I was breathing into that sunflower that was blossoming, radiant, full of light, strong, sturdy, and robust. on the exhale, that energy flowed through me to any place that needed healing, and I saw all the hands that support me with friendship, compassion, love, and gentleness surrounding and holding me.

with that healing image in mind, this collage came into being. different from the way my mind’s eye saw it, collaging helped me to discover other parts of the process. much of my practice with my body has been about allowing myself to even have a body—a physical, human body that has needs and desires. I had to accept and own this fact before I could be aware of my need for support. I knew how to stay alive physically, but I’m still learning to enjoy my physical life, to savor, and love it. and for that, I need support—support from others in the form of connection, love, healing…

I see how most of my life, my fearful heart could not allow my need for support in—I thought I was autonomous, self-sufficient, and strong, taking care of my own needs. allowing myself to need something from others has softened me and made me more vulnerable. my fearless heart is able to admit that even if I can take care of many of my needs alone, it’s not as fulfilling, enjoyable, or easy.

so, I am here—landing in my heart and body. more fearless and grounded, and thus, more awake. this path of growth and healing is not very linear. in my healing, I see how I am always becoming. I am here and this is a beginning and no beginning—it is simply here. and in my healing and growth, while I may have an end in mind, there really is no end. as long as I am alive, I am present and transforming, here—and here—and here. embracing, releasing, growing, healing, and continuously surrounded by all the support that I need for this journey.

the colors that emerged reflect a particular kind of support, too—the yellow of Joy and the green of Compassion are featured. as I continue to learn to listen to my body’s and heart’s needs, I grow my ability to be compassionate with myself and others, and more open to moments of joy.

how are you supported? what invites your heart to be open, present, and fearless? what and how are you still becoming?

life practices: spring equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Spring Equnox occurs midway between the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice, and the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night” because (as on the Autumn Equinox) the night and day are the same length. In 2012, the Spring Equinox occurs at 12:14 am on March 20th.

Spring Equinox reminds us that Spring is on the way. (These Amaryllis from my garden are not blooming yet!) Emerging from wintertime, when we may have had a chance to regroup, to draw nourishment from our roots and rest, we are now being invited into new growth. But even in Spring, it’s not always easy to break open the shell that’s holding us back, to stretch our wings and fly. As the air and soil warms, there is an upsurge of fresh energy and vitality. And yet, even as we breathe this Spring nourishment into our being, it can challenge the comfort of our current way of living, our habits, our ways of knowing ourselves. Just as plants find their way through the soil, rocks, and detritus into the light of day, so must we, too, be willing to meet what is in our path, to experience whatever suffering is necessary to break open the shell and peek out into the light of day. In this way, we, like the earth, can become verdant and flow with new life again.

What obstacles are on your journey this Spring? What ways of being are you being asked to reconsider? What suffering must you risk as you move into the fresh, new light? You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
• Light a candle, yellow or light green in color;
• Place an egg near the candle, sit in silence, and reflect on the journey from life inside this safe, contained, nourishing environment into the fresh, new, growing invitation of Spring;
• Name or make a list of the things that are difficult or that stand in the way of this transition, that may bring suffering;
• Sit quietly and breathe into your roots, into your ground, knowing that they will be there to support you;
• Continuing to breathe into this support, also breathe in the possibility of new, vital, fresh life;
• When you are ready, say thank you and blow out the candle.

After the Spring Equinox, the days continue to grow longer, until at Summer Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest day. Please plan to join us for a Summer Solstice ritual at Unity Unitarian Church this year! May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Singing Body Workshop and Mirabilis in Concert! I’m excited to let you know that my singing partner from out East, Amy Fradon, will be coming to St. Paul to sing with me in March for a workshop and a concert! More details below.

From a few audience members: “Thank you for an incredible evening. You really have the ability and power to bless—truly bless people with love and spirit through your song, voice, and music.” and “Your angelic voices blended so well that I was in a special odyssey of sound. I love your spiritual celtic melodic harmony of prayer ad gratitude to the Big Boss, whoever! May your work continue to lighten the hearts of many earthly souls.”

The Singing Body Workshop, Friday, March 23rd and Saturday, March 24th. 7:00-9:30 Friday and 9:00-5:00 Saturday, with Katy and Amy Fradon
Join Amy and Katy to rediscover the roots and soul of your voice. This workshop is mostly experiential, including singing, sounding, mindfulness, processing time, and ritual. Anyone wishing to explore their embodied voice is welcome with no vocal experience necessary. Held at Unity Church Unitarian. $150 or $125 for Unity Members. Read more and download a flyer here.

Mirabilis in Concert, Sunday, March 25th
2:00-3:30, with Katy and Amy Fradon
Enjoy original and medieval chant and song that weaves celtic ornamentation with haunting, mystical chant and prayer. Specializing in the music of Hildegard von Bingen, a capella and simply accompanied, Katy and Amy’s purity of tone and musical depth inspires and transports. Includes some participatory singing. In the Sancturay at Unity Church Unitarian. $12 admission, $10 for Unity Members. Read more and download a flyer here.

Voice Lessons with Amy Fradon, Monday-Thursday, March 19th-22nd
Amy has been singing and performing in the US and abroad in a wide array of musical groups for the past 25 years, from the Woodstock music scene in the 80s to touring with the Broadway hit, Pumpboys and Dinettes, to recording with Alcazar Records and Shanachie Cachet, to touring as the lead female singer with the Vanaver Caravan, as well as bringing music to the corporate world with Face the Music: a team-building medium with clients including Bank of America, Aventis, Pfizer, and General Electric.

Amy assisted Kim Rosen and Cathie Malach’s self-transformation work, Interspecies Connection, with voice support and group facilitation, and completed a 3-year certification with Kim called the Delphys Training in alternative counseling and healing modalities. She has since been ordained as an Interfaith Minister with a Spiritual Counseling Certificate at The New Seminary, and has developed a large private practice teaching vocal technique and helping people to find their “voice” using voice as a vehicle for self-discovery. Read more about Amy here. Contact Katy to schedule a lesson.

Collage and Practice. I can’t really write enough about my love of collaging! No matter what my life is bringing to me, collage can help me express and find deeper meaning than the linear thoughts that I’m consciously aware of.

This collage is, again, about exploring different parts of myself. I am in the midst of some healing work that includes learning to slow down, to do less, to rest. The process of collage itself invites me to do the same. I wrote about this collage in a recent blogpost. I am deepening my understanding of Anne Dillard’s oft-quoted phrase: “The way we spend our days is, of course, the way we spend our lives.”

One of the practices thas is supporting me in learning to slow down is that I make sure I take at least one 5-minute break in the day in which I do nothing. I might sip a cup of tea, but otherwise no reading, no music, no talking…I just sit in a comfrotable place and stay with myself for at least 5 minutes. This practice is helping me to actually experience my life more, to find more delight, more connection, more meaning, more joy, more peace right in the midst of it…That is how I want to spend my life, not the way I’ve been filling my days for so long–with work and busyness and to-do lists…

How do you spend your days? Is this how you want to spend your life? What simple thing could you try on to practice dropping into the moment?

Body/Movement. Because of this time of healing, I have been much less physically active recently. I tried at one point to start running again, but it was too soon and it absoutely exhausted me, so I decided to wait. I even had to stop going to the Belly Dancing class I was loving! I am learning to listen to what my body really needs, and she was telling me to rest. I slept 9-10 hours for almost a month on top of immune support and acupuncture! Now my body is feeling more energized and I’m waking up after 8-8.5 hours. I did my first run, only half the distance I normally would and more slowly, and I still feel good. So, slowly but surely, I hope to find my way into more conscious movement that supports my health and is attuned to my body’s needs.

How do you listen to your body’s needs? Do you exercise regularly? Can you tell what is enough and not too much? How does your body let you know, and do you listen?

Summit Hill Laughter Club! I’ve mentioned before that I trained to become a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, and now I’ve started a St. Paul Laughter Yoga Club at Unity Unitarian Church. We’re starting out with meeting one Wednesday per month. Upcoming dates are March 14, April 11th, and May 16th from 7:15-8:15, and it’s free!

Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, health, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises and the invitation to become more whole by allowing the lighter, more playful and joyful side of yourself to come forward, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga; however, it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to try on being a little bit silly. Please contact me if you have any questions–I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed last year. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life. You can read more about my practice of ministry.

The next seasonal celebration will be the Summer Soltice in June at Unity Unitarian church.

Spring Blessings, Katy

healing

I’ve been going through some stress-related health issues lately that have prompted me to slow down, to take on less, to listen, to ask for support, in short, to re-prioritize my life and look carefully at how I really want to be living “this one wild and precious life.” (from Mary Oliver’s Summer Day).

One aspect of this is related to the noface collage I did last Fall, an aspect of which I am exploring again here. I realize as I walk this healing path, that I don’t know, really, who I will be on the other side. I have ideas that I will be happier or freer or more able to listen to my body…but really, I don’t know who will emerge.

Like the many different faces of woman Susan Seddon Boulet’s paintings portray in this collage, I want to be open to whoever I am becoming. Maybe my sense of self doesn’t need to be static. Maybe, at any moment, I could embody any of these different faces—and others that I could never dream of.

Maybe my true face is like the yellow circle—full and empty, containing all things and nothing, radiant with potential and connected to all of life.

I want to dance this path with integrity and openness to who is emerging, not needing to know all the facets of who I am becoming.

How are you living your “one wild and precious life?” What parts of you are emerging? Do you feel open to not knowing exactly who you are becoming?

benevolence surrounding

we are
surrounded by
compassionate,
loving,
mysterious,
benevolence.

she continually
holds us,
welcomes us
invites us,
re-members us.

mary, queen of heaven,
pray for us

tara, savior of all,
dissolve our rigidity

kuan yin, goddess of compassion,
hold us in loving kindness

brigid of the hearth,
gather us

mary, the magdalene,
teach us sensual devotion

mother of the universe,
encompass us

the body is in the soul

I am attracted to this phrase from John O’Donohue: “The body is in the soul.” I turned to collage to discover its meaning.

The body, my physical home, is not just a container or a vessel. She is in the soul. She lives in and as part of the soul. As such, she is not alone, not fending for herself, but held in the shelter and embrace of the soul.

The soul is alive and unbound, impressionable, full of vitality and fluidity, always responding to the moment. And yet, I often experience my body as bound—contained within the confines of my skin, held in and separate. What if my body, living in my soul, as part of my soul, were not bound up in this separate physical package? What if I could remember that these skin boundaries are actually porous and permeable, allowing energy to move in and out of me, to meet and mingle with others?

My body gives my soul a way to connect with others. She is affected by life and she is intimate with all of life. My soul knows physical life through my body—tastes it, smells it, sees it, hears it, touches it, feels it…mindful experiencing of these senses, being sensuous, is to be in the presence of my soul, and is to be embraced in Presence.

Blues and oranges are the colors that my husband and I (in that order) love and are attracted to. For many years, I thought orange was too bright, garish, overdone. As I have learned to appreciate it over the past several years, I feel that I am also embracing my own vitality and life force energy. It warms me, feels radiant with life, invites me to joy, passion, and sensuality.

Images echo how nature, like the soul, holds and embraces and tends to us. She is our home, out of which we arise and flourish, and back to which we return. These images reveal the life, the movement, the fluidity, the beauty, and also the solidity and presence of the body in the soul. Held in the embrace of the soul, my body is safe, grounded, able to drop her boundaries and dip into the water of life.

(Quote from John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara, p.53. Image of woman from Louise Beckerman, titled Waters Edge.)

life practices: winter solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Winter Solstice occurs this year on December 21st at 11:30 pm CT. This is the first day of Winter—the shortest day and longest night of the year. Every day thereafter, the days grow longer until Summer Solstice, when we have the longest day and the shortest night.

Wintertime is the season of rest and renewal for the natural world. Plants stop growing and return to the earth, focusing their energy in their roots or in seed that lies dormant until Spring. Most animals that don’t migrate find comfort in shelter or hibernate until warmer weather. For us, as humans, it can also be a time of rest, a time of going inward to nourish our souls, a time of re-creation. However, as we head inside for the cold Minnesota Winter, it’s often the opposite—we find more and more to do. Not only are the holidays coming, but everything that was set aside over the Summer and Fall now captivates our attention.

The part of us that is in touch with the turning of the seasons yearns for this time of turning inward to nourish our roots, this time of rest. What would it mean to spend time in the darkness waiting and ready for the unknown, quiet and attentive to the unknown? What if we didn’t immediately turn to our to-do lists whenever we had a free moment, thus filling up our time with the known? What if we stopped for a moment to take in the darkening, to rest more, to respond to the invitation to slow down and nourish our souls? How might our lives be different?

Here’s a starting place for a journal exploration, or a short ritual alone or with friends:
• Begin in the dark, sitting in silence for a time, breathing in the darkness and the stillness.
• As you sit with yourself, notice your body and feelings. What arises in you? How is it to sit here quietly with nothing to do?
• When you are ready, light a single candle.
• Notice if there is a change in you with this light—keep coming back to your body and heart.
• Name out loud or in your journal what the darkness and stillness is calling forth in you. You may want to follow your body’s impulse to move or sound this experience.
• Acknowledge your gratefulness for this inward time of re-creation, and blow out the candle.

Please join me and other members of Unity Church Unitarian for a Winter Solstice Celebration at 7:00 pm in the Parish Hall on December 21st. You can find more information below. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Singing Meditation, Sunday, December 18th from 7:00-8:30 pm, with Katy and cellist, Anna Vazquez. How can you find the still point at your center in the midst of the chaos we call “holidays”? Come to the St. Paul Yoga Center to sing, meditate, and breathe with us in a peaceful, candlelit space, with warm tea for the throat, the healing sounds of cello, harmonium, chants and rounds sung in community, and the ultimate gift of your own presence.

Singing Meditation is the practice of singing simple chants and rounds from many spiritual traditions as a group and then dissolving into silence and allowing a time of quiet meditation before the next song is begun. Singing in this way can be a practice of coming home to our embodied selves as we allow the vibrations of sound to quiet our minds, open our hearts, and land us more deeply in our bodies, in the moment, physically present. All songs will be repeated many times and all are welcome (no prior singing experience necessary). Read more about Anna’s work and download a flyer. $10-$15 suggested donation.

Do you take time to sing, hum, or sound? Next time you do, notice how your body is affected by the vibrations. Also notice how your heart and mind respond.

Save the Date: In March 2012, my singing partner Amy Fradon will be joining me for a Singing Body Workshop and a Concert of my music. Read more and download a flyer.

Collage gives me a really valuable way to get to know myself in a nonlinear way. I’ve been exploring aspects of myself that have typically been less a part of my self-image recently. One such aspect is the one who takes the time to look and listen inwardly, who values intuitive knowing and feminine eros, or life force energy. This exploration feels very connected to the inward time we are moving into with the shorter days and longer nights. I wrote about this collage in a recent blogpost. How do you welcome and allow other parts of yourself to come forward? How do you go inside and listen?

Body/Movement. I also had the chance to explore this theme of allowing more of myself to emerge through movement recently. I had a wonderful session with a bodyworker who helped me to include my physical experience instead of trying to push it away. So often when I notice tension or pain, I notice it, and then want to do things to get rid of it. In session, she invited me accept it, allow it, move with it—include it in my felt-experience, rather than look away or ignore it. From this process, a deeper learning emerged. Including more of myself, I feel less one-sided, more full, more whole, more here. You may want to explore a movement impulse and see where it takes you. How does it make you feel to follow it, allow it, be with it? Does it complete itself in some way?

Baby Blessing! I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This picture is from my most recent Interfaith Baby Blessing for Reed and his family. He was totally into having blessing oil on his forehead and taste of milk on his lips as we welcomed him into his interfaith family with family and friends gathered. A Tibetan blessing for us all: May all beings moving through this world be showered and blessed with goodness and joy. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life. You can read more about my practice of ministry.

Winter Solstice Celebration! Come join this contemplative, family-friendly, participatory, Celtic-inspired ritual to mark the turning of the year as the darkness gives way to the growing light. This participatory ritual will include chanting, meditation, candle-lighting, singing, and cauldron jumping. Kids, bring animal masks and hand percussion (rattles, shakers, bells)!

Please contact me if you have any questions. We’d love to have you join us!

solstice-spiral-around-altar — Winter Solstice Ritual

Winter Blessings, Katy

intuitive self

she is.
she knows.
she feels, senses, is moved.
she touches inside. deep inside.
yearnings, longings, knowings.
here inside, here underneath.
trust in what is. here.
mystery. unknown.
stirring, moving, calling.
she follows, flowing after the call.
fully human, fully here, fully alive.
she touches inside. deep inside.
she feels, senses, is moved.
she knows.
she is.