mindfulness – Page 14 – Nourishing Wholeness

life practices: winter solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Winter Solstice occurs this year on December 21st at 5:12 am CT, the earliest arrival of Winter since 1896 according to The Farmer’s Almanac! This is the first day of Winter—the shortest day and longest night of the year. Every day thereafter, the days grow longer until Summer Solstice, when we have the longest day and the shortest night. The ancient Mayan calendar marks Winter Solstice 2012 as the end of the 13th 144,000-day cycle, completing a full 5,200-year Mayan cycle of creation. While many fear that something may threaten our world at the end of this creation cycle, astronomers are not concerned.

Whether we face actual physical challenges or more internal ones, Wintertime is the time to pay attention to how we are doing on the inside. It is the time to crawl into the cave of ourselves and give extra attention to our physical and psycho-spiritual wellbeing. Just like the mama bear who hibernates, we need to prepare our cave so that we have the support we need to go into the mysterious dreamtime of connecting deeply with ourselves. We prepare by making space for all of ourselves—all thoughts, feelings, or physical suffering—we accept and allow whatever arises, meeting it with loving kindness.

Winter is the season to learn to yield, to surrender to your own truth, however painful, to listen carefully, and to take time to integrate your experience. It’s a slower time, a resting time, a staying-with time. Yielding to your own process means slowing down enough to make contact with what you are experiencing, what is moving you on the inside. Is there a practice you can commit to that will support you in this endeavor? It could be as simple as a few minutes of meditation, taking breathing breaks, sharing your heart with a close friend, or writing in your journal…How will you support your inward journey this Winter so that you may emerge renewed and refreshed in the Spring?

Here’s a starting place for a journal exploration, or a short ritual alone or with friends:
•   Begin in the dark, saying this chant 3-5 times: deep is the darkness, with no light at all, before and behind, and to either side*. Feel the rhythm of the chant drawing you inside, into the still, silent darkness. See if you can yield into the chant and the darkness. What does that feel like?
•   When you are ready, light a single candle. Breathe that light in, noticing everything you can about how it affects you and the space around you.
•   Name out loud or in your journal how you will support yourself in this time of inward turning.
•   Name out loud or in your journal anything you want to explore in yourself more deeply during the enfolding darkness.
•   Acknowledge your gratefulness for this inward time of listening and being, and blow out the candle.

Please join us for the Winter Solstice Celebration on December 21st at 7:00 pm at Unity Church Unitarian in the Parish Hall. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.
(* from Stephen Mitchell’s Gilgamesh)

Collage as a Practice. I haven’t been collaging in the last few months—it’s interesting how this practice comes and goes for me. I have an old wooden card table set up in my little room surrounded by shelves of magazines divided by type, ribbons, beads, jewelry, pens, wax pencils, glue, and other fun things to collage with. It’s welcoming and ready for me, but my energy has been going elsewhere. I know I’ll come back when it’s time as collaging is one of the practices that helps me remember who I am, to illuminate the threads I am following and weaving in my life.

This collage is one I completed in honor of my middle name change and 50th birthday—Changing Woman.

What practice help you to remember yourself? How do you weave the threads of your life together?

Advent Singing Meditation. As we transition from Fall to Winter and continue our inward turning, I invite you to gather one more Friday evening with me to deepen your Advent journey with sacred chant and silent prayer/meditation. Learn and sing music from Hildegard of Bingen and from the Gaelic tradition. No prior singing experience necessary. Suggested donation $5-$10 per session.

Friday, December 14th, from 7:00 to 8:00 pm, at Our Lady of the Presentation Chapel atrium, 1890 Randolph Avenue, St. Paul

More Information: Jennifer Tacheny, jtacheny@csjstpaul.org (651) 696-2872, Hosted by the CSJ Membership and Association Offices (Celeste’s Dream, Consociate Services, and Sister Membership).

Is music a part of your life? Try singing alone, with others, or even with a recording and then dissolving into silence. What do you notice?

Summit Hill Laughter Club! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects. Children who come with their parents are welcome.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, offering a club every 2 weeks this Fall at the Corner Studio of St. Paul Yoga Center at 1162 Selby Avenue. Please join us on Wednesday December 19th, and in the New Year, 1st and 3rd Wednesdays January through March from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required and no fixed cost, just by donation! Please contact me if you have any questions—I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed, and I facilitate the Winter Solstice Celebration mentioned above. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life—Weddings, Baby Blessings, Seasonal and Transitional Rituals, Memorial Services… You can read more about my practice of ministry.

The Enneagram is one of the main maps of the soul I find helpful to understand the unfolding of my life. It is an amazing system that helps me to see the deeper, purer roots of my behavior—how most of my less savory behaviors are simply misguided attempts to reconnect with a more loving, whole, and good self.

Dave and I are facilitating a couple’s retreat using the Enneagram in early March at our favorite B&B, Journey Inn, in Maiden Rock, Wisconsin. It’s called Cultivating Deeper Contact and is about just that! Even in a relationship grounded in love and open communication, we often yearn for deeper contact with each other. The Enneagram illuminates many of the structures that stand in the way of such contact, as well as others that actually invite us toward a deeper contact with ourselves, each other, and the moment. Early registration (by January 1st) is $550 per couple, and after that, $600. For more information, see our calendar. We hope you can join us!

Deep Winter Blessings, Katy

life practices: autumn equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Autumn Equinox, or Mabon, occurs midway between the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice, and the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night” because (as on the Spring Equinox) the night and day are the same length. In 2012, the Autumn Equinox occurs at 9:49 am on September 22nd.

Autumn Equinox reminds us not only to be grateful for the fruits of the long Summer—from actual garden harvest to the completion of projects, wishes, and dreams—but also to prepare for the growing darkness. Just as in our daily life, the daytime of work and play is followed by a slowing down in the evening and then restorative sleep, Autumn is a part of the natural seasonal cycle. After a time of intense growth and passion comes a time of slowing down and then in Winter, a time of rest. This slowing down gives our bodies and souls a chance to integrate all that has been accomplished, so that we have the space to recognize and allow what is most needed next in our growth. It is a time of balance, of honoring both the light and the dark, of witnessing the gifts of the earth and the onset of crops dying as the earth enters dormancy. This seasonal cycle is part of our nature, too, and aligning with it helps us to lead balanced lives.

In what ways are you harvesting the fruits of your labor this year? What are you grateful for? For balance, take some time to reflect on the darker aspects of your soul as well. What has not come to fruition as you had hoped? Are there unfulfilled dreams and regrets? Can you include and be grateful for all it? You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends. A ritual could include:
• Decorating with yellow, gold, or autumn colors;
• Lighting two candles representing the balance of day and night, of light and dark, of harvest and fallowness—they could be black and white or whatever two colors represent this to you.
• Sitting in silence and reflecting on your harvest from the Summer, both the things you are grateful for and the regrets or unfulfilled dreams.
• Nourishing yourself with bread, apple cider, nuts, squash, corn, or any local, freshly harvested food;
• Naming or making a list of the things you are grateful for (your harvest);
• Naming or making a list of your regrets and unfulfilled dreams;
• Sitting quietly and breathing into both, knowing that both are needed for you to become whole: “Breathing in, I am breathing in [specific gratefulness or regret], Breathing out, I am breathing out [the same gratefulness or regret].”
• Saying thank you and blowing out the candle.

After the Autumn Equinox, the days slowly become shorter and shorter, until at Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Collage as a Practice. I’ve been learning about the Dark Feminine recently. Marion Woodman say she is “dark” because she is unconscious, that is, not yet brought into our consciousness. When things aren’t brought into consciousness, we are still affected by them—that unconscious energy influences the decisions we make, the ways we think…even what we magnetize to ourselves. And it’s usually the unconscious stuff that causes us to react in ways that are less than skillful.

The Feminne principle in both women and men has many expressions. I’m working with allowing Her unpredictability, Her ability to surrender and receive, Her capacity to be in the moment and receive pleasure, Her instinctive creatureliness, Her utter disregard for being “good” in favor of being real. Read more about this journey.

How do you experience the Dark Feminine in your life? What part of Her (You) are yearning to have come into consciousness?

Play. Every time I visit my sister and her family, I am reminded again about playing! Kids know how to do it—it’s part of how they learn about how to participate in the world. And it’s more than that. It’s also a practice of being.

This is me with Ruby, my 5-month old niece. Ruby Roo and Zander Salamander (3-year-old nephew) both played in as many of their waking moments as they could. Of course, play looks very different at those ages, but there are things in common. They were completely absorbed in what they were doing—be it exploring feet or building with legos—there is an entering into the moment with deep attention and focus. There’s curiosity and delight in exploration—each new discovery leading to the next, leading to the next, in a beautiful sense of flow. And there is such a sense of beingness—they are simply in themselves in the activity—no self-judging, no second-guessing, no anticipating, no daydreaming…in the moment.

I always dive in as deeply as I can when I visit, and often leave a bit exhausted from the nonstop kid-time. It’s not as easy for me to be present as they are naturally, so even though I was consciously practicing surrendering to their flow, I had to keep managing my sense of overwhelm, which takes a lot of energy!

How do you play? Do you make time for it regularly? Do you become completely absorbed in activities you love? (See below for one of the ways I practice playing when I’m back home…)

Summit Hill Laughter Club! Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga, but it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to be a little bit silly. It was started in 1995 by a family physician in India and is now widely practiced in over 65 countries around the world. Medical research supports its physical and emotional health-giving effects. Children who come with their parents are welcome.

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, offering a club every 2 weeks this Fall at the Corner Studio of St. Paul Yoga Center at 1162 Selby Avenue. Please join us on Wednesdays September 26, October 10 & 24, November 7 & 21, and December 5 & 19 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required and no fixed cost, by donation! Please contact me if you have any questions–I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! I just celebrated two weddngs in July and two in September. This above laughing picture was from a wedding I also performed. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life. You can read more about my practice of ministry.

The Enneagram. I’d like to give a deep bow to my boss, friend, and Enneagram teacher, Don Riso, who passed from this world on August 30th, 2012. Read more.

Without the discoveries and insight he received and published about the Enneagram, I doubt I would have this beautiful, comprehensive, and transformational system in my life. I also wouldn’t have had the great good fortune of working for Don and The Enneagram Institute or of meeting Dave through a Riso-Hudson Workshop.

I can hardly believe that he is no longer here in this physical world, I am grieving his loss, and I am extremely grateful for his devotion to the Enneagram, his teaching, and his friendship over the 10 years I knew him.

Dave and I will be carrying forth the Riso-Hudson work this Fall by offering a new Study Group series. We are excited to explore how we hold and perpetuate our type in our bodies, something Don, too, was working on. For more information, see our calendar.

Autumn Blessings, Katy

life practices: summer solstice

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Summer Solstice reminds us to notice and celebrate the full return of the light. The daylight hours have been growing since Winter Solstice, each day becoming slightly longer until the Spring Equinox in March, when the day and night were equal in length. Solstice comes from the Latin “sol” or sun and “sistere” or to stand still because, as seen from the North or South Poles, the sun reaches its highest position in the sky, coming to a stop, before reversing direction. In 2012, the Summer Solstice occurs at 6:09 pm CT on June 20th.

The abundant and radiant light of Summertime invites us into the outside world that is glorious, greening, bright, and rich with possibilities. It is often a time of play—and passion—and abandon. That which prepared itself in the mysterious darkness of our earthly bodysouls is now coming into creative expression in the full light of day!

Spiritual teacher and author Dawna Markova suggests in her book Wide Open: “If we only experienced passion, we would be bold beyond belief, but we would burn, burn, burn ourselves out in a rapturous relationship with the untamable within us. We also need the dark, the stillness, the quiet of the night for the stars and constellations to appear, the patterns of movement of the whole universe to be visible.”

We are at the peak of the sun’s passion. How can you enjoy your passion for being alive this Summer while remembering the need for the balancing embrace of the quiet and stillness? How do you build both into your days? Is there a way for the passion to lead to the stillness—and the stillness back to the passion? How do you allow both in your life? How does each feed you?

You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
• Light a candle, red or orange in color;
• Name or make a list of all the vibrant, passionate, creative ideas, activities, and heart-journeys that you have or desire in your life.
• Now explore one or two of these and how they are supported by taking time for stillness, quiet, and rest.
• Sit quietly and breathe into your belly and heart, sensing the aliveness, passion, and juiciness there along with a solid, quiet, and restful sense of refuge.
• Continuing to breathe mindfully, allow a movement to arise and move your body in some way, big or small. And then allow that movement to settle back into the quiet stillness.
• When you are ready, say thank you and blow out the candle.

Remember that as this day comes to an end, the days will very slowly become shorter, until at Autumn Equinox, the day and night will be balanced, and by Winter Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest night. Savor and revel in the juicy passion of this Summer season! May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Summer Solstice Celebration, June 20th at 7:00 pm at Unity Unitarian Church! Join us in the Sanctuary for a contemplative, family-friendly, Celtic-inspired ritual to mark the turning of the year as the light reaches its peak and the seasons continue their cycle. This participatory ritual will include chanting, meditation, joys and sorrows, singing, and something special for the kids.

Due to the church renovation project, there are some important changes to be aware of: 1) There is no air conditioning, so dress lightly and bring a fan! 2) Enter through the door on Portland on the East side of the church or from the church parking lot (off Holly).

If you would like to participate as a ritual leader or in a facilitating capacity (greeter, set-up, etc.) for this June 20th ritual, please contact me!

Collage and Practice. This collage is an exploration of an image that came to me during an acupuncture session. My qi was low, so my acupuncturist invited me to imagine breathing in the sun and allowing its glow and strength to flow into me. As I was breathing, the image shifted: my heart was a sunflower, and I was breathing into that sunflower that was blossoming, radiant, full of light, strong, sturdy, and robust. On the exhale, that energy flowed through me to any place that needed healing, and I saw all the hands that support me with friendship, compassion, love, and gentleness surrounding and holding me.

With that healing image in mind, this collage came into being. Different from the way my mind’s eye saw it, collaging helped me to discover other parts of the process. Read more about what I discovered in the original post, sunflower breathing.

What helps you to discover more about yourself, to dive deeper into your inner experience? What images represent your inner world and life path right now?

Body/Nourishment. During this time of healing, I have been much more in touch with my body’s needs for true nourishment. One of the really enjoyable things I’m rediscovering is just how yummy and nourishing food can be! I’ve always been a pretty healthy eater compared to most, but to build my immune system, I decided to try an even healthier diet, including no sugar other than fresh fruit, no alcohol, very low dairy, and lots more vegetables, espeically leafy greens.

Instead of approaching this as a deprivation—what no dark chocolate? no sip of that awesome ale?—I was able to find an inner bow, a sense of devotion to myself and my wellbeing. I have had a number of beautiful experiences in which I not only love the taste of my food, but really savor it, tasting and sensing its nourishment as I eat it.

Here’s a practice to try, Savoring:
• Choose a small piece of fresh fruit that you love.
• Prepare it for your savoring with mindfulness.
• Sit down and first look at it very carefully, noticing all its particularities of color, shape, texture…
• Smell it and really take all the aroma in.
• Then touch it slowly and sense its texture and temperature. You might want to close your eyes for a deeper experience.
• Now bring it to your mouth, and take a small bite. Roll it around a bit in your mouth and notice how it feels and tastes before chewing.
• When you’re totally ready, chew slowly and savor this amazing, sweet nourishment from the earth.
• What if we always got that much detailed, pleasureful information from our food? Don’t you think our bodies would know what they need to be healthy?

How do you listen to your body’s call for nourishment? How mindful are you when you eat?

I am a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, offering a club every 2-3 weeks over the Summer at St. Paul Yoga Center at 1162 Selby Avenue. Please join us on Wednesdays June 27, July 11, August 8, and August 22 from 7:30-8:30 pm. No registration required and no fixed cost, by donation! Please contact me if you have any questions–I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending/Ceremony. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! I recently performed a second Baby Blessing for a couple, and I’m preparing for two weddngs in July. This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed last year. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life. You can read more about my practice of ministry.

I am also leading worship at my church, Unity Unitarian, on Sunday, June 24th at 10:00 am. The topic is “Awakening Life.” The church is under renovation, so you can only enter from the parking lot handicapped entrance or the small door on the East side of the Sanctuary, up a few stairs. I’d love to see you there!

Summer Blessings, Katy

ancestors

my ancestors surround me
like walls of a canyon
quiet
stone hard
their ideas drift over me
like breezes at sunset

we gather sticks
and make settlements
what we do is only partly
our own
and partly continuation
down through the chromosomes

my daughter
my baby sleeps behind me
stirring in the night
for the touch
that lets her continue

she is arranging
in her small form the furniture
and windows of her home

it will be a lot like mine
it will be a lot like theirs

– “Ancestors” poem by Harvey Ellis (edited to be a female baby)

I’ve been working with a book called The Path of Practice by Bri. Maya Tiwari to help myself align more to the natural rhythms of myself as a woman, connected to the earth and moon, to the seasons, and to the cosmos. One of the practices Tiwari recommends is to explore your ancestral heritage and learn about yourself and your relationship to those who went before. Since I feel most connected to my matrilineal line, I thought I would start there, with my mom’s mom, “Gammy.”

There are some interesting synchronicities that lead to a deeper exploration of this material now. My husband’s mom just passed away, and as an Interfaith Minister, I offered to help them put a Memorial Service together. I started with my Minister’s Manual and the Memorial Service I wrote as part of my seminary training, and found the service I had written for Gammy! It brought back many memories just as I was reading Tiwari’s book. As I was reading and making notes for myself, I remembered that not only did I have this collage, but also a beautiful photo album filled with stories about Gammy’s life that mom had given me for a recent birthday, almost as if I had been being prepared for this exploration.

* * *

I grew up hearing that I resembled my mom’s side of the family, and my sister resembled my dad’s. I never minded resembling the Tuck side in looks, as I always thought mom was pretty, but I wasn’t so sure I wanted to carry forth the opinionated and intense—some would say fanatic—energy that Gammy embodied. Turns out mom later found out that she was the wild, extreme one in her family, a role that then passed down to me in the matrilineal lineage…

As the collage portrays, Gammy’s bloodline included some percentage Native American (Cherokee or maybe Sioux), so I may have as much as 1/16 Native American blood in me, or much less…no-one seems to know for sure how far back that union took place. I like the idea of having some heritage that is much more deeply connected to the earth and her rhythms than the culture I grew up in. I like to think that connection is guiding me on this exploration as I deepen my awareness of my place within the natural rhythms of the earth.

As I reflect on the relationship between Gammy, mom and me, I see the many similarities as well as the ways my individual soul may be trying to bring my matrilineal line back into balance.

* * *

I come from a line of women who love to eat sweet things—Gammy ate so many that she ended up with diabetes in her old age, I had a binge eating disorder for many years, and mom has always tried to be careful not to overeat sweets. I remember how surprised I was to find out that mom and I both had the same taboo sweet treat: Oreos! Nowadays, sweet food isn’t calling me as much, but it makes me wonder what ancestral pattern was carried through to me that made us need to try to find the sweetness of life through treats instead of in our daily living?

What occurs immediately is the legacy I carry of being overly busy—until recently, too busy to savor and enjoy my life, which is where I am now finding that sweetness in abundance. This is a problem mom has complained about for years, commenting that I follow in her footsteps. Having learned more about Gammy’s life with nine children on a farm during the Great Depression, with very few amenities, I realize that she, too, must have been very busy.

However, Gammy was also known for indulging in pleasure, something I am still learning to embrace! Mom says she belonged to five book clubs, spending their sparse money on that instead of a flush toilet! She was also always willing to stop what she was doing and have fun. She never passed up a chance to turn a jump rope for any one of her nine kids, and she enjoyed jokes, and laughed, and really enjoyed her life. The best story I remember was when a bunch of the kids were home for Thanksgiving dinner with their friends. One of the boys asked Gammy to pass the butter and she picked it up and tossed it down the table!! The kids were pretty shocked, but all went on as normal, catching the butter, and not saying anything!

Gammy was also ahead of her time in her thinking about sex. She felt women had the right to be pleasured and in the mood before having sex with their husbands, and I imagine she practiced this, too! I also remember mom telling me that sex between two people who love each other is a beautiful and loving connection. I’m afraid my personality type combined with my teenage years of born-again Christianity got in the way of inheriting such an easy-going, forthright approach!

Gammy also felt the pull for deeper meaning through spirituality as I do. She spoke of past-lives and had an interesting theory about the soul that is actually very similar to the Diamond Approach path I follow. She felt the soul was like a many-faceted lantern, and each facet was a window into another person. She felt this explained why we feel connected to some people as soon as we meet them, as we are sharing the same soul. In the Diamond Approach each individual soul is the part of True Nature / God / Truth / the Divine embodied in a human being. And the diamond metaphor also feels related, as the diamond represents the many different facets of True Nature (Love, Joy, Will, etc.), some of which we have easier access to than others. Gammy believed that when she died, she was going to a good place and would be reincarnated—she even viewed death as another exciting part of life to learn about and enjoy!

Like mom and me, Gammy also loved beauty. She’d cry seeing a beautiful sunset and loved the fog lying low in the valleys. She also sketched, painted, and wrote whimsical poetry that celebrated her love and enjoyment of life. Beauty is imperative in my life—from the gardens, to collage and poetry, to music and singing, to color, texture, and the way a room is laid out—beauty soothes, delights, guides, and nourishes me.

We also share a love of dogs. Gammy had many—chihuahuas, dachshunds, st. bernards, and all manner of terriers! My life, thankfully, has been blessed by the sweet companionship of dogs, too—from Heidi the dachshund when I was a baby to Moppet the cocker-poo, to Bart the airedale terrier to Jake, Gammy’s toy poodle/terrier mix, to my own dogs Finnegan, a lab mix, and Teddybear, a lhasa apso, and many other dog friends in between!

Poverty has also influenced my life through Gammy, even though I have been lucky enough not to have to live through it myself. Having nine children, whose births overlapped the Great Depression, Gammy knew how to make ends meet through such practices as scraping out the last of the eggwhite from the shell and carefully using all left-overs. Mom was careful, too, passing this along to me. I can’t stand to waste food, always using a rubber spatula to get the last bit out, trying to get the most out of any meal, avoiding expensive items, and not wasting left-overs…

I wonder about my jaw—I have Gammy’s jaw, as does mom—the wide, square look of Native American ancestry. And this is also a key place that I hold tension. Is this related to unprocessed ancestral linkages? I wonder if I incarnated as an Enneagram type One to balance out mom and Gammy as Sevens. In Gammy, the Seven energy expressed as imbalanced pleasure-seeking, playing and joking around, as well as being outspoken, uninhibited, and crass at times. In mom, while there’s always a willingness to play and experiment and follow her curiosity, it’s more a matter of having her fingers in too many pots, not wanting to miss out on anything, being overly busy, and not able to rest.

Being a rigid, constricted, nothing-is-ever-right type One, has not been a very fun or relaxing way to live! So now my task is to learn to balance this One-Seven energy. Can I be responsible, conscientious and orderly, playful and happy, and enjoy my life all at the same time? It’s about sacred balance—perhaps my role is to find this, not just for myself, but for the ancestral lineage. To learn not to reject pleasure and the desire to take in and experience life, but to balance it with discernment, devotion, and right action. As Br. Stendl Rast says: to be “playfully serious and seriously playful,” enjoying a life-affirming life.

I see how my involvement in Laughter Yoga is related to this attempt to find balance! After experiencing a period of openness to Joy last year, I felt drawn to try Laughter Yoga. I’ve never been much of a laugher as an adult, being a rather serious and disciplined person. I did laugh socially, but not so much pure laughter just for the enjoyment of it, so Laughter Yoga was a stretch. I found I had so much fun being silly and playing and inviting a younger, less-inhibited, less self-conscious part of me to show up, that I decided to become a Laughter Yoga leader and create a club in St. Paul! This practice is about opening up to play, pleasure, and lightness, and breaking up my Oneish patterns of being serious, disciplined, and rigid, and I see now how it’s also about allowing access to my ancestral heritage through Gammy!

And this last few months of learning to rest, savor, and relax are also related to breaking up this pattern. More and more, I find pleasure in not doing anything, in simply being with myself, in seeing the beauty around me, in appreciating life. I feel so much gratefulness for this shift in my orientation—again, imbibing the lessons of my ancestry and my line of growth in the healthier side of type Seven.

I have decided to take a new middle name to represent this heritage. Mom originally wanted to name me after Gammy’s younger sister, Khyva, but my more conventional dad nixed naming me Kimberly Khyva Taylor (Katy is my nickname). It’s too bad as it would have been very appropriate! Khyva was a performing violin player, and I have been the only one in the extended Tuck clan to actively pursue music through singing professionally. Another interesting connection is that during my seminary training, when we did a meditation on taking a spiritual name, I received the name [kiva]. Researching the meaning of the word, I found that a kiva is an underground room used for spiritual ceremonies by certain Native American tribes. I was unwittingly connecting not only to my matrilineal, but also to my Native American, heritage, in this name! It is also amazingly synchronous to be connected with this now when we are learning about the Citadel in our Diamond Approach Work. The Citadel is experienced as a solid, stone-like structure that supports and provides shelter on the Path as we learn to live in alignment with our current realization of the Truth. I never felt connected to or liked my middle name, Kay—now I know why!

This exploration helps me to understand more deeply that I am not just Kimberly, aka Katy, Taylor, an individual doing her spiritual work. I am also part of this genetic and psycho-spiritual lineage. Who I am now continues to be informed and guided by those who have gone before me. I can learn from this heritage that lives on through me. I can embrace the gifts of my ancestors and find balance in the way I embody this lineage in the world. By incorporating Khyva’s name into my own, I more formally link myself to my matrilineal line. In so doing, I feel more connected to the earth-boundedness of being a human, born of a mother who was born of a mother…as part of this earth. I, too, am part of this rhythm of birth and life and death, intimately intertwined with those who have gone before and will come after me.

When I finished this collage on Thanksgiving Day 2009, it inspired me to also finish the collage in which I was exploring my pain around not having my own child. I saw the relationship very clearly—in not having my own child, I don’t get to continue my bloodline. What came before and created me will not get passed down by me through my physical flesh and blood. It will have to be in some other form. I hope that I can be a psycho-spiritual ancestor for some other woman as she discovers her connection to herself and the earth.

***

How do you see yourself connected to your ancestors? Are you aware of the heritage your life is carrying forward and / or trying to heal?

sunflower breathing

this collage is an exploration of an image that came to me during an acupuncture session. my qi was low, so my acupuncturist invited me to imagine breathing in the sun and allowing its glow and strength to flow into me. as I was breathing, the image shifted: my heart was a sunflower, and I was breathing into that sunflower that was blossoming, radiant, full of light, strong, sturdy, and robust. on the exhale, that energy flowed through me to any place that needed healing, and I saw all the hands that support me with friendship, compassion, love, and gentleness surrounding and holding me.

with that healing image in mind, this collage came into being. different from the way my mind’s eye saw it, collaging helped me to discover other parts of the process. much of my practice with my body has been about allowing myself to even have a body—a physical, human body that has needs and desires. I had to accept and own this fact before I could be aware of my need for support. I knew how to stay alive physically, but I’m still learning to enjoy my physical life, to savor, and love it. and for that, I need support—support from others in the form of connection, love, healing…

I see how most of my life, my fearful heart could not allow my need for support in—I thought I was autonomous, self-sufficient, and strong, taking care of my own needs. allowing myself to need something from others has softened me and made me more vulnerable. my fearless heart is able to admit that even if I can take care of many of my needs alone, it’s not as fulfilling, enjoyable, or easy.

so, I am here—landing in my heart and body. more fearless and grounded, and thus, more awake. this path of growth and healing is not very linear. in my healing, I see how I am always becoming. I am here and this is a beginning and no beginning—it is simply here. and in my healing and growth, while I may have an end in mind, there really is no end. as long as I am alive, I am present and transforming, here—and here—and here. embracing, releasing, growing, healing, and continuously surrounded by all the support that I need for this journey.

the colors that emerged reflect a particular kind of support, too—the yellow of Joy and the green of Compassion are featured. as I continue to learn to listen to my body’s and heart’s needs, I grow my ability to be compassionate with myself and others, and more open to moments of joy.

how are you supported? what invites your heart to be open, present, and fearless? what and how are you still becoming?

life practices: spring equinox

My intention is to blog once a season about Life Practices in order to share what I am practicing in my life, and to suggest opportunities to join me, as well as ideas to use in your own practice.

Spring Equnox occurs midway between the longest night of the year, at Winter Solstice, and the longest day of the year, at Summer Solstice. It is called an Equinox from the Latin “equal” and “night” because (as on the Autumn Equinox) the night and day are the same length. In 2012, the Spring Equinox occurs at 12:14 am on March 20th.

Spring Equinox reminds us that Spring is on the way. (These Amaryllis from my garden are not blooming yet!) Emerging from wintertime, when we may have had a chance to regroup, to draw nourishment from our roots and rest, we are now being invited into new growth. But even in Spring, it’s not always easy to break open the shell that’s holding us back, to stretch our wings and fly. As the air and soil warms, there is an upsurge of fresh energy and vitality. And yet, even as we breathe this Spring nourishment into our being, it can challenge the comfort of our current way of living, our habits, our ways of knowing ourselves. Just as plants find their way through the soil, rocks, and detritus into the light of day, so must we, too, be willing to meet what is in our path, to experience whatever suffering is necessary to break open the shell and peek out into the light of day. In this way, we, like the earth, can become verdant and flow with new life again.

What obstacles are on your journey this Spring? What ways of being are you being asked to reconsider? What suffering must you risk as you move into the fresh, new light? You may want to write in a journal, or try a short ritual alone or with friends that could include the following:
• Light a candle, yellow or light green in color;
• Place an egg near the candle, sit in silence, and reflect on the journey from life inside this safe, contained, nourishing environment into the fresh, new, growing invitation of Spring;
• Name or make a list of the things that are difficult or that stand in the way of this transition, that may bring suffering;
• Sit quietly and breathe into your roots, into your ground, knowing that they will be there to support you;
• Continuing to breathe into this support, also breathe in the possibility of new, vital, fresh life;
• When you are ready, say thank you and blow out the candle.

After the Spring Equinox, the days continue to grow longer, until at Summer Solstice, we’ll be back to the longest day. Please plan to join us for a Summer Solstice ritual at Unity Unitarian Church this year! May you welcome and find grace in this changing of the seasons.

Singing Body Workshop and Mirabilis in Concert! I’m excited to let you know that my singing partner from out East, Amy Fradon, will be coming to St. Paul to sing with me in March for a workshop and a concert! More details below.

From a few audience members: “Thank you for an incredible evening. You really have the ability and power to bless—truly bless people with love and spirit through your song, voice, and music.” and “Your angelic voices blended so well that I was in a special odyssey of sound. I love your spiritual celtic melodic harmony of prayer ad gratitude to the Big Boss, whoever! May your work continue to lighten the hearts of many earthly souls.”

The Singing Body Workshop, Friday, March 23rd and Saturday, March 24th. 7:00-9:30 Friday and 9:00-5:00 Saturday, with Katy and Amy Fradon
Join Amy and Katy to rediscover the roots and soul of your voice. This workshop is mostly experiential, including singing, sounding, mindfulness, processing time, and ritual. Anyone wishing to explore their embodied voice is welcome with no vocal experience necessary. Held at Unity Church Unitarian. $150 or $125 for Unity Members. Read more and download a flyer here.

Mirabilis in Concert, Sunday, March 25th
2:00-3:30, with Katy and Amy Fradon
Enjoy original and medieval chant and song that weaves celtic ornamentation with haunting, mystical chant and prayer. Specializing in the music of Hildegard von Bingen, a capella and simply accompanied, Katy and Amy’s purity of tone and musical depth inspires and transports. Includes some participatory singing. In the Sancturay at Unity Church Unitarian. $12 admission, $10 for Unity Members. Read more and download a flyer here.

Voice Lessons with Amy Fradon, Monday-Thursday, March 19th-22nd
Amy has been singing and performing in the US and abroad in a wide array of musical groups for the past 25 years, from the Woodstock music scene in the 80s to touring with the Broadway hit, Pumpboys and Dinettes, to recording with Alcazar Records and Shanachie Cachet, to touring as the lead female singer with the Vanaver Caravan, as well as bringing music to the corporate world with Face the Music: a team-building medium with clients including Bank of America, Aventis, Pfizer, and General Electric.

Amy assisted Kim Rosen and Cathie Malach’s self-transformation work, Interspecies Connection, with voice support and group facilitation, and completed a 3-year certification with Kim called the Delphys Training in alternative counseling and healing modalities. She has since been ordained as an Interfaith Minister with a Spiritual Counseling Certificate at The New Seminary, and has developed a large private practice teaching vocal technique and helping people to find their “voice” using voice as a vehicle for self-discovery. Read more about Amy here. Contact Katy to schedule a lesson.

Collage and Practice. I can’t really write enough about my love of collaging! No matter what my life is bringing to me, collage can help me express and find deeper meaning than the linear thoughts that I’m consciously aware of.

This collage is, again, about exploring different parts of myself. I am in the midst of some healing work that includes learning to slow down, to do less, to rest. The process of collage itself invites me to do the same. I wrote about this collage in a recent blogpost. I am deepening my understanding of Anne Dillard’s oft-quoted phrase: “The way we spend our days is, of course, the way we spend our lives.”

One of the practices thas is supporting me in learning to slow down is that I make sure I take at least one 5-minute break in the day in which I do nothing. I might sip a cup of tea, but otherwise no reading, no music, no talking…I just sit in a comfrotable place and stay with myself for at least 5 minutes. This practice is helping me to actually experience my life more, to find more delight, more connection, more meaning, more joy, more peace right in the midst of it…That is how I want to spend my life, not the way I’ve been filling my days for so long–with work and busyness and to-do lists…

How do you spend your days? Is this how you want to spend your life? What simple thing could you try on to practice dropping into the moment?

Body/Movement. Because of this time of healing, I have been much less physically active recently. I tried at one point to start running again, but it was too soon and it absoutely exhausted me, so I decided to wait. I even had to stop going to the Belly Dancing class I was loving! I am learning to listen to what my body really needs, and she was telling me to rest. I slept 9-10 hours for almost a month on top of immune support and acupuncture! Now my body is feeling more energized and I’m waking up after 8-8.5 hours. I did my first run, only half the distance I normally would and more slowly, and I still feel good. So, slowly but surely, I hope to find my way into more conscious movement that supports my health and is attuned to my body’s needs.

How do you listen to your body’s needs? Do you exercise regularly? Can you tell what is enough and not too much? How does your body let you know, and do you listen?

Summit Hill Laughter Club! I’ve mentioned before that I trained to become a Certified Laughter Yoga leader, and now I’ve started a St. Paul Laughter Yoga Club at Unity Unitarian Church. We’re starting out with meeting one Wednesday per month. Upcoming dates are March 14, April 11th, and May 16th from 7:15-8:15, and it’s free!

Come explore the art of laughter to invite more joy, play, health, and wellbeing into your life! Because of the deep pranayamic breathing exercises and the invitation to become more whole by allowing the lighter, more playful and joyful side of yourself to come forward, this form of practice is also called Laughter Yoga; however, it does not include any physical asanas and can be practiced by people of all ages who are willing to try on being a little bit silly. Please contact me if you have any questions–I would love to laugh with you!

Reverending. I absolutely love performing ceremonies that bring more honoring of our intentions and love into the world! This above laughing picture was from a wedding I performed last year. Let me know if I can assist you in honoring any transitions or special moments in your life. You can read more about my practice of ministry.

The next seasonal celebration will be the Summer Soltice in June at Unity Unitarian church.

Spring Blessings, Katy

healing

I’ve been going through some stress-related health issues lately that have prompted me to slow down, to take on less, to listen, to ask for support, in short, to re-prioritize my life and look carefully at how I really want to be living “this one wild and precious life.” (from Mary Oliver’s Summer Day).

One aspect of this is related to the noface collage I did last Fall, an aspect of which I am exploring again here. I realize as I walk this healing path, that I don’t know, really, who I will be on the other side. I have ideas that I will be happier or freer or more able to listen to my body…but really, I don’t know who will emerge.

Like the many different faces of woman Susan Seddon Boulet’s paintings portray in this collage, I want to be open to whoever I am becoming. Maybe my sense of self doesn’t need to be static. Maybe, at any moment, I could embody any of these different faces—and others that I could never dream of.

Maybe my true face is like the yellow circle—full and empty, containing all things and nothing, radiant with potential and connected to all of life.

I want to dance this path with integrity and openness to who is emerging, not needing to know all the facets of who I am becoming.

How are you living your “one wild and precious life?” What parts of you are emerging? Do you feel open to not knowing exactly who you are becoming?

benevolence surrounding

we are
surrounded by
compassionate,
loving,
mysterious,
benevolence.

she continually
holds us,
welcomes us
invites us,
re-members us.

mary, queen of heaven,
pray for us

tara, savior of all,
dissolve our rigidity

kuan yin, goddess of compassion,
hold us in loving kindness

brigid of the hearth,
gather us

mary, the magdalene,
teach us sensual devotion

mother of the universe,
encompass us

the body is in the soul

I am attracted to this phrase from John O’Donohue: “The body is in the soul.” I turned to collage to discover its meaning.

The body, my physical home, is not just a container or a vessel. She is in the soul. She lives in and as part of the soul. As such, she is not alone, not fending for herself, but held in the shelter and embrace of the soul.

The soul is alive and unbound, impressionable, full of vitality and fluidity, always responding to the moment. And yet, I often experience my body as bound—contained within the confines of my skin, held in and separate. What if my body, living in my soul, as part of my soul, were not bound up in this separate physical package? What if I could remember that these skin boundaries are actually porous and permeable, allowing energy to move in and out of me, to meet and mingle with others?

My body gives my soul a way to connect with others. She is affected by life and she is intimate with all of life. My soul knows physical life through my body—tastes it, smells it, sees it, hears it, touches it, feels it…mindful experiencing of these senses, being sensuous, is to be in the presence of my soul, and is to be embraced in Presence.

Blues and oranges are the colors that my husband and I (in that order) love and are attracted to. For many years, I thought orange was too bright, garish, overdone. As I have learned to appreciate it over the past several years, I feel that I am also embracing my own vitality and life force energy. It warms me, feels radiant with life, invites me to joy, passion, and sensuality.

Images echo how nature, like the soul, holds and embraces and tends to us. She is our home, out of which we arise and flourish, and back to which we return. These images reveal the life, the movement, the fluidity, the beauty, and also the solidity and presence of the body in the soul. Held in the embrace of the soul, my body is safe, grounded, able to drop her boundaries and dip into the water of life.

(Quote from John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara, p.53. Image of woman from Louise Beckerman, titled Waters Edge.)

intuitive self

she is.
she knows.
she feels, senses, is moved.
she touches inside. deep inside.
yearnings, longings, knowings.
here inside, here underneath.
trust in what is. here.
mystery. unknown.
stirring, moving, calling.
she follows, flowing after the call.
fully human, fully here, fully alive.
she touches inside. deep inside.
she feels, senses, is moved.
she knows.
she is.