reprise: Come, yet again, come.

Come, come, whoever you are
Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving
Ours is no caravan of despair
Come, yet again, come.
~Rumi

Both Passover and Easter are about freedom.

The brain, on the other hand, likes patterns it can repeat, which makes it easy to fall into ruts…which don’t feel like freedom.

In one sense, it’s a good thing because the brain following well-known grooves to ride a bike or walk or drive frees up our energy for other things, like learning something new or trying on a new way of being…

But what if some of our repeated patterns aren’t serving us–and yet they keep repeating on autoplay? How do we find our way to freedom?

Come, yet again, come. This is a sweet invitation to come back to ourselves, to stop the autopilot of habit and wake up. To be present and experience the freedom of being right here, right now, in this very moment.

Wherever we are, whenever we notice,
we have the chance to choose freshly again.

We can take a look at what we’ve been choosing.

When I’m not present, my type One orientation habitually and unconsciously chooses to try to improve things–me, you, my environment…life! I just have to learn a little more by reading one more article, to straighten the pile of shoes in the foyer, to update my site to make it more user-friendly…There’s always more to do and never enough time… Your way of getting lost may be very different from mine, but we all have them.

When we notice we are on autopilot, we can ask:

Does what I’m habitually choosing reflect my values?

I often find my value for contemplative quiet time gets relegated to last on my list. Sure, I fit some in every morning, but if it’s something I truly value (and need to be well!) wouldn’t it make sense to create more space in my life for it?

Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving…

Why do we wander away, leave what we value?

We forget. We get pulled back into the automatic pilot of repeating habits.

These are so compelling because they are familiar–the patterns have been traveled so often that they feel known, safe, comforting…even if we’d like to change them.

They don’t challenge our sense of who we might be, which might happen if we didn’t follow them. Our self-identity relies on them. In my example, I know myself as someone who is always making things better. This is an integral part of how I define myself, recognize my value, and orient to the world. Who would I be, how would I interact with life if I didn’t need to know myself in this way? What options for being, for freedom might open up?

Holding what I am repeating on autopilot along with my values creates a paradox. How can both be true? And yet they are.

If we hold this paradox with mindfulness, we can receive the wisdom of right action. There is no ultimate “right” way to always respond, no one tried and true way to reconcile these opposites. If there were, believe me, I would have found it! 🙂

When I’m not present, I fall back into habit = unfree.

When I am present, I can hold both the habit and what I value, and see what freely arises as true in my experience right now, in this moment. Letting these guide me, holding the tension, and listening will result in the right action I seek. The next time I ask, the moment may require something else of me.

Come, yet again, come. Being present means I am responding freshly each time I wake up enough to come, yet again, back to myself and hold the paradox. May Passover and Easter remind us of this possibility–the possibility of freedom in any moment that we choose presence.

OK, your turn! What habits do you fall into without thinking? How do these affect your ability to create space for the things you value? How do they affect your freedom?

reprise: babysteps for presence

do you feel it?

it seems since the elections and the inauguration, we’ve been in a confused, chaotic, speeded-up world…

i know it’s easy for me to feel like i have to learn more, do more, be more…

we are bombarded by the outer world, with its messages that we aren’t doing enough, that we’ll feel better if…

and the problem with this?

it keeps us focusing on outer fulfillment. just one more news piece to catch up on, one more piece of chocolate, one more task off the to-do list… then all will be well. then i’ll stop. then i’ll rest. then i’ll be satisfied. hmm, really? 🙂

what can we do to be present
in the midst of it all?

babysteps!!

this is a concept i work with over and over again with myself and my clients…

1. first things first. notice how you get off center. notice what makes you lose your cool, feel off balance, get irritable, impatient, anxious… whatever your version of “off center” is. without awareness, nothing else is possible!

2. in the midst of it. turn to yourself with kindness and friendliness. instead of telling yourself to “get over it,” to “put a good face on it,” to “fake it until you make it,” take a moment and gently acknowledge that it’s hard to feel off center. it’s hard to be this busy. it’s hard to feel disconnected from yourself. with compassion, things soften and change in often unexpected ways.

3. when your heart feels more open, let your brilliant mind help you out some more! what one small thing could you do, RIGHT NOW, to help you be more present. you already are a little more present just from steps #1 & #2. what else would support you? could you stretch, sense your feet on the floor and your breath in your belly, dance, get up and walk around, take a breath of fresh air, get a cup of tea, take a nap? what would support you right now?

4. take that babystep! do it! don’t wait until you finish THAT THING. even if it’s just one minute, give yourself what you need to be more present RIGHT NOW. this is living our practice. this is waking up. this is how real change happens, one babystep at a time. it can be that simple.

What babystep will you take?

Spring is Coming

Spring is coming, is calling, is COMING!

Seeds, long held in the cozy dark, nutrient-rich soil, are beginning to push up through the darkness toward the light. Winter’s hold is not so tight.

The light is growing, is coming, is calling—don’t go back to sleep.

Feel your longing to wake up, deep down on the inside, like nature, longing to reach for the light.

Stay with the longing. Let it touch you. Let it move you into action. Let it keep you awake.

Breathe in the light all around you, in through all your pores, into your body—belly, heart, mind. Let is infuse and gently awaken and enliven you. Turn toward the light.

Spring Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere is officially marked on Monday, March 20th at 5:28 am Central Time, but we’ve been feeling its coming for some time now…

The last remnants of winter—the dark, the cold, the cuddled-up-in-bed parts—are holding pieces you need to release to be ready for Spring.

It could be anger, a hurt, an unrealized dream, a wish for life to be other than it is…Accepting that this, whatever it is, is still with you creates space for it to soften its grip and make way for the new energy of Spring, for a new beginning, a new seed to poke its way up through the dark underground into the light.

A Getting Ready Ritual

This ritual can support you in releasing what’s needed for Spring to arrive in your life. Enjoy it on the Equinox or before to prepare yourself for a new beginning any time.

Create intentional space for 20-30 minutes.
- Turn off electronics, close the door, settle in for some undisturbed quiet time.
- You might want your journal nearby.
- You might want to light a candle or mark this time in some way.
In a comfortable seated position, breathe in earth energy through your feet, up through your legs, into your lower belly. Imagine, visualize, or physically sense this.
- Breathe out and name whatever arises that you would like to release. As you exhale, soften, and simply let it be here with you.
- Breathing in grounded, stable earth energy, and breathing out your desire to let this go, feeling and sensing whatever it is.
- Inhaling earth energy up, then exhaling and naming what you would like to release, no forcing, no pushing away, no resisting.
Once you’ve accepted and allowed the feelings and sensations of what you’d like to release to be acknowledged, you’re ready to let them go.
Breathing earth energy in, let it go, carrying all you have released back down through your legs and feet into the earth, where it will be transformed.
- Repeat this a few times.
When you are ready, begin your inhale the same way, but bring your breath all the way up to your heart.
- On the exhale, if there is anything else arising in your heart that needs to be let go, name and release that.
- Breathe this way a few times.
When you are ready, the same breath comes all the way up to the crown of your head.
- And you release on your exhale, all the way down to the earth, naming anything else that arises, softening, softening, softening…
When you have run out of things to name, on your next earth inhale, as you breathe all the way up to the crown, name what you long for, what you are ready to move into, what you intend for yourself this spring.
- Soften and let it all go, into the hands of life, returning it to the earth.
- Continue breathing this way until you have named all that you long to bring into your world, all that you long to become this Spring.
Place your hands on your heart and make some gesture of gratitude.
Blow out the candle and/or close this intentional time in some way.

What is Spring inviting to grow in you?
What are you releasing to make space for this new growth?

Save

From Habit to Holy

We’re just over halfway through my free, online, 5-Day Practice Presence for Life Journey.

As we journey together, I continue to deepen my own inquiry into the connection between the ordinary and the sacred, between habit and ritual.

How is it that the same activity—getting out of bed in the morning, eating lunch, exercising—can be rote habit or sacred ritual?

The only thing that changes is what we bring to the activity. Every time we bring our mindful and kind attention to our actions, we are infusing that moment with presence and holiness. The holiness of intention and attention. The holiness of showing up to our lives as fully as we can. The holiness of simply being in and with our life.

By living with this respectful attention
and compassion moment to moment,
you sense the sacred in each part of your life.
~ Jack Kornfield in A Path with Heart, p. 197

Another aspect of creating sacred ritual vs. structured habit is that we consciously create the pattern we want to live in our lives. We take the time to consider what we need to make our lives more nourishing on all levels—more ease and wellbeing, more meaning and value, more [you fill it in…].

This can take a little effort to put into place. We have to take an honest look at what is not working and how we might change that. If I’m harried and arriving at work stressed out, maybe I need to create space for some morning practice. If I’m exhausted all day, maybe I need to figure out how to create resting and bedtime rituals. Or maybe I need to look at how I’m feeding myself or moving or something else, and how that is contributing to my overall wellbeing…

Making space for new ways of practicing is part of the picture. It might take a little creative thinking since we can get so locked in and attached to our unconscious habits. We have to be willing to experiment and try something new until we find the right fit for us.

Our patterns organize our reality.
They guide our established way of connecting with life.
~ Elaine de Beauport, Three Faces of Mind, p. 275

As we find the practices that work for us and create space for them in our day, we are setting the new pattern that can become sacred ritual. The familiarity of a repeated pattern provides us with a way to come back to ground, to give our nervous system deep rest. Our relaxed nervous system supports us on all levels so that we have more wellbeing in body, heart, mind, and soul. We are in rhythm with ourselves.

Ritual is an advanced routine, practiced
with care, attention, faith, and beauty.
It is a way of elaborating repetitive rhythms
ever more exquisitely, until they become ritual.
~ Elaine de Beauport, Three Faces of Mind, p. 301

Creating a life of everyday actions that become sacred ritual also means staying awake while we are practicing. As Kornfield emphasized, it’s the quality of our attention, not the doing of the new pattern that makes it sacred.

This is my challenge—I’m good at creating patterns, but then I have to remember to engage in them with presence, to bring all of me into my practice and not just practice to get it off my to-do list. (Yup, I have been known to fall into that one at times, even with a spiritual practice…)

And then there’s the trap of perfection, another one that has plagued me, especially as an Enneagram type One. I have often missed the sacred quality of presence in my patterns because I’ve put too much attention into doing them the “right” way. I am slowly learning that the only “right” way to practice is to show up—to bring as much awareness, heart, and embodiment to our practice as we can in each moment. That will vary day by day, moment by moment, and that’s OK!

We practice to nourish ourselves with our presence, not to try to reach some elusive ideal of perfection. Your presence matters. Your presence is what makes the moment, the practice, and your life holy.

Save

Falling into Fall…

Leaves are falling.

Life is falling. Into the earth.

Fall. Falling. Fallen.

We are falling from one season into the other at Autumn Equinox, on Thursday, September 22nd, at 9:21 am CT, the day when the light and dark are equal in length.

Falling into Autumn.

It can feel like that.

All of a sudden, it seems, the days are shorter.

Darkness comes earlier and lasts longer.

It’s time to light a candle. To come inside. To consider your harvest.

What flowered, spread its seeds, and died?

What are you harvesting from this wild abandon?

For my part, while the Summer was full and beautiful, a few things have blazed out and fallen.

A part-time job I loved is over and the ending still unsettled and confusing.

My brother is gone, returned to the earth.

I am reflecting on this harvest. It’s not what I wanted. And yet, it is.

This eternal cycle of return, of rising from
and falling into the earth.

There is a grace of falling. Of falling into. Of being held, finally grounded, completely surrendered. Into the unchanging ground of support.

There is a release in this.

I am still in the process of understanding the harvest from my losses. And in the midst of this, I am celebrating the abundance of loving holding from family and friends.

I also celebrate, from the eternal promise, that
living is hidden inside dying.

To this, I bow down.

Within the darkness, light is always arising.

Renewal is always becoming.

I am practicing patience and allowing this rhythm to live within as it lives without, for the right timing for renewal to grow from the seeds that returned to the earth.

What is falling, perhaps fallen for you?

How are you living
with your harvest this Fall?

If you’d like to include some ritual in your acknowledging of Autumn Equinox, I have a few suggestions on my blog from past years:

A practice to remember that this life, this harvest, this you-ness is enough.
A breathing practice to embrace your harvest—both regrets and celebrations.
A gratitude practice.

Save

tea with buddha

50 degrees this morning.

a crisp breeze.

the ferns wave gently in response.

the porch swing rocks as if to say I am ready.

sun streams through the gap in the leaves.

my body drinking this warmth in.

tea, my constant companion.

building a pillow block for the wind to keep the tealite that keeps my tea warm from blowing out.

the morning holds me softly.

birdsong, breeze, the hum of human conveyances.

tea, its rich, nutty aroma, mixing with the breeze. it’s flowing warmth pleasing my mouth, my heart, my soul.

the beauty, the sacred ritual of morning tea brings me home to presence,
to my true self.

What morning rituals support your presence?

Yearning for more presence and less overwhelm?
Get 10 Simple Ways to Welcome the Sacred
into Your Daily Life!

A Recipe for Joy

First things first.

Clear your counter—or if you have a well-used space that has everything you might need nearby, at least make some room for the mixing bowls and other utensils needed!

We’re mixing up Joy, so consider the ingredients you need for the recipe today. You can make another version another day. What do you need right now?

My Ingredient List

Sacred Time
Spiritual Practice
Intimacy
Self-Care
Friends
Music
Dance
Play

Method

Creating Sacred Space

Create sacred space for this time in your kitchen. You may want to light a candle or say a little prayer or intention for creating Joy. It could be as simple as taking a breath and saying, “May I open to Joy.”
Take a look at your ingredients. If you want to mix these particular ingredients together, what mixing bowl will you choose? Make sure you choose one that has MORE space than you think you need. You’ll need room to stir the ingredients together—and, who knows, there may even be some kitchen magic from the combining, so you’ll want to save space for that!

Preparing Your Joy
Keep Reading!

New Year’s Ease

This year I spent about three weeks really focused on learning from the past year and getting clear about how I want to live into this New Year.

I’m so grateful for this practice…there were many years I didn’t feel like I could take the time—or that it would make any difference if I did. I didn’t feel I could consciously influence the way my life would play out over time. I knew the value of practicing to change something in myself, but I felt at the whim of life’s unfolding events all too often…

As I reviewed, visioned, and felt into myself, over and over, a yearning in my soul arose—balance, ease, abundance, balance, openness, ease…

Ease, Work / Life Balance

I WANT this! And I’m struck with the fact that I only found out how much I want it by taking those 3+ weeks to settle in, to look at 2015, at all that I accomplished (or didn’t) and all that I had felt during the year…

As I was writing this post at my favorite local cafe, a friend I run into 1-2/month there stopped by to say hi, and as I showed him this New Year’s collage and talked about my theme for the year, he had an insight and spoke these simple and profound words:
Keep Reading!

Mindful Tea

This cup of tea
In my two hands
Mindfulness held completely
My mind and body dwell
In the very here and now.

This is a gatha—a mindfulness verse by the Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. He has written many verses about daily, ordinary life, all of which are calls to be mindful, to be present in the life we are living.

I’ve always loved tea in its myriad forms! I drink it black—straight up, flavored, or with heavy cream; green—from genmaicha to plain to green mango (a favorite); white or oolong—both plain or with flavors; and all the many flavor profiles and subtleties of herbal teas (sweet, clarifying, floral, rich, fresh, spicy, malty, grassy, fruity…).

I bought my first tea pot and cups when I was in Vienna on a study-abroad program in college, I inherited some of my grandmother’s lovely collection (see yellow flower cup below), and the rest is history!! I seem to keep collecting… 🙂

There is something so satisfying about making tea and pouring it out of a beautiful pot into a beautiful tea cup. This beauty is a call to presence, just like the mindfulness verse above.

Keep Reading!

Breakfast as Spiritual Practice?

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

What and how we eat affects everything!

Not only our tastebuds and digestion,
but also the wellbeing of our cells,
which create our organs and tissues,
which keep our body alive….

And without an alive body, our spirit would have no vessel to animate!

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know I refer to the body as the bodysoul. We can’t separate our physicality from our spirituality. The soul lives in the body and the body lives in the soul. Read more.

So, what and how you eat breakfast affects your entire bodysoul!

Do you pump your bodysoul full of caffeine and sugar in the morning, wreaking havoc on your adrenals and blood sugar levels?

If so, your bodysoul may have a hard time feeling balanced—being jerked around from caffeine creating stress and sugar causing nutrient depletion and energy drop.
It’s hard to stay present, meditate, have good relationships, or be the best person you know you can be when your bodysoul is affected in this way.
I could go on and on…but I won’t! 🙂

So, how could you choose to eat breakfast as a spiritual practice?

Start by checking in with your bodysoul to see what you really want/need to eat.
If you’re having caffeine, drink at least 1-2 cups of water first. And then drink your caffeine while eating protein.
Lessen or drop the added sugar altogether—unsweetened fruit is a great way to enjoy healthy sweet, and consumed with healthy protein and fats, you’ll find you have a sustaining meal.
Skip juice—it’s so concentrated that it’s pretty much as harmful as eating sugar! (Think of it as dessert for breakfast.)
Consider adding veggies to your breakfast! This was a revolutionary idea to me years ago, but now I often include veggies in some way. Find recipes for Find recipes for, Green Breakfast Bowl, and one of my current faves, Summer Breakfast Bowl. Berries and cucumber make this simple breakfast fresh, juicy, and nourishing—perfect for starting your day with your bodysoul in mind!
Once you have your food chosen, take a moment to savor it before you begin to eat. This is a way to mindfully take in your food with all of your senses BEFORE and while you are eating it.

Enjoy starting your day with a super-charged bodysoul spiritual practice and see how it affects the rest of your day!

How do you make breakfast part of your spiritual practice?
I’d love to hear about it!