Category: body

Bowing Practice

I’ve been practicing bowing recently.

When I was researching possible publishers for the book I’m working on, I stumbled upon a book called Bowing by Dahn Yoga Education. I was intrigued and ordered it.

When it came, I devoured it in one sitting and started practicing!

It’s a simple practice, bowing.

Just like the tulips in the photo, that rise in the spring, bloom radiantly, and then release their form to the earth to build up energy for their next blossoming in the following year, bowing is a metaphor for being willing to let go, and then re-form and rise again…when it’s time.

Hands at my heart, I feel myself here, human, woman, being, connecting earth and heaven.

Prayers reach to heaven, draw down into my earthly body, mix the light and dark, the active and still, the blossoming and the release of this form.

And then the downward trajectory, bodysoul (body-heart-mind-soul) returning to the earth with reverence and humility, a sacred return.

How surely gravity’s law, / strong as an ocean current, / takes hold of even the strongest thing /
and pulls it toward the heart of the world. (Rilke in II, 16.)

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, growing from the earth, returning to the earth. Head bowed, touching the earth, hands open to receive.

If we surrendered / to earth’s intelligence /
we could rise up rooted, like trees. (Rilke in II, 16.)

Surrendering this moment through the physicality of the bow. My body embodying it so that my heart and mind can learn this gesture as well.

…to fall, / patiently to trust our heaviness. / Even a bird has to do that /
before he can fly. (Rilke in II, 16.)

Returning to standing, following the same pathway, with a subtly changed orientation of the heart. Bringing the humble, solid, ever-supportive and accepting presence of earth up into my humanness, connecting heaven and earth.

 How does practicing the bow feel to you?

Free Heart

May a woman’s heart be a vast open field
upon which wild horses can run.
~ Tibetan Buddhist saying

My New Year’s theme for 2017 is Free Heart.

While i knew clearly that this was my path for 2017, i needed time to understand more and to live into it before writing about it. In collaging this theme and then journalling, i have discovered some gems:

I am the One whose heart smiles and can meet and hold and include all things.

I am the One whose body dissolves into ease and bliss, and whose mind opens to accept and know all truths–even those different from mine.

I am the One whose smile breaks into blossom with the freedom in her heart.

I am the One whose life is a blessing.

I am the One who flies above all heartbreak knowing there is always deeper truth than suffering.

I am the One who sings and sings and sings for the tremendous beauty and truth and preciousness of life.

I the One whose unruly and wild heart serves the truth in all beings.

As we are practicing presence this week in my free 5-Day Online Practice Presence for Life Journey, i am reminded that the only way any of this is possible is when i am present.

My heart does not smile or feel wild and free, or able to to feel and also rise above heartbreak when i am not present.

This past weekend, i got to attend The Holy Ideas Workshop with Russ Hudson here in Minnesota. While the material is breathtaking and Russ’s teaching is exquisite, i had a hard time because of a difficult situation i’ve been managing for the past year or so.

Let yourself breathe and trust.
It is only by a courageous letting go that the heart
becomes free. This is called the wisdom of insecurity.
~ Jack Kornfield in The Art of Forgiveness, p. 160

I was able to be there and practice by breathing and trusting.

As i breathed and held myself in compassion for the hard time i was having, i also consciously felt the support of the floor, the chair, my body, the teachings, the whole community gathered together. This helped me to also trust and to free my heart from time to time to be touched by these wonderful teachings.

My path this last year is really inviting me into the wisdom of insecurity, as a place from which to be free instead of a place to fear.

It’s hard. My body, heart, and mind all want to grab on, to find secure ground–to know what will happen, when, and how…

And yet, when i am able to return to the groundlessness and re-member my wild and free heart, i am home.

Essential Self-Care

a few years ago, i was talking with a girlfriend about what to do when we’re stressed–anxious, overwhelmed, rushing…how to help ourselves come back to ground. she mentioned going to a spa and spending the weekend pampering herself.

at the time, i wasn’t so sure. first of all, the word “pampering” just doesn’t sit well with me. when i look up the definition of “pamper,” i find:

  • from Merriam Webster: “to treat with extreme or excessive care and attention”
  • and the first thing Google pops up is: “indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness; spoil.”

the self-care i’m thinking about isn’t extreme or excessive, and it’s not about indulging or spoiling. it’s self-care. it’s mindful tending to these absolutely amazing bodies we are given to grace this world in!

the other part that didn’t sit right with me is that self-care needs to be a big deal–a weekend retreat, which is not only expensive, but also a lot of time away. if we think this is the only way we can take care of ourselves, then we won’t pay as much attention to the small, doable ways available to us.

that gets me to the title of this post: essential self-care.

i first heard this distinction from Sara Avant Stover, my feminine spirituality teacher, at her Kripalu retreat that i assisted last October. we have to distinguish between essential self-care–that which will truly nourish our essence, the deepest truth of us–and worldly self-care, for lack of a better word.

don’t get me wrong–Sara emphasized this–there is nothing wrong with so called “worldly” self-care. it can feel good to do a little retail therapy, or get a massage, or go to a spa. and if we practice being present with ourselves as we do these activities, we will receive some real self-care from them.

any time we do things to help our nervous system down-regulate from an overly sympathetic, fight or flight mode, into a parasympathetic, tend and befriend mode, we are giving ourselves self-care. (as long as we don’t overdo it into an overly unbalanced parasympathetic mode!) perhaps we could call this self-soothing.

but if we think of self-care only from the perspective of doing nice things to our body, we might be missing the boat. what about the self-care of our hearts? the self-care of our minds? the self-care of our souls? (all together i call this your bodysoul.)

Sara says: “Self-care is just this: lovingly meeting ourselves exactly where we are and allowing things to be as they are.”
(The Book of SHE, p. 42)


what is essential for me might not be the same for you. in order for my whole bodysoul to feel well-tended, i have a bunch of practices over the day that include things for each part of me–body, heart, mind, and soul.

another thing to learn is to take care of ourselves in an attuned way, to lovingly meet ourselves exactly where we are…while i have a regular plan for my practices, i try to stay open to what i need on each day–maybe a poem, maybe a walk, maybe more embodiment, maybe greens for breakfast, maybe a certain type of meditation or prayer…

checking in with yourself and having a garden of practices to choose from makes all the difference!

how do you discern
between essential and “worldly” self-care?
what is essential self-care for you?

babysteps for presence

do you feel it?

that steady increase in tempo now that we’re in the holiday season?

i sure do!

we made it through black friday. and cyber monday.

but now it’s countdown on shopping days before christmas.

we have to find the right gifts for the right amount of money…

we are bombarded by the outer world, inviting, enthralling, dare i say it–manipulating us into focusing on outer fulfillment. just one more piece of chocolate, one more task off the to-do list, one more special stocking stuffer…then all will be well. then i’ll stop. then i’ll rest. then i’ll be satisfied.

it feels like life is speeding up as we move from thanksgiving through the winter holidays and into the new year.

what can we do to be present
in the midst of all of this?

1. first things first. notice how you get off center. notice what makes you lose your cool, feel off balance, get irritable, impatient, anxious…whatever your version of “off center” is. without awareness, nothing else is possible!

2. in the midst of it. turn to yourself with kindness and friendliness. instead of telling yourself to “get over it,” to “put a good face on it,” to “fake it until you make it,” take a moment and gently acknowledge that it’s hard to feel off center. it’s hard to be this busy. it’s hard to feel disconnected from yourself. with compassion, things soften and change in often unexpected ways.

3. when your heart feels more open, let your brilliant mind help you out some more! what one small thing could you do, RIGHT NOW, to help you be more present. you already are a little more present just from steps #1 & #2. what else would support you? could you stretch, sense your feet on the floor and your breath in your belly, dance, get up and walk around, take a breath of fresh air, get a cup of tea, take a nap? what would support you right now?

4. take that babystep! do it! don’t wait until you finish THAT THING. even if it’s just one minute, give yourself what you need to be more present RIGHT NOW. this is living our practice. this is waking up. this is how real change happens, one babystep at a time. it can be that simple.

Retreat Practicing

I received the gift of retreating with Sara Avant Stover to assist her SHE Retreat at Kripalu last week. It was such a blessing to practice with other devoted women in silence, surrounded by the beauty and support of Kripalu!

Many things come up on retreat, especially when you’re in silence. One of the ways we practiced was to write short haiku-like verses to express what was moving in our being. I am sharing some of mine that capture my process on retreat a bit. I’ve grouped them approximately by theme, but the process was not this linear. It rarely is—which is the beauty and scary part of going into the unknown. Note: “Kimmy” is my inner little girl.

Stillness calls clearly.
Leg resists, hearing occludes.
At rest and suffering.

Bells call me to prayer.
I hear only clashing metal.
Let me sleep.

Small power calls me.
Darkened sky threatens rain.
Light awakes within.

sugar-maple-path-500x

Boat adrift at sea
Tree rooted, bending in the storm.
Anchor me. Root me.

Many moments of One.
Christmas trees call me back to small self.
Green hills and blue sky smile.

Stillness beckons my soul.
Body is willing but sticky.
Mind grabs and craves.

red-maple-crop-500x

Laughter bubbles up,
Taking over my face with abandon.
Kimmy’s in the whirlpool.

Can pain and sorrow soften?
The soul becomes more malleable.
True Nature shining through.

goddess-dancing-500x

Take me, Mother, now.
Lift these veils of untruth.
Receive me in Your arms.

Removing my armor.
Can You find your way inside?
I yearn to be Yours.

Immensity calls.
Mind anticipates the direction.
SHE waits in Love.

moon-night-sky-500x

Are you yearning for some retreat time? I’d LOVE to support you in finding some! It is indispensable to your wellness.

Autumn Self-Care Mini-Retreat, Sunday, October 16th, 2:00-5:00
This Way of the Happy Woman® retreat will help you align with the rhythm of Fall through women’s circle practices, yoga, meditation, and journaling. 

Free Welcoming the Sacred E-Book
Sign up for 10 simple ways to create more presence and less overwhelm in your daily life!

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Mindful Living–and Ways to Practice with Me!


What does mindful living look like when you’re going through hard times?

What does mindful living look like when someone you love dies? Like my brother this past month…

What does it mean to be mindful, anyway?


Mindfulness, as I say to my clients, is using the amazing capacity of your mind to be mindful of what is arising in your body, heart, and mind.

Mindfulness is being mindful—sounds circular, doesn’t it. Hmm…


Mindful = using the fullness of my mind, the full capacity to attend, to give my attention to something.

  • If am working and finding myself distracted, my capacity to be mindful is not being exercised.
  • If I am multi-tasking—which researchers say is not possible for the brain—we’re just moving very quickly from task to task—I am most likely not being mindful.
  • If I am wool-gathering, I am not being mindful.
  • If I am on autopilot going over all the details of my brother’s untimely death again, I am not being mindful.

When you use the fullness of your mind to attend to your life, what does it look like?

Paying attention to what your senses are taking in is the easiest way to practice:

  • Being outside and really sensing the quality of air on your skin—temperature, texture, movement…
  • Sipping tea and taking in the aroma, the steam, the temperature, the taste, the texture…
  • Hugging a loved one and feeling the touch and temperature of their body, taking in their particular scent, sensing their touch of you…
  • Gazing at something and really seeing it—all the contours, details, colors, textures, etc.

This practice saves me when I get lost in sad thoughts about my brother. It brings me back to the moment, the life that is living in and around and through my senses and my bodysoul right now.


We can also place our full attention on what we are feeling and what we are thinking.

If I am mindful of what I am feeling, then I notice the sensation of the feeling, it’s location in my body, its intensity, its particular shape. I might even name it. As I grieve my brother: Constriction and collapsing in my chest. Grief. Confusion. Pain.

Being mindful of thoughts is a common form of meditation. In this case, it is especially helpful to find an anchor to return to when I start thinking, like my breath, or concentrating on my belly or the sensation of my feet on the ground. Establishing this anchor first, I then open my awareness to notice my thoughts instead of allowing them to think me.

I am mindful of what I am thinking, using the mind to attend to the mind. I might label the type of thoughts I am thinking in a practice called Noting: worrying, planning, perfecting, anticipating, judging, ruminating, conceptualizing, fantasizing, etc. I might also notice how they are affecting my body and heart.

In these last few weeks of processing my brother’s unexpected death, I have continually practiced returning to mindfulness. Allowing a wide range of feelings to wash over me—from grief to love, from confusion and pain to sweetness and happiness. I sense them, being mindful of how and where I experience them, not holding on to them, but letting them flow through. When the thoughts are looping, trying to make sense of it all, I notice them, sense them, label them, and return to my breath, to my belly, to my feet, and to other senses so that I can come back to the moment that is here. Sunlight, birdsong, aroma of wet earth, warmth of teacup, solid feet… From here, I am resourced. I am open. I am available to live my life as it unfolds with body, heart, and mind—mindfully.

How do you return to mindfulness?

This Fall I am offering a number of opportunities to practice mindfulness—I hope you will join me!


The Mindful Art of Tea, Thursday, September 22nd, 2016
Enjoy the ritual of tea as a vehicle for mindfulness practice.


Autumn Women’s Self-Care Mini-Retreat, Sunday, October 16th, 2016
Give yourself a chance to slow down and welcome the Autumn Season with yoga, meditation, journaling, and more in women’s community.


Choosing Happiness Habits Using the Enneagram, Mindfulness, and Play, 4-Part Series, starting October 18th, 2016
Learn how to access your innate happiness through experiential exercises, new awarenesses, and mindset shifts!


Healthy High Tea, TBD in November. 2016
Enjoy healthy food and mindful conversation in your mindful tea ritual! Watch my calendar.


Free Online “Practice Presence for Life Journey,” TBD in 2017
Join a community to make daily, simple choices to live a life of presence, one mindful choice at a time. Watch my calendar.


NEW: 1-off Holistic Life Coaching and Enneagram Sessions
Get some quick and practical support with ways to approach your life with an attitude of mindful practice. 

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be alive!

Excerpt from Mary Oliver’s The Singular and Cheerful Life:

“The singular and cheerful life of any flower in anyone’s garden or any still unowned field—if there are any—catches me by the heart,
by its color, by its obedience to the holiest of laws:
be alive until you are not.“

Be alive until you are not.

What it means to be alive can seem so different for each of us, but in the moment, it is always the same.

To be truly alive is to allow life to fully express in and through us regardless of circumstance as it flows in any moment.

That singular and cheerful flower’s life will grow and blossom in a tended garden or simply along the roadside amidst the weeds.

We, too, are asked to follow the expression of our own nature—to unfold and blossom in whatever shape that takes, wherever we find ourselves.

In my life and coaching, this comes down to cultivating and allowing our aliveness to express through us.

How do we do that?

Our aliveness expresses on a continuum of quiescence to excitation. Where do you find yourself? Try playing around with the edge and adding a little more of the one you least often allow expression.

Another facet is to become aware of how we block our aliveness. What beliefs, stories, emotions, or behaviors are keeping you stuck? These affect the way your life force energy flows through you, too. Work with understanding and releasing these thoughts, feelings, and behaviors…and see what happens.

Notice your familiar ways of expressing your aliveness—your habits. Can you try on something new? Can you approach something you have labeled taboo? All, of course, in a safe and nourishing way.


One client said at the end of her 6-month program with me:

“Now, I’m happy to say that I have laid the foundation for a company I had wanted to launch. I achieved my weight loss goal by better understanding not only the reasons I was eating, but also the real effects of the food. And I am ready to live this second half of my life, feeling more alive, sexier in my skin,
and more full of passion than I have in a long time!”

Whatever you do, be obedient
to the holiest of laws:
 be [fully] alive until you are not.

If you would like some support following your aliveness, I still have a few spots for holistic life coaching. 

receiving the moment

i recently immersed myself in the book Three Faces of Mind by Elaine de Beauport with Aura Sofia Diaz. in the section on the different intelligences of the neocortex, the “human” brain, i found a really helpful explanation of one of the ways of thinking i really struggle with.

as an Enneagram Type One, one of the ways my ego feels safe is to quickly discern what is right/wrong, good/bad, etc. i notice whether things are done well, put in the right place, or expressed clearly. i notice if people follow-through, act with integrity, speak the truth… i notice this in others and even more in myself.

i know it might seem like it, but this is not just me being picky or judgmental. it is an attempt by my ego personality to always know how to align with the Good, the Right. this not only makes me feel safe in the world, but keeps a sense of myself, my identity going.

unfortunately, it also separates me from myself and from others. when i am discerning, if there is any hint of “i’m better” or that i’m standing on higher moral ground, then what i’m really doing is judging, not simply discerning the differences between things. and people feel this.

Elaine talks about this way of thinking as a less healthy version of Rational Intelligence. we most definitely need the capacity to discern, to think linearly and rationally (left brain), but when it becomes about judging, it is a hindrance rather than a support.

she suggests developing Associative Intelligence to be more whole (right brain). associate thinking is about receiving life as it arrives without judging or even discerning. it is about taking in the fullness of the experience—be that a person, something in nature, a situation, and in this openness to life, to discover something new. it is about connecting as opposed to separating. (there is less healthy associative thinking, too—like getting overwhelmed and lost in the amount of life coming in.)

this is a helpful way for me to understand the practices that i have felt called to take on.

one of the big ones these days has been this RECEIVING of life. when Dave walks into my office to share something or check-in, instead of going into my personality habit of feeling interrupted in my rational working process, i turn away from my computer and toward him. i breathe him in. i listen, i look, i feel into him as much as i can while staying grounded in my body and heart. (this invites my heart online, too.) i receive his presence in the moment instead of blocking it to stay focused on my linear task.

this feels much better to me, and is resulting in deeper connection and communication between us. and i can still use my left brain to limit how long of a break i take, while showing up completely, openly, softly for the time that he is here.

i’m not always very good at this, though! (my rationally intelligent left brain discerns and judges this, too. 🙂 ) i’ve been going through a rough work transition lately, and i’ve found that my rational mind’s conclusion that the other side is wrong, acting out of integrity, and untrustworthy can really keep me from engaging in associative intelligence. i recently had the opportunity to try to connect with the other side, and i was too loaded up with the conclusion that i’m being wronged to allow associative intelligence in.

so, i work with it after the fact in the hopes that i will have more choice next time.

what could associative thinking have looked like?

  • i could have breathed into my feet and belly and up my spine, connecting with my own grounded strength first.
  • i could have breathed down the front of my body, softening to receive the other person.
  • i could have focused softly on including the other person’s experience.
  • i could have listened without immediately jumping in to respond.
  • i could have found something i could connect with in the other person—some glimpse, some feeling, some energy.

how could this have supported me? perhaps i would have learned something new about the other side of the situation. perhaps they would have been more open to listening to me. perhaps i could have spoken a deeper truth from that place of deeper connection.

there are many benefits to practicing skillful associative thinking:

  • it can re-awaken interest in someone you think you know through and through.
  • it can open you up to appreciating something you would have overlooked.
  • it can help you make your own meaning by sensing how something is affecting you.
  • it can build a deeper relationship with your body and heart, as well as with other people.
  • it can open you up to new non-linear creative insights.

how do you practice Associative Intelligence?
does it come naturally to you? i think it is definitely easier for certain Enneagram types as it supports their self-image and basic needs more than Rational Intelligence.

in my holistic life coaching, we explore how to draw on a more whole way of living, using both rational and associative ways of being. we definitely need the healthy version of both!

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Summer Sweetness

Don’t you love summer?

The light, the green, the blossoming, the beauty?

And how about the fun?

Swimming, biking, dancing, vacationing, picnicking, hammocking, camping, hiking, gardening, time with friends, playing outside!!

Let it fill your bodysoul to the brim. Savor it with all your senses. This beauty, this fun, this pleasure…this sweetness is your birthright!

Maia

When we don’t let ourselves really take in the
sweetness of life, we look elsewhere for it—

  • maybe in sweet or comforting foods
  • maybe alcohol or other drugs
  • maybe in screens
  • or in other addictive behaviors…

peony

We NEED pleasure.

We NEED sweetness.


It’s a wise move from the body to let us know that it is lacking and to seek it!

It is an attempt to find more balance and well-being.

How will you create more
pleasure and sweetness
for yourself this summer?

tea with buddha

50 degrees this morning.

a crisp breeze.

the ferns wave gently in response.

the porch swing rocks as if to say I am ready.

sun streams through the gap in the leaves.

my body drinking this warmth in.

tea, my constant companion.

building a pillow block for the wind to keep the tealite that keeps my tea warm from blowing out.

the morning holds me softly.

birdsong, breeze, the hum of human conveyances.

tea, its rich, nutty aroma, mixing with the breeze. it’s flowing warmth pleasing my mouth, my heart, my soul.

the beauty, the sacred ritual of morning tea brings me home to presence,
to my true self.

What morning rituals support your presence?

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